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Kids say the Darndest Things!

Posted Thursday, September 3, 2009, at 9:17 PM

Years ago, Art Linkletter had a television program in which he asked children questions, and they gave him the cutest answers! I recently received an e-mail from my sister, and it reminded me of Linkletter's old show. This one especially hit home, since it was about teachers and students.

I taught high school, and I always looked with awe upon the elementary teachers who could work with the little ones. They would troop over to the high school like little ducks, single-file behind their teachers. They looked SO CUTE, but then their teacher would roll her eyes, and I knew they weren't as adorable as they looked!!

One of our high school teachers taught elementary music one year (back in the days before the State frowned on that sort of across-the-curriculum sort of teaching) and she related a cute experience she had in a kindergarten class.

The wee ones filed into class, and the teacher said, "Take your seats, children!"

You guessed it! They all picked up their chairs and waited for instructions!

Kiddisms from My Sister:

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria.


TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.


TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'


TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.


TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?


TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.


TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.



TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.


TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '

MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'


TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.


TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.


TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.


TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher.

(Uh, Oh! Maybe that one isn't too funny, guys!)

So, do these cute little stories make me miss the classroom....??? Ah, I don't think so! Memories are sweet, but that's just what they are....memories!

From the dark and cool hills of the Tillman Outback, this is your rural reporter, finally home from all my meetings and looking forward to a house full of family for Labor Day! (And no lesson plans for Tuesday!!!!)

Showing comments in chronological order
[Show most recent comments first]

Enjoy your weekend and I know it wont be necessary to pray before eating.

-- Posted by Dexterite1 on Fri, Sep 4, 2009, at 12:26 PM

A funny high school question after reading Edgar Allan Poe's, "The Raven". Remember that the Raven speaks to the narrator, "Nevermore." One little doll raised her hand to ask, "Is that a true story?" The entire class, which was trained early on that we don't laugh AT anyone, and that there are no silly questions, remained quiet. Some, however, were literally shaking in their seats. It was pretty hard for me, too. I know I had to have smiled as I answered her question!

-- Posted by GONENOW on Sun, Sep 6, 2009, at 6:36 PM

We had the same sort of thing once in, I believe, a sophomore class, when I told them to hand their test papers in alphabetically. One girl asked if that was alphabetical by first name or last name.

Also had a cute experience my first year of teaching, when a student read his lines "Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me Caesar's ears..."

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Sep 7, 2009, at 8:10 PM

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Madeline DeJournett
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Madeline (Giles) DeJournett is the Advance writer for the North Stoddard Countian. A retired high school English/history teacher, she spent 32 years teaching in 5 schools in Missouri and Alaska. These days, she lives quietly with a menagerie of wild and domestic animals on 52 secluded acres in the remote Tillman hills south of Advance. She graduated from Dexter High School in 1960 and Southeast Missouri State in 1964. She can be contacted at advancensc@sbcglobal.net.
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