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The former Daily Statesman is now The Dexter Statesman and currently does not have an operating website.

Old thinking for a new year

Posted Friday, January 23, 2009, at 3:24 PM

A recent comment on my last blog made me realize how "hide bound" my thinking has become these days. I seem to have fallen into a bog, a swampland of mundane ideas and foggy thoughts, a wasteland of overused platitudes as ill-fitting as the sloppy over-sized flannel pants that my friend Emma brought me from the thrift store. I don't want to get out of my comfy pants, big sweatshirts and worn out mind-set.

I need to embark on a house-cleaning project which encompasses my entire life style! I need to quit eating the old foods, going to the same old places, reading the same tired ideas. I need to get up out of my favorite over-sized chair, push my favorite cat off my lap, get on the treadmill, and walk myself into a stupor!

I need to take my brain out, hold it in my hands, dunk it in a big bucket of bleach, and then wring it out till it's nearly dry - put it in the sun and let it burn to a bright beet red, and then see if I can get it back in my head.

I need to clean out my car. Take it to that big outside vacuum cleaner at the car wash, and vacuum up everything short of my old tennis shoes. I'll bet I have stuff that's been lurking under the front seats for four durned years! I'll bet if I lift up that middle seat, I'll find a whole family of field mice in there amidst their chewed-up Kleenex beds, eating old puppy biscuits and ibuprofen tablets that I've dropped between the cracks.

I need to polish my shoes. I look like a bag lady, scuffling around in my worn out S.A.S. Free Spirit walking shoes.

I need to get new glasses that I can SEE out of! I can't read the signs along the highway, can't see the television, can't see who I'm calling on my cell phone. I feel as if I'm swimming under water, and the world is passing me by. I need to get on board the boat before it takes off without me and I'm left to wander aimlessly in the wilderness forever.

I need to get an Alzeimer's check up, if there is such a thing. I can walk from the kitchen to the laundry room and forget what I went for. "Retrace your steps," they advise me. For Pete's sake, how many trips do I need to make, back and forth - back and forth! I've started repeating the name of the item aloud on the trip: "Trash bags...trash bags...trash bags..."

My daughter says I need to save electricity by using more nite lights and turning off the big lights, so this weekend I went through drawers looking for the old nite lights. But how will I remember to get new bulbs?

I need an answering machine. I'm tired of people not being able to reach me by phone unless they happen to have my cell phone number (and I do not want just anyone to have that!) I bought a new machine the other day, and I'll hook it up this weekend. At least I'll have messages until the first lightning storm or power surge - and then I'll have to go get another one.

I'm tired of my hair. I get up in the morning looking as if I combed it with an egg beater. I'm tired of the color. I want something exciting - maybe bright red with purple streaks.

I'm tired of my clothes. I want something bright purple. And GREEN. Bright green. Orange would be good, too.

I want warm weather to be here. I'm tired of the cold. I'm tired of carrying wood and starting fires that don't want to start. I'm tired of wearing two pairs of long socks and still having feet that are freezing. I think I need electric shoes.

I'm tired of looking in the mirror and seeing wrinkles. I want some make-up that'll take me away like the Calgon bath commercial.

From the dreary office of the North Stoddard Countian in downtown Advance, this is your raving rural reporter Madeline, signing off on another endless winter's day. If you don't hear from me again soon, I may have gone to visit my friend Juanita in Hawaai...

Showing comments in chronological order
[Show most recent comments first]

Give me two years Mrs. D, and you will have more glasses than you know what to do with!

-- Posted by 20/20 on Fri, Jan 23, 2009, at 3:59 PM
Madeline Dejournett's response:
Oh, wow! One of my very favorite former students out there in college, getting a degree in.....opthamology, is it? I can hardly wait to see you in practice! (If I can still see by then!) Those blue eyes of yours will be a welcome sight, for sure!

I'll try to stay on the road and avoid the ditches till then.

I think we all need to 'turn over a new leaf', this one is getting worn ragged. A new everything would be great. I'm tired of winter, cold, wind, cold, clouds, cold and just being cold.

I can recommend new glasses, I've seen new road signs that I never realized were there before. Driving by memory can be dangerous sometimes. Even had the doctor vacuum my ears and now don't need a hearing aid, see sometimes some information can be too much. With new eyes and ears again I feel like I'm 39.

