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Lessons from the CatPosted Thursday, July 23, 2009, at 8:22 AM
Princess Leya, who used to belong to my son & daughter-in-law, sleeps up high, far above the DeJournett dog pack.
Lessons from the Cat:
Everyone knows that cats are a breed unto themselves. Many people are either "Cat People" or "Dog People," but I am both. Therefore, this list. My sister has added to it.
* Keep your feet dry.
* Never turn your back on the dog. Dogs do not understand you.
* Get at least 18 hours of sleep each day.
* Sleep up high.
* If you purr, your human will let you do happy feet on her lap.
* Birds and mice are cute and fun to play with. They also taste good.
* Hummingbirds are darned near impossible to catch. That shouldn't stop you from trying, however. There's always hope.
* If visitors don't like you, just keep rubbing against them and purring. They'll come around eventually.
* If you see your human get out the carrier, hide! This probably means a trip to the vet, which cannot be a good thing, any way you look at it.
* When the bug man comes, hide in the basement under the canning shelves.
* You can never take too many naps.
* If you leave clumps of fur on your mom's new dress you'll get held down and brushed. This can either be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your personal preference.
* The top of the tv is a warm place to sleep, but easy to fall off of.
* Modern tv sets don't have enough room to curl up so pick the old one.
*The computer mouse doesn't taste good and isn't nearly as much fun to play with as the catnip variety.
* The toes of your Mom's shoes aren't good places to hide your catnip mice.
* If you go onto your mom's bed very early in the morning and bite her on the back of her upper arm, she'll get up and play chase with you.
* You can stare at your human's forehead for hours and they still won't understand you want to be fed. Humans are immune to feline telepathy.
* If you sit in the bathtub (or by the sink) and meow, your mom will give you fresh water. Fresh water tastes much better than what is in your bowl.
* NEVER go in the kitchen while your mom is fixing a big meal and is wearing pointy toed shoes.
* You can wake up the whole house by sitting just out of the dog's reach at any time of the night or early morning. Dogs are stupid; they fall for it every time and they always get blamed.
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Madeline (Giles) DeJournett is the Advance writer for the North Stoddard Countian. A retired high school English/history teacher, she spent 32 years teaching in 5 schools in Missouri and Alaska. These days, she lives quietly with a menagerie of wild and domestic animals on 52 secluded acres in the remote Tillman hills south of Advance. She graduated from Dexter High School in 1960 and Southeast Missouri State in 1964. She can be contacted at email@example.com.