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Living on the fringePosted Monday, November 8, 2010, at 9:26 AM
Here you see a portion of the technological marvels which occupy a spot of favor in the DeJournett household: satellite, VCR, DVD, and (wonder of all wonders!) a 42-inch television! Now maybe I can read subtitles and the menu!
My life has taken a pleasant turn this year, so I admit to being a little distracted. After 13 years as a widow, I have met a wonderful man, who is laboring to jettison me into 21st Century technology.
Those of you who have been reading my blogs and columns will be disappointed to learn the secret of my pathetic existence out here in the isolated hills of Tillman. My techno skills are about as primitive as my life at the edge of civilization.
At the risk of losing all sense of self-respect, I am going to post a partial list of things I can and cannot do:
1. Program my VCR! The machine is almost extinct, and I still don't know how to program it or keep the time from blinking! We just discovered that the clock was last programmed on Sept. 12, 2000. That's probably when I bought the contraption! And, yes, I still watch VCR tapes! All my Jane Austin movies are on VCR. By the time I switch to DVD, something new will come along, and those little round disk thingies will be obsolete!
2. Deal with numbers! I hate them with a purple passion! This, of course, means that I have never, in all my life, balanced my checkbook. If I get within $100 of the bank's figures, I count myself quite efficient. For this reason, I LOVE the on-line bank account, which I can check as many times as I please. No more bounced checks!
3. I finally gave up on Word Perfect and had my computer guru in Advance (Todd Mayberry at Blue Chalk Software - a little plug there for my boy!) install MicroSoft Word. Now I can send documents to the techno-savvy members of my library board. (Believe it or not, we still have about two members who can't check email.)
4. I love email! So HANDY to get messages from around the world - and in written form, so there's no misunderstanding.
5. I love the cell phone! I keep it in my pocket, so I can get a charge when it plays my song - "I'm so Excited!" by the Pointer Sisters.
6. I cannot do metric conversion. Wasn't everyone in the United States supposed to be converted to the metric system by a certain year? What was that year anyway? I think it came and went - and then someone in high places admitted that it was never gonna happen.
7. My new Best Friend Forever points out that I cannot count to 500 forwards and backwards. (Why would I want to??)
8. I can no longer keep track of all the Jeep models! I have a 2001 Jeep Cherokee Classic - and I refuse to buy a later model, because they changed the body styles. Now there's the old Liberty, the new Liberty, the Grand Cherokees, the Compass, the Commander, the Wrangler, the Rubicon.... In reality, it would do no good for me to be able to keep them straight, as I can't afford to buy one, anyway!
I could probably come up with a bunch more examples, but you get the idea!
From the golden backwoods of Tillman, Missouri, this is your down home country reporter Madeline, living on the edge of the 21st Century.
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Madeline (Giles) DeJournett is the Advance writer for the North Stoddard Countian. A retired high school English/history teacher, she spent 32 years teaching in 5 schools in Missouri and Alaska. These days, she lives quietly with a menagerie of wild and domestic animals on 52 secluded acres in the remote Tillman hills south of Advance. She graduated from Dexter High School in 1960 and Southeast Missouri State in 1964. She can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.