Terrors

Her heart was racing so fast she thought it would burst. Every time the sky lit up, she shivered uncontrollable. The sound of the wind and rain as it beat down upon the house scared her. What if it came through the windows . . . or ripped off the roof . . . or the foundation failed. In short the storm terrified her with its violent attack upon her world.

She crawled over beside her parents' bed--trying to block the lightning flashes as they filled the night sky. She lay beside them on the floor--half under the bed. Every growl of thunder made her heart race even more. She couldn't help herself. Her fear overwhelmed her. She joined them in the bed with them after a particularly loud clap of thunder that shook the house to its very foundation.

Crawling into the bed, she wormed her way between their heads and the head board. With each flash and boom of the storm she tried to melt her body into theirs. Eventually she oozed over toward her mom--half covering her head. Even though her parents reached up to comfort her and hold her, she was petrified.

Her mom reached up, stroked her head and tried to sooth her. Her father placed his strong arms around her and held her. They gently pried her from the head of the bed and moved her to between their bodies, as they wrapped their arms and legs around her. Yet, even as they protected and cradled her, speaking quiet, calming words of love, the terrors shook her body.

Slowly the storm abated. Her parents continued to hold her tightly. The storm had moved past, but the fright still gripped her. Shivering as they held her, she finally fell into a restless sleep. Her head knew she was safe, but her heart simply would not listen.

We all doubt God at one point or another. The terrors of this life, the decisions we make, the advice we seek does nothing to calm the inner doubts which hold us bound to our fear like chains binding us. We cling to God while staring in sheer terror at whatever we think is attacking us. The strength God offers us is held in abeyance as we cast about trying to figure it out on our own.

Finally when we have exhausted ourselves; find ourselves shivering and hiding God pulls us into God's grasp to calm, comfort and love us. We slowly realize that we are safe in the palm of God's hands. Nothing can hurt us within God's care. Separation from God is more terrifying than any other possibility. God's presence is our comfort and joy.

God, in our moments of abject terror; when we won't let go of the monster we have created, you reach out to us and pull us to the safety of your loving arms. Teach us to love you. Teach us to trust you. Teach us to rely upon your understanding rather than our own. Help us, O God, to give up our terrors to you and to rely upon your love, grace, and protection. So be it. Amen.