Let us know how all the improvements work out, it'll be interesting.

I give this topic 4 hours to become political. Just kidding of course.

-- Posted by changedname on Fri, Jan 23, 2009, at 4:31 PM
Madeline Dejournett's response:
Dexterite, you are a jewel! Thanks for cheering me up on this cold Saturday morning. I'm going to work hard today to improve my attitude.

Surely the rowdies can't do anything with this one...

OH GOOD LORD,Girlfriend, If you haven't been to a good ophthamologist, please do so!! I spent more than a normal amount of time trying to figure out why I couldn't see!! Bi-Lateral cataracts, both oil-film and nuclear, had me walking around trying to look at the world through wax paper!! I'm 60-plus in age. I can hook you up with one of the premier cataract surgical teams in the Universe, Kansas University School of Medicine, Opthamology Dept, on State Line Road here in KC!! I have doctors names and their appointments are precious!! The chief of opthalmic surgery and his golden boy resident did mine and **** am I glad I had the intro to get to their expertise!!

It was like having the scales fall away from my eyes when I took off the bandages!! It is snowing up here now, and I can't find it within myself to offer any other bits of wisdom, but **** IT IS CHILLY!!!. Madeline, I'm not familiar with the location of the "Tillman Hills", please refresh my memory as to that topographical locale relative to MO 25 and the city limits of Advance, east/west/north/south, I have cousins from Dudley to Bell City so it shouldn't be a stretch for me to find that locality when prompted logically.

I will leave you with something that might apply to conversations which I have observed in the blogosphere, from our part of the world, and that being:

"Locks are fine for doors and such, to keep the bums away, but tie us down and burn us Lord, the day, we lock away our minds" (c)KKR 11/29/74

Regards to the Bootheel, and I have yet begun to hold forth from the icy ridges of eastern Kansas, and I'm not a Jayhawker, just a Jayhawk fan..... GO KU...kkcaver, DHS65

-- Posted by kkcaver47 on Fri, Jan 23, 2009, at 9:02 PM
Madeline Dejournett's response:
kk, you have given me a wealth of wisdom, my dear! I shall get myself to an opthamologist forthwith! Cataracts are exactly what I suspect!

Tillman is about halfway between Advance & Bell City, so you may have been in the area before - on a trip to see one of your cousins. I cover the Bell City area as part of my "beat," and it's a hop, skip, & a jump over there from here.

Only thing left of old Tillman is the Pleasant Hill Church, a sweet little former-Methodist church with a bell tower, lovingly maintained by the Pleasant Hill Cemetery and Church Association. They don't have services there anymore.

I am so sorry, finally I am becoming comfortable with what I am. Old wrinkles, memory loss, poor eye sight and everything else.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Fri, Jan 23, 2009, at 10:12 PM
Madeline Dejournett's response:
You are wise beyond your years, I.B.!

I'm young and in the same sort of slump! Maybe after my surgery Monday, and after the 6-8 week healing process, I'll feel well enough to turn over a new leaf myself. Wish me luck!

-- Posted by mrsdolphin on Fri, Jan 23, 2009, at 10:52 PM
Madeline Dejournett's response:
We will pray for a successful surgery and full recovery for you, dolphin!

Quick test for alzheimers: count backward from 100 by 7s.

-- Posted by gardengirl on Sat, Jan 24, 2009, at 4:15 PM

Dont have alzheimers,, just counted. Now what could be the cause.

-- Posted by changedname on Sat, Jan 24, 2009, at 6:18 PM

Madeline, et.al.... Lord loves those with CRS disease... you can calculate that "CAN'T REMEMBER SH--!!.. There are good number of optho's in CAPE, and if they can't get you in, try William Godfrey, KU Eye Center, 7600 State Line Road, KC, MO. The chief of surgery is John Sutphin, M.D. for the center, and Ryan Christiansen is his resident golden boy, both know what they're doing, and Ryan is a fisherman!!!My daughter had apoplexy when she met Ryan, and she's 37!! Cougar time, and I told her to stand down!! Take care down there, and get a diagnosis soonest, I struggled for a couple of years not knowing what I was facing, and when I cleared it up it was all the world of difference!! I had a cousin who had folks who lived out east of Advance, then south thru the hills, and it was like a different world, but if you know any of the Hart boys in that area you know my kinfolk from around B.C., second cousins on my Mom's side. Take care among the ridges, and get them peepers checked!! I've got phone numbers if you don't get good answers down there!! kkr

