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Monday, Dec. 22, 2014

Another "Men are from Mars" moment

Posted Monday, August 10, 2009, at 5:21 PM

Okay, girls, my sister-in-law sent me this little piece of women's wisdom today, and I just had to share it with you, even though some of you have probably seen it before.

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People--

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can never be pregnant.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. ("Lefty loosey, righty tighty.")

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks and engines.

A ten-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

I LOVE IT!!


Comments
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Good for you!!! Excellent...a new level of respect has just been earned..on top of those already there...and if you wanna say 'EWWWWWWW', then go for it...now if you (we) could just figure out a way for you and the wife to trade places.....it wouldn't be EWWWWWWW, but OUWWWWWWW...

-- Posted by BarbaraNTexas on Wed, Aug 19, 2009, at 5:00 PM

Ahhhh but I have Barb. Was there for my kids' "coming out" party too! I still say EWWWWWW!

-- Posted by greer958 on Wed, Aug 19, 2009, at 4:25 PM

But, we continue to do it because WE LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!

-- Posted by BarbaraNTexas on Wed, Aug 19, 2009, at 9:38 AM

Bobby, dear, dear, Bobby...have you ever accompanied your wife into that room and stayed for the exam? EWWWWWWW????? How 'bout the delivery room?????? Once a woman has been through there, there isn't much left that will make US go EWWWWWWW...right ladies?

-- Posted by BarbaraNTexas on Wed, Aug 19, 2009, at 9:37 AM

Hehehehe! I just love girl talk!!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Wed, Aug 19, 2009, at 8:48 AM

EWWWWWWW!

-- Posted by greer958 on Wed, Aug 19, 2009, at 8:01 AM

so very true, goat lady....so from now on, any time you have to assume the position in that room, just remember the poster....

-- Posted by BarbaraNTexas on Tue, Aug 18, 2009, at 2:26 PM

Not too much info, Texas! That poster would certainly make the trip to the GYN's office easier to tolerate! Face it - Not much fun happens in that room!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Tue, Aug 18, 2009, at 1:36 PM

Hahaha! Great postings, guys and dolls!

I especially love #8! It so fits my oldest brother!

Bobby, you may well be the perfect man! Hot -and secure enough to make fun of your own species!

-- Posted by goat lady on Tue, Aug 18, 2009, at 1:35 PM

I know this may be too much information for some of you, but I'll bet the ladies will appreciate it...on the ceiling of my GYN's exam room directly over the table so that you are looking up at it while in a prone position...well, you know the drill...there hangs a poster of a gingerbread man on a plate with the caption..."The perfect man, he's cute and sweet, but if he gives you any (&@% you can bite his head off."

-- Posted by BarbaraNTexas on Mon, Aug 17, 2009, at 4:04 PM

Bobbie, my man!! I don't consider myself in the She-Woman Man Haters Club any longer...I am trying to adjust my attitude, but I keep finding that men usually reinforce that attitude rather than help me to change it...but at least I am to the point that I no longer say I will never re-marry, but your #12 on the list is pretty close to what I've been saying for awhile now..my version is, "All the good ones are taken and the rest are single for a reason."

-- Posted by BarbaraNTexas on Mon, Aug 17, 2009, at 3:50 PM

Actually I am.....here are some more finer points for your She-Woman Man Hater's Club.....

Men are like....

1. Men are like Laxatives. They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Men are like Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are..

3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like Commercials . You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!

8. Men are like ...... Government Bonds ...... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like .... Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like Popcorn . They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

12. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

-- Posted by greer958 on Mon, Aug 17, 2009, at 3:39 PM

I'm sure you're not saying that with a straight face!

-- Posted by goat lady on Fri, Aug 14, 2009, at 2:15 PM

Oh Maddy....I always read your blogs.

Front page topic is pretty hot....but I'm not a gloater.

-- Posted by greer958 on Thu, Aug 13, 2009, at 3:53 PM

heh, heh, should I be honored or troubled that he is praying for me? In all honesty, we all can use a bit of prayer..and I am a very civil person..I consider us ALL friends here...I am enjoying getting to know you all...

