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The Widow's Goat Guard

Posted Tuesday, November 20, 2007, at 6:53 PM

This little Tillman goat is wearing his sporty new headdress, which is designed to keep him out of the fence during the Thanksgiving holiday.
Today I came home from work to find my little goat "Hot Shot" with his head stuck in the fence once again. Awhile back, I posted a photo of a friend's homemade Goat Guard, created from a wooden stick and radiator hose clamps - but, I, not being so mechanically-inclined as my friend, decided upon a more primitive invention.

Using the ever-versatile duct tape and a wooden paint stir stick, I fashioned a headdress atop the little goat's horns. This structure will hopefully prevent him from putting his head through the fence and then being unable to get it out.

His mother, Tinker Bell, a delicate little white goat with a heart-shaped face, nibbled at my shirt and my hair while I held her young one captive and operated on his head.

Once the headdress was in place, the three of us walked back up the hill to the goat houses. The adult goats pointedly ignored Hot Shot in his new finery, but the younger goats knew immediately that something was different about their young cousin - and they came close to see what it was. I could almost hear them saying, "Wow, dude! Cool hat!"

Now Hot Shot is all ready for his trip to a friend's house for a Thanksgiving visit with children from up north in the big city. My little red goat will spend a few hours entertaining the City Slickers, who have been tormenting their southern cousins and calling them "hicks." I think the "hicks" are planning a big Southeast Missouri surprise for their uppity Yankee relatives. I believe the plan is to give Hot Shot the run of the house for a period of time, as if he's just one of the dogs...

Okay by me, unless they make fun of him and cause him to have an inferiority complex - and I simply will not tolerate that kind of behavior!

Ah, Thanksgiving traditions! A fire in the fireplace, the smell of pumpkin pie in the air, a roll of duct tape on the table, and a goat on the hearth! What more could you ask for?

From the down home hills of Tillman, this is your friendly goat herder, wishing you and yours a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Showing comments in chronological order
[Show most recent comments first]

Looks like one of the advance force for an alien invasion by goat-like creatures with communication devices attached to their head.

-- Posted by FJGuy on Tue, Nov 20, 2007, at 7:33 PM

Just tell those city slickers that Missouri goats have built in radar and they're picking up everything said on their cell phones and on MySpace! Gotta earn Hot Shot some well deserved respect

-- Posted by bringwine on Tue, Nov 20, 2007, at 7:55 PM

Goats rule! Yankees drool!

-- Posted by goat lady on Tue, Nov 20, 2007, at 8:20 PM

This was so funny MD.

When we wake up from our turkey/pie induced coma this weekend, we will all be looking forward to a full report on "Guess Who Came to Dinner".

Those poor Yankees,you could sell them beach front property in Mingo!

Everybody have a great holiday!

-- Posted by Yellow Rose of Essex on Wed, Nov 21, 2007, at 8:40 AM

Yellow Rose, Good to see you again! It's been awhile since we've heard from you, Ducky, or Cake Lady on any of the blogs.

You have a lovely Thanksgiving, too!

-- Posted by goat lady on Thu, Nov 22, 2007, at 7:22 AM

Oh my gosh! I came across vital new information about Hot Shot and the planet Goat! It can be read at, http://forejustice.org/md/hotshot.html

-- Posted by FJGuy on Sun, Nov 25, 2007, at 6:32 PM

What did I tell you!!! The whole radar thing is playing out..hadn't thought about an entire planet being involved, but the above website proves it to be true. Amazing! And just look at Hot Shot's keeper...whoa!! I'm going out to get myself a goat..just look what it's done for the Tillman herder. FJ, thanks so much for locating this webpage and sharing the info...very worthwhile.

-- Posted by bringwine on Sun, Nov 25, 2007, at 8:38 PM
Madeline Dejournett's response:
Well, I tell you, if goat-herding can do THAT for me, I guess I should buy a few more!

Who knew all that was going on in outer space?? Maybe Orson Wells had it right!!

FJGuy, that is just too funny. What an idea.

So, Lady Madeline, how did Hot Shot like his Thanksgiving trip to visit the dreaded yankees? We've all been waiting to hear your report - at least we started waiting after we recovered from turkey overdose.

