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NASCAR Cooties

Posted Thursday, October 11, 2007, at 1:23 PM

There was just no way I could pass this one up without sharing it with you all.

Apparently, House Homeland Security Committee staffers are on a peculiar mission to study "public health issues at events involving mass gatherings."

Specifically, Nascar races. Before attending the event, these staffers were urged to be vaccinated for hepatitis A, hepatitis B, diphtheria, influenza and tetanus.

According to the story linked above, two Republican staffers turned down the vaccinations but one Democrat staffer did receive the immunizations before the most recent race at Talladega.

At least one North Carolina legislator is rather upset about this.

Health issues at mass gatherings is an interesting subject that should be studied, but this might be going a bit too far.

Regardless, the whole stereotypical view of the Nascar redneck does crack me up. When you send one of these big city yuppies down south they don't know how to handle.

Several years ago I met a girl in St. Louis and when I told her where I was from she started asking me these stupid questions like "Do you have paved roads down there?" and "What's it like to ride a bull?"

Apparently there are people who believe we all just drink beer, ride bulls and have confederate flags tattooed on our foreheads.

I thought you guys could use a good laugh, too.

Showing comments in chronological order
[Show most recent comments first]

Well?? Are the roads paved??? Where is your Bull???

-- Posted by D.W.B. on Thu, Oct 11, 2007, at 1:51 PM

Dude-I love this story! Immunizations or NASCAR tickets/beer? If you can afford one or the other,I guess you'll have to take your chance with cooties,the sweat,alcohol,and high fat/salty food should kill something.

I like your blog,you are a good writer.

(I am practicing not using IM shorthand,because it has got the old people upset-lol-oops-laugh out loud)

-- Posted by CharlesSmith01 on Fri, Oct 12, 2007, at 8:13 AM

Are our roads paved? Well, not all of them. I know for a fact that not all of them are paved up around St. Louis either. She must not get out of the metropolitan area very much.

I met a gentleman (I'll give him the benefit of the doubt) from Iowa who was shocked that some of our country roads are gravel. According to him - all the roads are paved in Iowa. Hahahahahahaha. Idiot.

How stupid for a legislator to think that NASCAR races require immunizations any more than does say, a night at the opera?. Do they not have a clue? Answer - "No."

-- Posted by Ducky on Fri, Oct 12, 2007, at 10:53 AM
Corey Noles' response:
For what it's worth, I lived in Oklahoma for a short stint and one of the things (and there were many) that I thought was really strange is how all of the county roads are paved. In four months I don't think I saw gravel one time. I'm not sure why and I imagine they do have some, but it wasn't many.

The other strange thing was I had a neighbor who walked his sheep every morning. Just like a dog, it had a leash and everything.

Very peculiar state.

Speaking of things that irritate the "old folks," what is "IM Shorthand"?

-- Posted by goat lady on Fri, Oct 12, 2007, at 5:17 PM

IM is Instant Messaging or Instant Messenger,depending on what context you are using.An instant messenger allows you to send a short message almost instantly to someone,if they have also signed up for it.IM shorthand is the way we type on the net or text message or reply on blogs.

You're becomes ur,you is u, I is i,too or two or to is all 2,besides is b/s b/cause it's the fastest way 2 type and usually we are talking to several different people at the same time.

Older People refers to anyone who thinks this is outrageous,they are any generation that didn't grow up with pc's(personal computers and/or the internet)and they also imply the users of IM are stupid and uneducated,instead of turning the mirror back on themselves to say,"Gee,I've turned into the mean cranky old person I disliked when I was young!"

I'm sure there are things that these people did that made the old folks in their day upset,the sad thing is that when they start flaming(snotty,mean PERSONAL attacks on a specific poster they disagree with) they start a flame war(several posters jump in to verbally fight with other posters) and it starts to go south quick.I have my opinions and they are mine and mine alone,so agree or disagree-it's all okay. I try not to start personal conversation like "I've seen Corey secretly wearing Cleveland Indians gear"and it may be true,but it wasn't necessary to post and probably upset Corey for no reason.

