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Breaking news: Grey Panthers kidnap noted journalistPosted Tuesday, June 10, 2008, at 9:47 PM
Authorities today released a ransom note sent to the office of the Daily Statesman in Dexter, Missouri, after the disappearence of the newspaper's star blogger - Minnie O'Pausal, a 92-year-old retired postal employee, who was working part-time nights.
The letter was signed in dried blood, which, upon DNA testing, turned out to be that of the anonymous nonogenarian.
Credit for the daring abduction was claimed by the Grey Panthers, a militant arm of the AARP. It is thought that the group was incensed by Ms. O'Pausal's irreverent attitude toward her own aging process.
Ms. O'Pausal was known to keep late hours at the Statesman office, working by candlelight at her desk in a back room in order to maintain the absolute secrecy of her identity.
It is thought that the kidnappers gained entry by climbing in through an air conditioning vent and used silver duct tape to subdue the feisty O'Pausal, who was known to have a black belt in karate. However, in later years, Ms. O'Pausal suffered from Advanced Creeping Senility (ACS) and had forgotten the skills which she had formerly mastered.
The ransom note demanded one million dollars and a helicopter to be delivered to an abandoned warehouse in the Cotton Belt region of Dexter.
It is not known if the Statesman will cave into the demands of the kidnapper in order to regain their star reporter. Publisher Bud Hunt was unavailable for comment.
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Madeline (Giles) DeJournett is the Advance writer for the North Stoddard Countian. A retired high school English/history teacher, she spent 32 years teaching in 5 schools in Missouri and Alaska. These days, she lives quietly with a menagerie of wild and domestic animals on 52 secluded acres in the remote Tillman hills south of Advance. She graduated from Dexter High School in 1960 and Southeast Missouri State in 1964. She can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org or by phone at 573-722-5322.
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