-- Posted by kkcaver47 on Sat, Jan 24, 2009, at 7:24 PM

Oh, no - counting backward by 7's?? If that's the test, then I've had Alzeimer's all my life!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sat, Jan 24, 2009, at 9:26 PM

Thanks for the well wishes. I go in at 6 a.m. tomorrow, and I won't be on here for a while. Hold down the fort for me ladies and gents! ;-)

-- Posted by mrsdolphin on Sun, Jan 25, 2009, at 10:38 PM

Go with God, dolphin!

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Jan 26, 2009, at 7:08 AM

Special blessings to you and your family 'mrsdolphin', see you back here soon.

-- Posted by changedname on Mon, Jan 26, 2009, at 7:35 AM

What about me and the others Dolphin, can we hold it down too? Good luck......

-- Posted by shannonhoon on Mon, Jan 26, 2009, at 10:45 AM

Good Lord, you'll blow it up - not hold it down! I am sure Dolphin didn't intend to leave you in charge while she's gone!

But it's sweet of you to wish her luck. (uncharacteristically sweet...but nonetheless...)

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Jan 26, 2009, at 3:08 PM

Oh Maddie, I seem to have the same concerns that you have, only my children tell me to stop whining. Just wait till they get a little age on them. I resisted bifocals for at least a decade. My hair used to be several colors at the same time...now it's just dull old brown. I used to buy my shoes at a place called the Wild Pair. Now if they don't have something at Nearly Perfect then I go without. Hence, my choices in the closet are limited! I adore cotton and flannel. Nuff said. While I was watching my older kids grow up, I seem to have acquired way too many wrinkles to suit me! And you could start another blog about this ice storm! It sure is a good thing that we can blog away our troubles...or at least vent about them!! Hope you are doing well, Dolphin. I'm sending healthy vibes your way!

-- Posted by ct on Thu, Jan 29, 2009, at 3:56 PM

when i first blogged on to this site i thought i would hear of some home town news (or at least some news) all i hear is like a flash back to the late 60's when you happen to pick up on a party line on the phone. it's just a nonstop party line. i was hoping that since the new year has come maybe someone would start a blog on the real issues of home town people.

-- Posted by us traveler on Sat, Jan 31, 2009, at 8:32 AM

when i first blogged on to this site i thought i would hear of some home town news (or at least some news) all i hear is like a flash back to the late 60's when you happen to pick up on a party line on the phone. it's just a nonstop party line. i was hoping that since the new year has come maybe someone would start a blog on the real issues of home town people.

-- Posted by us traveler on Sat, Jan 31, 2009, at 8:44 AM
Madeline Dejournett's response:
U.S. Traveler, sorry about that, but check out my profile: I don't live in Dexter anymore. Haven't lived there since high school, so Dexter isn't REALLY my "beat" anymore - even though I maintain an active interest in my old hometown.

As for that lively blogger known as "Gonenow," her name says it all. She lives in another state now.

There's usually lots of information in the regular stories -- especially Noreen Hyslop's articles. She's the Statesman editor/writer, and she does a very good job, in my opinion.

Keep checking!

Thanks for all the good vibes and such. We have power back now, and I've been home since Wednesday trying to get better. I never realized surgery was such a rough process. I can't imagine how so many people actually VOLUNTEER to have what the good Lord has given them changed to suit America's idea of beautiful! I have a few complaints...but I will NEVER change the way I look. God Bless you all...hope more people get power tomorrow.

-- Posted by mrsdolphin on Sat, Jan 31, 2009, at 5:02 PM

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Madeline (Giles) DeJournett is the Advance writer for the North Stoddard Countian. A retired high school English/history teacher, she spent 32 years teaching in 5 schools in Missouri and Alaska. These days, she lives quietly with a menagerie of wild and domestic animals on 52 secluded acres in the remote Tillman hills south of Advance. She graduated from Dexter High School in 1960 and Southeast Missouri State in 1964. She can be contacted at advancensc@sbcglobal.net.
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