Greasy kid stuff?

Posted Friday, June 13, 2008, at 8:06 AM

In these troubling economic times, the strange stories just keep piling up. One of my blogger buddies sent me a May 30, 2008 story from the Herald Tribune. It seems that some enterprising bandits recently vacuumed out 300 gallons of fryer oil, "yellow grease," from a Burger King in Northern California.

Holy Moly! What on earth could these slimey crooks have wanted with used cooking oil?? I called the McDonalds in Advance and was told that they would be glad to have someone come steal their oil; they have to pay someone to come take it away!

The greasy Burger King thief in California was caught, and police found 2,500 gallons of fryer grease in his truck. How's that for "thinking outside the box"?

He isn't the only creative crook out there. The theft of cooking oil is such a problem in the Northwest that the Olympia Pizza and Pasta Restaurant in Arlington, Washington is considering the installation of a surveillance camera to keep watch on their 50-gallon grease barrel! The owner says that the barrel has been hit seven or eight times since last summer...

Let me get this straight: This guy sends some poor employee out each morning to measure the amount of grease which was stolen during the night? How would you like to have THAT job?? ("Hi, Fred, whatcha been doin' since high school?" "Ah, I measure stolen grease...")

I would think the restaurant owner would be grateful to get rid of the stuff for free, but maybe he's contacted a buyer for this "liquid gold."

Turns out that the yellow grease is traded on the commodities market, and its value is steadily increasing as "an ever more popular form of biodiesel to fuel cars and trucks."

Whoa! I see all sorts of possibilities here!

From the grease-free hills of Tillman, Mo., this is your never-eat-anything-fried reporter Madeline signing off on a gorgeous summer morning.

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Fear not, Ducky. I've been busy guarding my grease and developing some delicious new cake recipes. Hmmm...maybe I can combine the two - just a thought.

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Sat, Jun 28, 2008, at 2:45 PM

Oh, I don't think so, FJ! I do not like grease in any form or shape...I do not like it in a bin, I do not like it a gin..I do not like yellow grease..I do not like it, Sam I am!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Jun 15, 2008, at 10:20 PM

MD, run an ad in the NSC -- "Restaurant grease wanted - Top Dollar Paid !!" -- and every fast-food and greasy spoon restaurant for miles around will be raided in the dead of night! GL might even be out looking for grease with her goats pulling a cart loaded with 55-gallon drums!!

-- Posted by FJGuy on Sat, Jun 14, 2008, at 4:23 PM

Hey! We haven't seen letseatcake or angelinajolie on the blogs in quite a while either. Do you think the same dastardly villians who snatched yellow rose got them too? Something needs to be done to rescue our beloved blogger buddies.

Darn - I just had another horrible thought. Could letseatcake have gotten hold of one of her "special" cakes by mistake? Oh, please, no, not that! Cake, if you're out there - please allay our fears.

-- Posted by Ducky on Sat, Jun 14, 2008, at 8:32 AM

Can't you see two inmates in a jail cell? Inmate 1: Whatcha in for? Inmate 2: Theft. Inmate 1: Whatja steal, a car? Inmate 2: Uhhh....grease.

According to what we see on tv, Inmate 2 wouldn't last long on the inside.

-- Posted by Ducky on Sat, Jun 14, 2008, at 8:13 AM

A fellow came through Springfield a while back with a truck he called a "Greasel". It was a diesel truck he'd converted to run on waste oil from fast food places. It ran beautifully with that signature clackity-clack that's so typical of a diesel. It ran pretty clean too. He said the worst part was that people would follow him because his exhaust smelled like french fries. If you have to have a problem, that's a pretty good one.

-- Posted by mokath52 on Sat, Jun 14, 2008, at 7:31 AM

I can see the headlines...."Oily trail down Hwy. 25 North leads to apprehension of grease bandits"

So, what's next?...ordering in McD's drive-thru and adding, "I'd like a little extra grease in those fries, please?"

Will wonders never cease?

-- Posted by bringwine on Fri, Jun 13, 2008, at 10:57 PM

Some vehicles can now be run on 'grease and oils' my, my arent we being creative,,, too bad we cant find something thats runs on 'hot air'.....not meaning your blogs MD.

Off topic,, I've made 2 Thursday runs from Dexter to Bloomfield on Thursdays to Farmers markets and no sellers in sight. Help please.

-- Posted by changedname on Fri, Jun 13, 2008, at 1:00 PM

Mmmm...do you think grease theft will rival the theft of anhydrous ammonia in this part of the country?? I wonder how much jail time a grease thief would get??

"Grease thief.." That's a catchy title!

"Grease thieves strike area fast food restaurants!"

-- Posted by goat lady on Fri, Jun 13, 2008, at 8:18 AM

Off the wall

Madeline DeJournett

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Madeline DeJournett is the Advance writer for the North Stoddard Countian. A retired high school English/history teacher, she spent 32 years teaching in 5 schools in Missouri and Alaska. These days, she lives quietly with a menagerie of wild and domestic animals on 52 secluded acres in the remote Tillman hills south of Advance. She can be contacted at advancensc@sbcglobal.net or by phone at 573-722-5322.

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