There and back: A Blogger's Tale
I have returned from Memphis, which our blogger buddy Yellow Rose referred to as "the armpit of the South." My sister, one brother, and I traveled 372 miles through 100+ temperatures to visit my daughter and her boyfriend, and I will share my observations on that "arm-pitty" southern city. I'm sure Yellow Rose will be disappointed with some of my observations, as my daughter seemed determined to show me the less seamy side of the armpit...
What I learned in the armpit:
Once the temps reach 100, it really doesn't matter how much hotter it gets. Hot is just hot.
Arkansas is FLAT, FLATTER, AND FLATTEST.
If you don't get gas in Sikeston, you're screwed.
There is a total lack of civilized habitation between Sikeston and Memphis.
100 degrees is HOT.
At seventy miles per hour, you will be passed by every vehicle on the road, including 4 guys in a Ford Expedition so loaded with camping gear that they couldn't see out the back, and so much gear stowed on top that it wobbled from side to side in the wind.
The trip down was 372 miles.
The trip back was 732 miles.
There is a conspicuous absense of armadillo carcasses on I-55 south to Memphis. (Must be the cougars, who come out at night and eat them..)
We counted 742 strips of old tires from 18-wheeler blow outs between Memphis and Sikeston.
My sister and I could probably not afford the trash containers in Harbor Town, much less a house.
The University of Memphis has a nice campus, but not as nice as Semo's.
100 degrees is HOT.
Vegetarians CAN find a place to eat in a city known for its barbecue.
Old people can enjoy Beale Street as a drive-by.
McDonalds is well-protected by both State, County, and local law-enforcement.
Memphis is undoubtedly the traffic light capital of the United States.
They don't sell Hurricanes at the Piggley Wiggley.
But above all, Dorothy was right......"There's noplace like home!"
My thanks to all my blogger buddies for taking time out from a major blog battle to meet us at the Missouri-Arkansas border for a gigantic Welcome Home party! I recognized you all instantly! There was goat lady in her black bolero with her lime green go go boots, Minnie in her Cher pants, Cake Lady with the ever-present rose in her teeth, Yellow Rose with a bright yellow Essex Tent and Awning shirt, and a somewhat serious, sullen-looking man I took to be Mr. I.B. LeTruth.
Though we all refrained from partaking in Cake's sweet-looking little Debbies with the happy faces, we dined on a wide assortment of sundry melons, supplied by Ducky and Mr. Truthy.
Thank you all for a warm welcome which I shall never forget! Good friends and good wine only get better with time. Which reminds me to thank our happy blogger, bringwine, for doing just that! Nothing beats chilled wine on a 108 degree day!!
Signing off from the cool hills of Tillman, Misouri...this is your North Stoddard Countian reporter, Madeline
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That's not all! Your mention of the yellow lights reminds me that Memphisonians have another very irritating traffic quirk -- They drive out across the intersection and STOP crossways in the middle!! I could not believe it! My brother David kept yelling, "WATCH OUT!!!" all the way out of Memphis!!
As for the packs of yellow labs, that would explain why they can blend into the scenery so much better than the big cats! When a motorist comes by, they can pretend to be a stray and, thus, invisible!
As for admitting that our muggy weather is better than that of the southern climes, I have no trouble with that admission!!
Dorothy and Toto had it right -- except for the Kansas part....
It all seems to be floating around my head in a fog.... a foggy blog?? A blog fog??
Perhaps another time!! However, I find it difficult to believe that a vegetarian could have gained all the weight that Elvis was sporting at the end..
I particularly enjoyed all the Elvis look-alikes, who sang ...ah..Blue Suede Shoes?? (Now I don't remember..) He said that the ...authorities (?) at Graceland have finally given in to popular demand and are sponsoring an Elvis contest. So I'm sure we'll hear more about this.
Rusty Nail, I think you're making that up about your wife....but if you aren't, good for you!
Those of you who get the NSC got to see today's picture of my friend Emma's little goat in the creative headgear that her husband designed! Cute, cute, cute! He fixed a piece of wood onto the goat's horns with radiator hose clamps!! It works like a charm!
ElFreda added a cute headline: "Could this be a reindeer in training?"