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Sunday, Oct. 26, 2014

20 Adult Truths

Posted Thursday, December 1, 2011, at 10:56 AM

(Photo)
Okay, so this photo of the Castor River landing has nothing to do with today's blog. I couldn't find a picture that DID fit, and I can't stand posting a blog with no photo!
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men (and women) are created equal...

This morning, one of my old teacher friends sent me a new post from the gods of the internet--and I found myself laughing at how many of them SO fit me! I just had to share. How do people think up stuff like this?

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my 10-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

15. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

16. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

17. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

18. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever!

19. Even under ideal conditions, people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and pinning the tail on the donkey--but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

20. The first tentacular guard, the "Cup," was used in hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Ladies...quit laughing!

From the cold, sunny streets of downtown Advance, this is your multi-talented rural reporter, Madeline, tottering--as usual--on the precarious brink of raging senility.


Comments
Showing comments in chronological order
[Show most recent comments first]

#20....seems it takes awhile for men to realize what is important.

-- Posted by Dexterite1 on Fri, Dec 2, 2011, at 5:36 AM

I like #10 and #14--I could sure use that "avoid ghetto" app on my GPS, when I go to Memphis! Some BAD places down there!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Fri, Dec 2, 2011, at 6:10 AM


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Madeline DeJournett
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Madeline (Giles) DeJournett is the Advance writer for the North Stoddard Countian. A retired high school English/history teacher, she spent 32 years teaching in 5 schools in Missouri and Alaska. These days, she lives quietly with a menagerie of wild and domestic animals on 52 secluded acres in the remote Tillman hills south of Advance. She graduated from Dexter High School in 1960 and Southeast Missouri State in 1964. She can be contacted at advancensc@sbcglobal.net or by phone at 573-722-5322.
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