I don't mind being corrected,or even challenged,but there is a nice way to talk to anyone on the internet,at church,or in line at Wal-Mart.

Someday I'll be irritated with young people,I hope I don't let my comments get nasty,instead I hope I'm still curious enough to learn something new.

You do get that many posters probably have few friends in real life,because all their postings are snotty,not funny,just mean,and they can't post without trying to correct others.If you correct others grammar or punctuation,make sure your postings are perfect or it is sop(standard operating procedure) to correct that person harshly. I don't pretend to know much of anything,some of the other posters,really think they do know everything. Since IM shorthand upsets old people so much,I am trying to be respectful and not use it.

Also,many posters probably live in different states,not locally,so you never really can be sure if it's your neighbor or not,and as rude as some are,be glad they're not.

-- Posted by CharlesSmith01 on Sat, Oct 13, 2007, at 9:11 AM

Thanks for the techo update! Even an old English teacher would agree that bad manners are worse than bad grammar!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sat, Oct 13, 2007, at 9:22 AM

CS101, there is a small and not very influential movement to simplify english writing by making spelling phonetic. The popularity of text messaging and IMing may finally do what that small band of lonely people wailing in the wilderness have failed to do. To a degree, I have to say "hallelujah" to that!

English seems unnecessarily complicated and rule based -- e.g., when to use to, too, two or 2. I admit, I still don't know when the number 2 should be used or spelled out as two! But there is some authoritarian rule enforcer somewhere who does!

I still have to look up the spelling of words in the dictionary that I speak -- because I've forgotten how to spell them. That is just plain ridiculous. But if you don't spell correctly you are considered a second-cousin to a Neanderthal -- and illiterate to boot!

What I can see developing from text messaging/IMing is a dual system of English spelling. A "Low" English based on phonetic spelling for everyday use by the proles and real people -- and a "High" English for the snooty Ivory Tower crowd that is obsessed with feeling superior by enforcing the current rule based insanity.

So even though I don't know all the IMing shorthand, as far as I'm concerned CS101, you can use it to your hearts content and I won't hold it against you.

BTW, CS101, has anyone tried putting out a publication using nothing but IMing shorthand? Humm... Let's see... Newspapers are losing circulation in part because not enough young people are reading them. So an idea is The Daily Statesman could try printing a section of the paper in nothing but IMing lingo to for all the young hipsters. Might get the paper some national coverage as being on the leading edge of a new wave? Actually, I think I'd like to see how that would look.

I wonder what Goat Lady, our esteemed English teacher, thinks of that idea!?

-- Posted by FJGuy on Sat, Oct 13, 2007, at 2:08 PM

Dude-great idea.

I think she'd be cool with it-read her postings,she's a nice person all around.I hope when I'm older I still like to learn new things like her.

"Good manners are more important than good grammar" so true-bad grammar never hurt anyone's feelings.

-- Posted by CharlesSmith01 on Sat, Oct 13, 2007, at 6:15 PM

This sure was handled wrong. If you are working for Homeland Security you should be required to be full immunized at all times. If these people are going to be evaluating areas where they want to see if there is a possible chance of a health hazard, why wouldn't that have been an employment requirement when you first hire on, exactly like the military or health professionals in other fields.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Sun, Oct 14, 2007, at 9:32 AM

Love the way we balance several topics at the same time!

I'm not opposed to two separate levels of English; in fact, we already have several levels for different segments of society and occasions. I haven't heard the word "ebonics" in a long time, but it was one level. Then there's colloquial English, typical of different regions of the country. I love the regional variations of English and would never abolish them!

However, Standard English is not just a language for the "snooty Ivory Tower" crowd. If you have no standard, your language can become hopeless corrupted, so that it no longer even resembles anything which ANY of us can understand.

You bloggers are so sharp: I just love to hear your ideas!

Keep up the good work, Corey! You always manage to come through with some good stuff which attracts thought-provoking opinions from both old and young!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Oct 14, 2007, at 11:52 AM

If it's just the stereotype redneck that loves NASCAR, I've got some of that flowing in my veins then! Born in Anaheim, CA..... love the roar of the horsepower and partying with 100,000 of my closest friends!

