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The dog ate my homework!Posted Monday, October 10, 2011, at 10:21 AM
My friend Laverne recently gave me a list of actual excuse notes that parents have written for their children. As a 32-year veteran of the public school system, I find these notes hilarious, bewildering and completely believable! We talk about the deficiencies in our current educational system, but I think this list reveals the reason for some of these problems!
* My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
* Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
* Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28,29,30,32, and also 33.
* Please excuse Gloria From Jim today. She is administrating.
* Please excuse Roland from P>E> for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
* John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
* Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
* Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
* Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
* Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
* Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre)(dyrea)(direathe) the sh*ts. Words in the brackets had been crossed out.
*Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
* Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
* Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
* I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.
* Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. This is my personal favorite! Can you imagine what it's like to live in this household??
*Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
* My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
* Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
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Madeline (Giles) DeJournett is the Advance writer for the North Stoddard Countian. A retired high school English/history teacher, she spent 32 years teaching in 5 schools in Missouri and Alaska. These days, she lives quietly with a menagerie of wild and domestic animals on 52 secluded acres in the remote Tillman hills south of Advance. She graduated from Dexter High School in 1960 and Southeast Missouri State in 1964. She can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org or by phone at 573-722-5322.