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Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Life in the Twilight Zone

Posted Thursday, May 7, 2009, at 10:44 AM

I once had a button I really liked - It said, "Of all the things I've ever lost, I think I miss my mind the most." That button really sums up my current mental status.

I misplace the usual things - my car keys, the TV remote, letters I'm going to mail, bills, the dog leashes, needles, scissors, my glasses - but the most frustrating item has me wondering if I'm truly entering the Twilight Zone of my life, in more ways than one...

Okay, here's how it went: I picked up the Advance senior photos for the NSC at the high school office. They were in a white, letter-sized envelope, fastened shut with a sticker.

I brought them to the NSC office, put them on my desk, and wrote: "Give to Josh" on front. I then put them into the big manila envelope, which I keep on my desk for the Dexter courier, who comes on Wednesday to deliver the weekly NSC. That's my day off, so I'm rarely here.

On Thursday, I had a message from Josh (in the composing room at Dexter). He said, "Madeline, where are the Advance senior pictures?"

Thus began a nightmare, which haunted me for four nights, as I searched my office, the trash, my car, everywhere in the tiny four-room facility. I did not search a back room, which is kept locked and belongs to the landlord. I use that only rarely, with his permission, when I feel a migraine coming on and need to stretch out on the floor. Since I never take anything in there with me, I felt no need to look there.

I should have.

The weekend passed, and I heard no more, but I felt sure they would have called me, if they had found the photos, so I still had recurrent nightmares in which I screwed up in every conceivable way. I even dreamed that the mayor was being sworn in at one of the parks, and he was assassinated! I was supposed to be covering it, but I was in the bathroom! Did you see the first "Bridget Jones" film -- the scene where she goes to get "ciggies," as the British call them and thinks she's missed a very important story? That's me -- only I had no Colin Firth to save me!

I came into the office Monday morning to find it was cold, and a carbon-monoxide sensor was beeping constantly. I went back to the thermostat, turned on the heat, and saw that the door to the back office hadn't latched properly. Opening the door to see if the beeping was coming from there, I saw it - the white envelope with the senior photos -- lying on the floor, just inside the door!

Criminitly! I told them at Dexter that I had sent it down with the courier! What the blue blazes was it doing still here, lying on the floor in the back room??? If I didn't put it in the manila folder, why is that memory so clear???

Yes, yes, there is only one explanation --- I have entered the TWILIGHT ZONE!!

..Or....what are the symptoms of carbon monoxide poisoning...?


Comments
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I LOVE the word ASSASSin! Love it!

-- Posted by shannonhoon on Sun, May 17, 2009, at 7:23 PM

Well...if that's the case Dexterite1 then maybe I really should get him a 'key finder thingy bob' to attach to the remote. Can't have him missing that! This just might be the perfect Father's Day gift for him!

-- Posted by fun2teach on Sun, May 10, 2009, at 8:07 PM

fun2teach, it could be coming to an end and he will never know it since he cant see it on tv.

-- Posted by Dexterite1 on Sat, May 9, 2009, at 12:56 PM

Oh, my goodness! I need one of those things for our TV remote! My husband acts as if the world is coming to an end when the remote goes missing!

-- Posted by fun2teach on Fri, May 8, 2009, at 2:03 PM

My son gave me a key finder thingy bob that he attached to my tv remote. It's supposed to beep when I whistle for it, but it beeps when I laugh, when I open the fireplace door, when someone screeches on tv (which is ALL the time), and when my dial up system for the computer does its thing. As a result, I often have to banish the remote to the laundry room when I have company!

Another good idea gone bad. But, at least I haven't lost the remote since the keyfinder has been taped to it.

-- Posted by goat lady on Fri, May 8, 2009, at 10:43 AM

Oooh, I remember that poster! Sad, sad, sad!

-- Posted by goat lady on Thu, May 7, 2009, at 8:27 PM

It could be much worse MD. Farah Fawcett's poster in the 70s graced untold bedroom walls. http://thepluripotent.com/wp-content/upl... At only 62 cancer is spreading through her body and she is bedridden. http://www.upi.com/Entertainment_News/20...

-- Posted by FJGuy on Thu, May 7, 2009, at 7:19 PM

MD, Lovebooks, et.al.....There is a syndrome out there which exhibits itself among those of us who may be subject to its' wanderings....CRS Syndrome, also known to the more commonfolk as "Can't Remember Squat", or whichever euphemistic variant you might wish to append to that descriptive!! And as for the Lovebooks, you just need to reduce your off-load, Child, take only those items which will fit in a small fanny pack, along with your cloth shopping bags, put your sunglasses up onto the top of your head and get after it!!!(Just make sure you have a spare car key in the old wallet) in case you are in the midst of a serious bout of CRS!!!and lock the car

before you grab the other necessities!!!MD, those senior pictures were subject to the wiles of a poltergeist, no other explanation abides herewith,

I've had those "moments" and there isn't a thing senior about them.......You just have to name the wisp, and occasionally thank them for their efforts to WAKE YOU THE HECK UP!!!....or they will sit in the corner of your mind and giggle at your discomposure!!!You ladies have fun with this, and as for you NoNo, the fifties were fun, and the sixties are looking pretty pleasing, so enjoy them YOUNG LADY!!!molater, kk

I

-- Posted by kkcaver47 on Thu, May 7, 2009, at 6:58 PM

Here's another one...you get out of the car to go into the store (or church, or party, etc.) You pick up your purse, you look at your sunglasses, you make sure you have your reading glasses, you get your keys...oh, and your shopping list because if you don't have that, you'll walk into the store and stand there with that blank Senior Citizen stare. Okay, you get out of the car. You have all this STUFF. You should have put your sunglasses in your purse, but you didn't. You should have put your keys in your purse, but you didn't. You walk into the store with three items in each hand, including the purse you could live out of for two days in a snowed-in airport. And no matter how organized I get myself before I leave for a shopping trip, when I get out of my car I look like someone dropped all these items in my arms and told me to RUN! Ahhhh, the 50's.

-- Posted by lovebooks on Thu, May 7, 2009, at 5:53 PM

Welcome to the 'over 60' club in which your life changes forever. There is no explanation for things that happened like those senior pictures, I blame the devil for a lot of unexplained happenings and that makes life easier. I have never been known to make a mistake or a bad decision so it couldn't be my fault. I carry a pocketful of notes reminding me of important names, phone numbers and appointments, Lord have mercy if I ever loose my papers. Be careful driving as you may not remember where you should be going. Shoulda kept your goats and little wagon.

-- Posted by Dexterite1 on Thu, May 7, 2009, at 12:52 PM

Colin Firth is HOT!

-- Posted by goat lady on Thu, May 7, 2009, at 12:48 PM


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Madeline DeJournett
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Madeline (Giles) DeJournett is the Advance writer for the North Stoddard Countian. A retired high school English/history teacher, she spent 32 years teaching in 5 schools in Missouri and Alaska. These days, she lives quietly with a menagerie of wild and domestic animals on 52 secluded acres in the remote Tillman hills south of Advance. She graduated from Dexter High School in 1960 and Southeast Missouri State in 1964. She can be contacted at advancensc@sbcglobal.net or by phone at 573-722-5322.
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