Trust

It had been a long day--actually a long series of long days. All the company from the weekend had returned to their homes. She was straightening things up, trying to get back to the normal routine. She had gathered the things that need to go to the upper story of the house and was about to go indulge in a long soak in the tub when the phone rang.

"Honey, I'm on my way to the ER. I think I broke my shoulder."

"I'll be about 30 minutes behind you. I'll meet you there."

Arriving at the ER she found him in a room, waiting for x-rays. It wasn't broken, just "separated." They immobilized the arm and sent him home.

Arriving at their home, it was late . . . and dark, but at the fence line she could see one of the horses standing, head hanging low, and waiting for their return. As the headlights caught her, she moved nervously along the fence line. When he came out of the vehicle, she whinnied softly--never taking her eyes off him as he slowly made his way into the house.

Walking the dogs early the next morning, the horse was still at the fence line. Seeing her with the dogs, she blew to let her know she was waiting. She approached the horse standing patiently. The horse ducked her head--barely looking up. She seemed . . . embarrassed . . . apologetic . . . unsure of herself.

The woman walked to her and stroked her jaw, "he will be okay . . . he knows you didn't mean to hurt him . . . he still loves you." Throughout the day, when the woman would be in the yard or on the deck of the house, the horse would be near the fence, nervously pacing with her head hung low.

The next few days were a blur of care. He couldn't use the arm at all. His pain level was manageable--unless he moved. She spent her time helping him, managing his meds, keeping him quiet and still. He trusted her with his care.

As he healed she finally asked exactly what happened. "Your horse will hardly leave the fence line. She hangs her head all the time and I swear she looks embarrassed!"

"Well, she got scared. You know she has always had trust issues. When she gets frightened or startled her first instinct is to rear up a little bit. However, this time when she got startled, she went up too high, lost her balance and came over on top of me. It's a miracle she didn't hurt herself in the process. When she realized I was under her on the ground, she put her feet around me, making sure she wasn't on me and stood up without striking or kicking me. Then the rest of the herd came running up to see what happened and she stood guard over me so they wouldn't run over me until I could get up. She didn't mean to hurt me, but her trust issues got in the way."

Isn't that the way we are with God. Something happens that startles or spooks us and we rear up. Most of the time it is fine, but sometimes we lose our balance--and someone gets hurt . . . ourselves . . . and/or others. Then we are embarrassed. We don't trust God, ourselves, or others to understand . . . or forgive. A vicious spiral begins which can only end when we trust God to love and forgive. Only then can we begin to rebuild relationship--to bridge the gap of trust.

God, it is so easy to get "spooked" and run away or rear up in reaction. Gentle our spirit, God. Teach us to trust. Forgive us when we fail. Strengthen our hearts and encourage us to trust again. So be it. Amen.