Dexter Daily Statesman

Now, for something completely different …

Posted Thursday, July 26, 2007, at 11:58 PM
<< Previous | Read comments | Respond | Email link | Next >>

Would any of you out there care to share a good, clean joke or funny story? I don't know about you, but I certainly could use a laugh or two.

Thanks in advance.

Comments
Showing comments in chronological order
[Show most recent comments first]

There were four country churches in a small Texas town: The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church and the Catholic Church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set

them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

But -- The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter

Everyone have a good day...

-- Posted by LUFER on Fri, Jul 27, 2007, at 11:30 AM

ElFreda Cox's response:

:-) Thanks for sharing.

Some of us just take life to seriously.

Read on...

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)

Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!!!

Have a lovely day

-- Posted by LUFER on Fri, Jul 27, 2007, at 4:19 PM

ElFreda Cox's response:

Yes, I did! Thanks for sharing.

God has a good sense of humor, so I know He had to get a good laugh about this! Lesson? There's more than one way to (can't say skin here) treat a squirrel!

-- Posted by swift on Mon, Jul 30, 2007, at 12:33 PM

ElFreda Cox's response:

Huh? I don't get it. But thanks for sharing anyway. God certainly does have a good sense of humor.

He sure does...just look at the platypus.

BTW Lufer...that joke has been killing me for 2 days now. I've emailed it to my entire family.

Thanks for the laugh.

-- Posted by CoreyN on Tue, Jul 31, 2007, at 8:59 PM

Great! I am glad you enjoyed it, we all need a good laugh and not take ourselves to seriously

-- Posted by LUFER on Tue, Jul 31, 2007, at 11:21 PM

I heard one at church that's kinda funny. Seems a young preacher was asked by a funeral director in his town to conduct a funeral for a homeless fellow who was to be buried in a new cemetery out in the country.

Well, this preacher drives and drives, and finally gets there an hour late. The men had already dug the grave with a backhoe and were sitting in the shade eating lunch.

This preacher was S-O-O embarassed, but felt like this poor fellow needed a proper send off so he tucked his Bible under his arm and walked up to the grave. Looking down, he saw they had already put on the vault.

The workers were curious, so they gathered around. This preacher started in to preaching like he had never done before. He went from Genesis to Revelation and poured his heart out over the poor homeless man laying in that grave.

When he'd finished, the preacher bowed his head for a moment of silence, then nodded to the stunned workers who stood there with their mouths open.

As the preacher walked to his car, he heard one of the workers say this:

"That sure was some sermon! And it's the first one I heard over a septic tank."

Hope you all like this one.

-- Posted by scotswoman on Wed, Aug 1, 2007, at 12:12 AM

Scotswoman, that was hilarious!!! I can really relate to septic tanks!

-- Posted by goat lady on Wed, Aug 1, 2007, at 7:16 AM

Lol! I enjoyed that!

-- Posted by luckyone on Thu, Aug 2, 2007, at 6:21 PM

I don't care what anyone says, that was funny scotswoman.....I don't know much about septic tanks, but that was funny....

-- Posted by LUFER on Fri, Aug 3, 2007, at 12:30 AM