-- Posted by Ducky on Mon, Nov 26, 2007, at 12:51 PM
Madeline Dejournett's response:
Poor Hot Shot is SO disappointed! He got stood up on Thanksgiving! The Yankees showed up sooner than the host expected, and he didn't have time to pop out to the DeJournett farm and get the little goat for their prank!

Hot Shot has been moping around the farm all week! Let's hope he doesn't put a call in to his alien friends to come zap some of us humans with a death ray!!

FJGuy, where DO you find these obscure, little-known websites???

And who knew that goats had such super intelligence and communication abilities? All these years they've gone to such great lengths to pretend stupidity!

Makes you wonder if there are other life forms, just waiting for us to turn our backs - and BOOM! they'll take over the world!!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Nov 26, 2007, at 4:09 PM

GL, Alfred Hitchcock portrayed in The Birds that if winged creatures ever turned on mankind we'd be in big trouble. I wonder what they are thinking?!

-- Posted by FJGuy on Mon, Nov 26, 2007, at 8:25 PM

They're thinking, "Yum, yum, those human eyeballs look GOOD!!" Hahaha!

Don't ever turn your back on a bird!

-- Posted by goat lady on Tue, Nov 27, 2007, at 6:47 AM

Youngest Child may have thought about what would happen if all the animals that people eat suddenly "stood" up and decided they were mad as h*** and weren't going to take it anymore!! What would it be like if all the cows and turkeys and chickens and deer and elk (and dogs and cats in other countries) suddenly turned on man? Could mankind survive the uprising?

There is a scene in the wonderful movie "Star Man" in which an alien (Jeff Bridges) who has taken the form of a dead man sees a deer at a truck stop that has recently been shot by hunters. He asks the woman he is with (Karen Allen): "Do deer shoot people?" After the alien brings the deer back to life and sends it on its way into the woods, the hunters go berserk and beat him up.

-- Posted by FJGuy on Wed, Nov 28, 2007, at 7:44 PM
Madeline Dejournett's response:
I have not seen that movie, I guess. I sure don't remember an alien disguised as a dead man, bringing a deer back to life. Very original plot line.

Eewwww!!! Was it as gross as the "Men in Black" scene where the creature takes over the body of that hillbilly, and he goes off on a rampage???

Oh, my gosh, that was the most awful scene, all the more horrible because it was funny and gory and revolting - all at the same time! In fact, the whole movie was like that! I didn't know whether to laugh or scream!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sat, Dec 1, 2007, at 2:59 PM

GL, No, the alien in Starman came in peace at the invitation of the Voyager space probes that for thirty years have been speeding through space broadcasting information about Earth. The "bad guys" were the government agents chasing him who wanted to dissect him to see what made him tick.

A funny aside about the Voyager missions is years ago I saw Carl Sagan speak about his work with SETI. During the Q & A session afterwards someone expressed alarm that the Voyager probes were broadcasting Earth's position to possibly unfriendly intelligent life in the Universe. Sagan's response was that Voyager sends out a relatively weak radio signal, while television signals are very powerful and travel for billions of light years in space before dissipating. So the first things "aliens" will intercept are early television programs such as "I Love Lucy", "Milton Berle", and "Red Skelton." Sagan said that after watching those comedies that the aliens could assume mirror real life on Earth, they will probably conclude that Earth doesn't have intelligent life and isn't worth visiting. It was hilarious! Sagan's response pointed out that so many of our fears have no basis in reality.

-- Posted by FJGuy on Sat, Dec 1, 2007, at 11:55 PM

Cool information, FJGuy!!

That reminds me of the old "Star Trek" episode in which Cap't Kirk, Spock, and the others found a planet which had somehow based its entire society on the Chicago gangster era!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Dec 2, 2007, at 9:05 AM

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Madeline DeJournett
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Madeline (Giles) DeJournett is the Advance writer for the North Stoddard Countian. A retired high school English/history teacher, she spent 32 years teaching in 5 schools in Missouri and Alaska. These days, she lives quietly with a menagerie of wild and domestic animals on 52 secluded acres in the remote Tillman hills south of Advance. She graduated from Dexter High School in 1960 and Southeast Missouri State in 1964. She can be contacted at advancensc@sbcglobal.net.
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