BTW, I've also ridden bulls and spent many a year down an old gravel road!

-- Posted by greer958 on Mon, Oct 15, 2007, at 5:08 PM

The comment on paved roads made me think of a family friend who is Irish and lived here a few years ago. She was often asked the dumbest questions,just as you were.

One time we were at a local eatery and our waitress actually asked her,"Do you have indoor plumbing in your village?"

My friend didn't miss a beat and answered,"Every other house dear".

We are no better than city slickers as she was asked a lot of questions from Irish Spring soap to leprechauns,and she would just laugh it off.

(Her folks were college professors and she landed in semo by marriage,and I really felt like a bumpkin when we visited her a few years ago in Ireland-what a pretty country).

-- Posted by AngelinaJolie on Wed, Oct 17, 2007, at 8:40 AM
Corey Noles' response:
HAHA! The girl who asked me what it was like to ride a bull I had a lot of fun with. Some people are just so dumb you can't help, but to enjoy it. I told her, "the first time was pretty scary, but after that you get used to it." Of course I've never been on a (non-mechanical) bull in my life, nor do I have any intention of ever doing it. However, my two experiences with the mechanical beast each left me injured.

It's kind of like my friends theory on skydivers. There's just something wrong with purposely jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. So, I figure if I can walk fine now, why would I get on a bull where chances are good I will never walk right again?

yeah i use the im stuff too lol sorry about that guys if you think about the letters tho lol (laugh out lord) or omg (oh my gosh) or ttyl (talk too you later)there not too hard too figure out ttfn (ta ta for now) Ha this is fun!! Very amuzing keep them guessing i say..It's really not that hard....

-- Posted by lynn1979 on Thu, Oct 18, 2007, at 9:56 PM

oops i think i did it again off topic oh well i know it was in there at some point..

-- Posted by lynn1979 on Thu, Oct 18, 2007, at 9:59 PM

We never said it was HARD: I think we said it was IRRITATING!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sat, Oct 20, 2007, at 3:48 PM


-- Posted by lynn1979 on Sat, Oct 20, 2007, at 7:03 PM

Wow, after reading all that, I kinda forgot what the topic was...lol...oh yeah, it was being a redneck! I have a best friend who enlisted in the Navy...she is from right here in dear old Dexter, but you couldn't tell. I don't have much of an accent, I correct my boys on a daily basis if their grammer is incorrect, but the way she talks now is unbelievable! Sometimes, I can't even understand her...when I know she spoke in a way I could understand 7 years ago. I don't see anything wrong w/ it, but my husband and dad do. (And I would like to add that my husband moved here from New York several years ago...back then I couldn't understand him either, but now he sounds like Jeff Foxworthy!) I hope when I reach an older age, I am up for new things and words and fads. I empathize w/ the older generation now w/ all these new words and sayings and what not, so I just hope I can keep up w/ it all and not just look down on it.

-- Posted by mrsdolphin on Thu, Oct 25, 2007, at 8:46 AM

I've been a bunch of places including Iowa and Oklahoma they have paved roads and non paved. From what I can tell they are just like any other place it just depends on how much influence the people that use that road have.

And a sheep for a pet I saw that once too. I was returning home from Texas and at a rest stop in Arkansas I stopped and witnessed a guy in the bed of a pickup having his way with a sheep. I ask him, "What the #@$^% are you doing." He said, "Whats it look like I'm doing? What do you think sheep are for?" So I replied, "In Missouri we shear sheep!" To that he replied, "Hey buddy, I'm not shearing my sheep with nobody."

-- Posted by Carlin may be right on Wed, Nov 7, 2007, at 11:40 PM

Didn't need to hear that.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Thu, Nov 8, 2007, at 6:34 PM

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Corey Noles, staff writer for The Daily Statesman and Editor of The North Stoddard Countian, is the author of a regular baseball/St. Louis Cardinals column and also uses his blog to sound off on various happenings in sports. He also operates a weekly baseball mailbag column.

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