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My Life with a cat burglar

Posted Saturday, November 8, 2008, at 8:00 PM

From his throne atop my favorite chair, my cat Tybalt watches for an opportunity to steal some essential element of our lives - such as our car keys, my vitamin tablets, or a bathtub stopper.
Tempting as it might be to post another political blog, I'm forcing myself to stick to more frivolous, silly subjects, you'll notice, so that all you readers can say to yourself, "What a silly person! The world is changing around us at an alarming rate, and here's a blogger who chooses to waste our time with frivolity!" Ah, what is life for, if not frivolity??

The point is - Thursday night I could not find my car keys. I had a meeting at 6:30, and the keys were nowhere to be found! Looked everywhere - dumped out my purse on the floor. No keys.

Gotta take the truck. Durn, I hate to drive the truck at night...Where's the button for the high beams?? Stomp around on the floor...No, that's not it. Oh, well...drive with them on low...windshield fogs up...turn on wipers...bumpppp...bumppp...bumppp...durn..need new wipers...cell phone rings in my pocket.."Didja forget the meeting??"

Don't tell the girls at the meeting that I lost my keys...they'll say, "Didja look in yer pockets?? Didja look on the ground?" And on & on until I want to strangle them... but of course, I tell them... Sure enough..."Did ya look in yer pockets?" Grrr...NO! Why would I do that???" My best friend Emma accuses me of being "sarcastic"! "You'd better find yer keys or yer not gonna have any friends left with that attitude!"


The last time this happened, it was my daughter's keys.

"Mom, I left my keys right here on the end table. Where are they?"

"I haven't seen them, Kristin."

"But I left them right here!"

"Well, they didn't just get up and walk off! You must have left them someplace else!"

"But I didn't! They were right here!"

I looked at the cat, who once took the stopper out of my bath tub and carried it down under the computer table at a time when I was looking forward to a hot bath. He looked back at me with wide innocent yellow eyes. "Who, me?"

We searched the house over and over, turned everything upside down...I didn't want her to leave and neither did the cat! I finally found her keys - of all unlikely places - down in the basement on the floor. I don't know why I even looked there, except that it was the only place left! The "Prince of Cats" had struck again.

This time I looked in the basement right away. No keys. I looked under his favorite end table, where he takes the calcium tablets that he finds on the kitchen cabinet....or the dog's antibiotics (that wasn't pleasant, I'll tell you...)

When I got back from the meeting, I looked again. Gotta be here somewhere!

Well, this ending makes the story anticlimactic, but there the keys were on my cluttered desk (the one in the picture) under a piece of paper. Guess I need to apologize to my cat.

Okay, so he didn't do it this time, but I'm still not going to take my eyes off him or let down my guard. He is a pilferer of the first order. I should never have bought cat vitamins for him several years ago. Now he waits until I'm out of the kitchen, and he goes in search of pills! My cat is a drug addict!

I still say that I would give good money to have a beeper on the following items: 1) car keys 2) glasses 3) TV remote.

I wonder if I could train my cat to fetch??

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Good story! I have another one, too, if you wanna talk about revengeful animals. One of my aunts absolutely hated animals in the house. While she was visiting one of my cousins, their little dog pee'd in her suitcase!

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Nov 10, 2008, at 8:19 PM

I had a cat when I was a kid that for whatever reason did not like my mother. My mom was washing her cars one day and laid the keys on the ground. The cat snuck up and snatched the keys and headed off toward this teeny weeny hole in the foundation of the house where she liked to sleep. Luckily my mom turned around in time and startled the cat enough when she yelled that the keys were dropped just before they were lost forever under the house. Funny part is the cat came out from under the house a few minutes later searching for the keys again.

-- Posted by NeDfLaNdErS on Mon, Nov 10, 2008, at 5:33 PM

Haha! You can't blame a dog for thinking in literal terms! It SAYS "doggy bag," therefore, it must be intended for the dog!! That's the thing about dogs - They're basically "up front" kinda guys - Your dog obviously thought the doggy bag was intended for him/her.

Cats, on the other hand, know very well that it isn't intended for them (for one thing, it isn't called a "kitty bag"), but they DON'T CARE! They want it anyway, and they're perfectly willing to engage in subterfuge to get it!! All is fair in war and food!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Nov 9, 2008, at 2:18 PM

We're dog folks--they don't steal keys. They do, however, steal the occasional roast beef or doggy-bag from a favorite restaurant, if left witin reach on the table. (Just because it was CALLED a doggy-bag did not mean I intended it for my favorite dog, my soul-mate boxer!) Cats are fine, too. Since I can't have both though, make mine a dog.

-- Posted by GONENOW on Sun, Nov 9, 2008, at 1:14 PM

Last night my gentleman friend said that cats had "primal" instincts, and that's why he didn't like them -- they prowled around at night! Haha! Those of us who are 'cat people' find their independence and aloofness appealing.

There's nothing so restful to me as the sight of a cat, lying in a little patch of sunshine.

Of course, I like dogs, too. It's just a totally different thing with dogs, since they're so eager to please! A cat could care less!! Haha!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sat, Nov 8, 2008, at 9:31 PM

Isnt it nice not to speak of politics??? Kidding though, we can let others jump in that fray. We have a rule in our house, all keys go on the key hanger in the hallway.....let's see ole Tylbalt jump that high. Good thing you dont live in my neighborhood, we have a person near here that grabs all loose kitties and calls the cat-(dog) catcher. Of course Dexter has a lease law.

-- Posted by changedname on Sat, Nov 8, 2008, at 8:40 PM
Madeline Dejournett's response:
Oh, no, this is an inside cat! I have two cats who are never allowed outside. On the outside, I have the little cat that my son and daughter-in-law had to bring out to the farm, because their neighbor in Kelso didn't like the cat digging in his flower beds.

That gives me three cats and two dogs. My sister-in-law recently found a home for a stray rat terrier who was dumped out here two years ago.

I can't imagine life without animals!

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Madeline DeJournett
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Madeline (Giles) DeJournett is the Advance writer for the North Stoddard Countian. A retired high school English/history teacher, she spent 32 years teaching in 5 schools in Missouri and Alaska. These days, she lives quietly with a menagerie of wild and domestic animals on 52 secluded acres in the remote Tillman hills south of Advance. She graduated from Dexter High School in 1960 and Southeast Missouri State in 1964. She can be contacted at advancensc@sbcglobal.net.
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