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My Life with a cat burglarPosted Saturday, November 8, 2008, at 8:00 PM
From his throne atop my favorite chair, my cat Tybalt watches for an opportunity to steal some essential element of our lives - such as our car keys, my vitamin tablets, or a bathtub stopper.
The point is - Thursday night I could not find my car keys. I had a meeting at 6:30, and the keys were nowhere to be found! Looked everywhere - dumped out my purse on the floor. No keys.
Gotta take the truck. Durn, I hate to drive the truck at night...Where's the button for the high beams?? Stomp around on the floor...No, that's not it. Oh, well...drive with them on low...windshield fogs up...turn on wipers...bumpppp...bumppp...bumppp...durn..need new wipers...cell phone rings in my pocket.."Didja forget the meeting??"
Don't tell the girls at the meeting that I lost my keys...they'll say, "Didja look in yer pockets?? Didja look on the ground?" And on & on until I want to strangle them... but of course, I tell them... Sure enough..."Did ya look in yer pockets?" Grrr...NO! Why would I do that???" My best friend Emma accuses me of being "sarcastic"! "You'd better find yer keys or yer not gonna have any friends left with that attitude!"
My point: It's NO FUN LOSING YOUR KEYS!!
The last time this happened, it was my daughter's keys.
"Mom, I left my keys right here on the end table. Where are they?"
"I haven't seen them, Kristin."
"But I left them right here!"
"Well, they didn't just get up and walk off! You must have left them someplace else!"
"But I didn't! They were right here!"
I looked at the cat, who once took the stopper out of my bath tub and carried it down under the computer table at a time when I was looking forward to a hot bath. He looked back at me with wide innocent yellow eyes. "Who, me?"
We searched the house over and over, turned everything upside down...I didn't want her to leave and neither did the cat! I finally found her keys - of all unlikely places - down in the basement on the floor. I don't know why I even looked there, except that it was the only place left! The "Prince of Cats" had struck again.
This time I looked in the basement right away. No keys. I looked under his favorite end table, where he takes the calcium tablets that he finds on the kitchen cabinet....or the dog's antibiotics (that wasn't pleasant, I'll tell you...)
When I got back from the meeting, I looked again. Gotta be here somewhere!
Well, this ending makes the story anticlimactic, but there the keys were on my cluttered desk (the one in the picture) under a piece of paper. Guess I need to apologize to my cat.
Okay, so he didn't do it this time, but I'm still not going to take my eyes off him or let down my guard. He is a pilferer of the first order. I should never have bought cat vitamins for him several years ago. Now he waits until I'm out of the kitchen, and he goes in search of pills! My cat is a drug addict!
I still say that I would give good money to have a beeper on the following items: 1) car keys 2) glasses 3) TV remote.
I wonder if I could train my cat to fetch??
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Madeline (Giles) DeJournett is the Advance writer for the North Stoddard Countian. A retired high school English/history teacher, she spent 32 years teaching in 5 schools in Missouri and Alaska. These days, she lives quietly with a menagerie of wild and domestic animals on 52 secluded acres in the remote Tillman hills south of Advance. She graduated from Dexter High School in 1960 and Southeast Missouri State in 1964. She can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.