Keys, Purses and Coats
These three items and I have just never gotten along. Keys have a way of getting, not lost, but misplaced. I really do have a special place to put them, but they will just up and disappear! It seems like this happens when I am most rushed for time and of course then I get frantic and look everywhere. Well, you gotta know where I found them. Thats right. Exactly where they are supposed to be... underneath the pile I carry with me all the time. Those of you who know me know that I call myself the bag lady.
Purses. Ooohh, purses. A designer has not been born to this date that has designed a purse that is suitable for me. They are too deep, too shallow, too long, too short, too wide, not wide enough. Too big that everything gets lost or so small that not even my lipstick will fit inside, much less my wallet, my checkbook, my lotion, my mail, all those receipts--well, you get the picture. Of course I have never gotten over the time my purse got stolen in Birmingham, Alabama. But that is a story in itself.
Then there are the coats. Oh yes, the coats. I love pretty coats and own several but it will be a rare occasion that you will see me in one. My mother says I have been this way since I was a child. She would put a coat on me to go play outside, then when she looked a few minutes later, you guessed it. My coat was lying on the ground somewhere. If you talked to my mother she probably would tell you that a lot of my ways now are the same as my childhood days. Just don't go talking to Momma.
When I go out in the winter people are always asking me, "Where is your coat?" Then they just sorta look at me funny. The darn things get in the way of everything! The short ones always get bundled up behind me and that is very uncomfortable. Then there are the long ones! When I get in the car they somehow manage to get stuck in the door. So here I go diddy boppin down the street with my coat tail hanging out. You just gotta know that starts horns honking and pointing at my coat tail. Yes it is embarrassing! Especially since I now have my name and the name of where I work plastered all over my car. Before the signs people may or may not have known me, but with the signs they not only can see my name but where I work. Sorry Mary and Bud.
Don't ask me how these things happen, but if you know me, you understand. The things I could tell on myself.
Gotta go.
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