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Leggo my Eggo!

Posted Thursday, November 19, 2009, at 6:39 PM

Only one box of the popular Eggo waffles remains on the shelves at Town & Country in Advance. According to the latest news, Kellogg is rationing its Eggo products because of flooding at its Atlanta bakery.

Children across America in a Panic

It has come to our attention here in the busy offices of the North Stoddard Countian that a critical shortage of those life-sustaining Eggo waffles has gripped the nation! Frantic mothers are posting urgent messages on the popular social network Facebook, asking for help in finding emergency breakfast material for their starving youngsters!

"Help! Help! My children won't eat anything but Eggos! What am I to do?" one distraught mother posted.

Kellogg rationing Eggo products

According to a memo from Kellogg, heavy rains in October flooded one of their bakeries in Atlanta, forcing the company to shut down production temporarily. To compound the problem, Kellogg's largest waffle facility, based in Rossville, Tenn., needs "extensive repairs," so it is unable to step up to meet this emergency.

Many Eggo retailers are unaware of the problem.

"Well, I knew I hadn't been getting Eggos, but I had no idea that there was a shortage," said Donnie Overby, who handles the ordering at Town & Country in Advance.

Reports indicate that the shortage may last until mid-2010, which will certainly leave dependent children in a sad state of affairs, if they do not broaden their culinary habits.

"That don't affect me!" said one visitor to the NSC office this morning. "We have chickens!"

Mothers of Missouri, you see the path ahead of you. The solution is crystal clear. You must fix up a little pen out in your back yard and raise your own Eggos! Your children can learn good habits by caring for these productive feathered fowl, while harvesting the rewards of fresh country (or city) eggs!

Yes, yes, there will be a certain capital investment necessary: 1 roll chicken wire, eight 6 ft. two x fours, a hammer (which you no doubt already have), some staples or nails, and a house for some sort for protection.

And, yes, there will be the issue of zoning restrictions, if you live in the city. This problem, however, is easily solved by converting that extra bedroom into a chicken coop. The authorities need never know of your perky little pecking pets.

If you decide to get a cute little rooster, you will have the added benefit of a most energetic and original alarm clock! Some authorities also feel that fertilized eggs are more nutritious. And we all know that roosters make a lovely fashion statement for the home, as they are very "in" this year. I myself recently bought a fine ceramic rooster on sale at Hobby Lobby for 66% off the regular price.

All in all ----- I feel this is the perfect answer to a problem which appears to have no short term solution.

From the distant hills of rural Tillman, Mo., this is your downtown reporter Madeline, endeavoring to spread the joys of country living to the mothers of America!

Showing comments in chronological order
[Show most recent comments first]

I read just this morning that pumpkin pie is in trouble this year, too! Seems that Nestle's pumpkin fields in Illinois are too muddy for them to get the pumpkins out.

What is this world coming to????

-- Posted by goat lady on Fri, Nov 20, 2009, at 10:51 AM

Yep, there's a 4 can limit on cans of pumpkin at Harp's.

-- Posted by lovebooks on Fri, Nov 20, 2009, at 6:36 PM

Oh no! No Eggos for breakfast on Thanksgiving morning and NO PUMPKIN PIE!!!!! That's positively un-American. Heaven forbid that I should make waffles and pumpkin pie from scratch. Actually, one year I did buy a pie pumpkin and make a pie from scratch. It was one heck of a lot of work and didn't taste nearly as good.

-- Posted by mokath52 on Fri, Nov 20, 2009, at 11:19 PM

I did that too - long, long, long ago! It turned out much more watery than a pie made from commercial pumpkin.

Definitely not worth the effort!

Fortunately, I have about three cans of pumpkin hoarded up in my kitchen cabinet -- but I'm still traveling elsewhere for Thanksgiving, so it'll stay there for awhile!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sat, Nov 21, 2009, at 7:35 AM

So gl, the truth comes out, you've been hoarding all the pumpkin!!!!

-- Posted by Dexterite1 on Sat, Nov 21, 2009, at 10:49 PM

Haha! I guess it's a good thing nobody knows where I live -- They'd break in to steal my pumpkin!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Nov 22, 2009, at 6:36 AM

Home made waffles are yummy! I managed to come away from our Christmas Party at work last year with my very own waffle maker. We haven't purchased waffles at the store since.

-- Posted by fun2teach on Sun, Nov 22, 2009, at 10:05 AM

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Madeline DeJournett
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Madeline (Giles) DeJournett is the Advance writer for the North Stoddard Countian. A retired high school English/history teacher, she spent 32 years teaching in 5 schools in Missouri and Alaska. These days, she lives quietly with a menagerie of wild and domestic animals on 52 secluded acres in the remote Tillman hills south of Advance. She graduated from Dexter High School in 1960 and Southeast Missouri State in 1964. She can be contacted at advancensc@sbcglobal.net.
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