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There and back: A Blogger's TalePosted Monday, August 13, 2007, at 8:46 AM
I have returned from Memphis, which our blogger buddy Yellow Rose referred to as "the armpit of the South." My sister, one brother, and I traveled 372 miles through 100+ temperatures to visit my daughter and her boyfriend, and I will share my observations on that "arm-pitty" southern city. I'm sure Yellow Rose will be disappointed with some of my observations, as my daughter seemed determined to show me the less seamy side of the armpit...
What I learned in the armpit:
Once the temps reach 100, it really doesn't matter how much hotter it gets. Hot is just hot.
Arkansas is FLAT, FLATTER, AND FLATTEST.
If you don't get gas in Sikeston, you're screwed.
There is a total lack of civilized habitation between Sikeston and Memphis.
100 degrees is HOT.
At seventy miles per hour, you will be passed by every vehicle on the road, including 4 guys in a Ford Expedition so loaded with camping gear that they couldn't see out the back, and so much gear stowed on top that it wobbled from side to side in the wind.
The trip down was 372 miles.
The trip back was 732 miles.
There is a conspicuous absense of armadillo carcasses on I-55 south to Memphis. (Must be the cougars, who come out at night and eat them..)
We counted 742 strips of old tires from 18-wheeler blow outs between Memphis and Sikeston.
My sister and I could probably not afford the trash containers in Harbor Town, much less a house.
The University of Memphis has a nice campus, but not as nice as Semo's.
100 degrees is HOT.
Vegetarians CAN find a place to eat in a city known for its barbecue.
Old people can enjoy Beale Street as a drive-by.
McDonalds is well-protected by both State, County, and local law-enforcement.
Memphis is undoubtedly the traffic light capital of the United States.
They don't sell Hurricanes at the Piggley Wiggley.
But above all, Dorothy was right......"There's noplace like home!"
My thanks to all my blogger buddies for taking time out from a major blog battle to meet us at the Missouri-Arkansas border for a gigantic Welcome Home party! I recognized you all instantly! There was goat lady in her black bolero with her lime green go go boots, Minnie in her Cher pants, Cake Lady with the ever-present rose in her teeth, Yellow Rose with a bright yellow Essex Tent and Awning shirt, and a somewhat serious, sullen-looking man I took to be Mr. I.B. LeTruth.
Though we all refrained from partaking in Cake's sweet-looking little Debbies with the happy faces, we dined on a wide assortment of sundry melons, supplied by Ducky and Mr. Truthy.
Thank you all for a warm welcome which I shall never forget! Good friends and good wine only get better with time. Which reminds me to thank our happy blogger, bringwine, for doing just that! Nothing beats chilled wine on a 108 degree day!!
Signing off from the cool hills of Tillman, Misouri...this is your North Stoddard Countian reporter, Madeline
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Madeline (Giles) DeJournett is the Advance writer for the North Stoddard Countian. A retired high school English/history teacher, she spent 32 years teaching in 5 schools in Missouri and Alaska. These days, she lives quietly with a menagerie of wild and domestic animals on 52 secluded acres in the remote Tillman hills south of Advance. She graduated from Dexter High School in 1960 and Southeast Missouri State in 1964. She can be contacted at email@example.com.