-- Posted by BarbaraNTexas on Tue, Aug 11, 2009, at 5:02 PM

What a relief that you two -Dexterite and Texas - can be civil! Texas, Dexterite isn't usually sarcastic about prayer! He's never prayed for your unruly friend!

Greer - alias World's Sexiest Blogger - I'm surprised to see you reading someone else's blog, rather than gloating over that white hot mess you created on the front page!

-- Posted by goat lady on Tue, Aug 11, 2009, at 3:49 PM

Good stuff Maddy!

-- Posted by greer958 on Tue, Aug 11, 2009, at 11:51 AM

right back at ya', my friend..

-- Posted by BarbaraNTexas on Tue, Aug 11, 2009, at 11:37 AM

Done, and have a great day.

-- Posted by Dexterite1 on Tue, Aug 11, 2009, at 11:29 AM

Well, Dexterite, even if your adding me to your prayer list was done so out of sarcasm, that kind of list I don't have any problem with...I am Christian and over the last few years especially have really begun working on bettering my relationship with God...and I know full well that prayer does work..and there is no sarcasm or condescension intended in this....so, if you are a walking Christian, pray away.....

-- Posted by BarbaraNTexas on Tue, Aug 11, 2009, at 11:15 AM

See Barbara, I wasn't clear, it was my prayer 'list'. Reading and taking serious posts on the speak-out can blur your vision and make you troubled.

-- Posted by Dexterite1 on Tue, Aug 11, 2009, at 10:54 AM

What list? the government watch list? for speaking my mind? I will defend to the death my AND YOUR right to do so...we can agree or not agree on issues...but in this country, so far at least, we still have the right of free speech...and one of the best things about that is that even though I may have a strong opinion about something doesn't mean that, if given evidence strong enough, that I might change my views...perhaps I had incorrect information when I formed my opinion or insufficient information...see where I'm going with this? It's all good...

-- Posted by BarbaraNTexas on Tue, Aug 11, 2009, at 10:37 AM

GL, that was a nice article in the Kennett newspaper, isn't it nice to see Missourians can still be civil.

Barbara, I thought you were referring to a remark made when I was gonna add you to a 'list'. Sorry, no offense taken.

-- Posted by Dexterite1 on Tue, Aug 11, 2009, at 9:54 AM

NO, NO Dexterite...that was NOT meant for you...it was in reference to the MSNBC Interviewer....who was so rude as to keep interrupting and wouldn't let the other guy finish...sorry bout the misunderstanding..I should've been more clear when I posted that comment...

-- Posted by BarbaraNTexas on Tue, Aug 11, 2009, at 9:26 AM

Was never paranoid until I met some 'loonies', oh well as long as we're having fun and nobody gets hurt. Even though I was told I needed to be taken behind the woodshed from a Texan.

-- Posted by Dexterite1 on Tue, Aug 11, 2009, at 8:26 AM

Haha, you're getting paranoid, dexterite! I wonder why? Could it be that we get attacked every time we post even the most innocent remark?

Surely, we can occasionally be allowed to have a little fun. (My husband's voice echoes in my mind: "No, you can't, and don't call me 'Shirley'!")

I love this list: It's so true! There are such different expectations for the genders! No matter how old Sean Connery or Clint Eastwood get, the movie studios keep casting them opposite younger and younger women!

-- Posted by goat lady on Tue, Aug 11, 2009, at 6:59 AM

See there, that's the reason we chose our gender when we were conceived!!!!

Don't spend too much time contemplating the above statement, or perhaps not at all.

-- Posted by Dexterite1 on Mon, Aug 10, 2009, at 6:46 PM


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Madeline DeJournett
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Madeline (Giles) DeJournett is the Advance writer for the North Stoddard Countian. A retired high school English/history teacher, she spent 32 years teaching in 5 schools in Missouri and Alaska. These days, she lives quietly with a menagerie of wild and domestic animals on 52 secluded acres in the remote Tillman hills south of Advance. She graduated from Dexter High School in 1960 and Southeast Missouri State in 1964. She can be contacted at advancensc@sbcglobal.net or by phone at 573-722-5322.