I am my mother

Posted Saturday, July 14, 2007, at 2:29 PM

I caught myself spit-shining the face of my granddaughter today. I am my mother.

And the other day I saw some high school aged girls out at a restaurant and thought a couple of them could use about five more inches on the hem of their skirts and I do believe they forgot to change out of their full slips on top. (Now there's a memory for you…"full slips", which were worn over bras and at least in the case of our mothers,over GIRDLES and NYLONS!!!) Anyway, I had second thoughts about these girls after going WAY back to my 60's and recalling what we used to wear. The skirts left almost nothing to the imagination, and the platform shoes worn with them only accentuated the theme. And if we were really feeling "with the times," we'd go braless, which would explain why there were more black eyes and upper body stretch marks during that era. And I can't recall the name for one item of attire that is just the most ludicrous thing when I think about it now, but it consisted of a giant toe ring of sorts, and extending from it was a brown leather strap that extended around the foot and over the ankle area. There was no sole, for God's sake, just a ring with a leather band around that came full circle around the ankle and we wore them for shoes, actually walking in public places, among the spit and dog crap and God only knows what else. And we never complained of the 120 degree asphalt beneath our "bare" feet. But we did it in the name of "cool." They were just TOO cool, as was the black-black eyeliner and the sky-blue shadow and the go-go boots, when protection of the soles was merited or when the elements insisted. And the giant brush "curlers" that we actually didn't mind wearing downtown to shop around. As I recall, they were kind of a status thing. Wearing them into town on a Saturday afternoon told everyone that you must have a special date Saturday night! If I saw someone today in town with those metal things all wired to their head, I believe I'd call 911.

What I'd give to have those braless, 12" long skirt, soles-of-my-feet burning days back! Only, the old body would have to come with the deal.

I'm thinking that turning into my mother might not be such a bad thing

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Oh, Ducky!! I do believe the chocolate food group is the one that calls to me in the night, "Goat lady!! Goat lady!!"

Or is the coyotes, yearning after a bit of goat meat????

-- Posted by goat lady on Tue, Jul 24, 2007, at 9:29 PM

You've forgotten the CHOCOLATE food group. Just drizzle a little chocolate sauce on it and you'd have every food group known to man (or woman).

I'm trying to be a vegetarian, but sometimes those animal faces just keep calling to me in the night, "Ducky, Ducky."

-- Posted by Ducky on Tue, Jul 24, 2007, at 9:22 PM

Is there any doubt that carrot cake contains all the necessary ingredients for a healthy diet???

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Tue, Jul 24, 2007, at 7:45 PM

Minne O'Pausal's response:

No doubt at all in my mind. You have all your basic food groups...dairy in the icing, cereal in the wheat flour, poultry in the eggs, fruit in the strawberries I'm going to top it off with (right next to the dairy group Cool Whip) and of course, carrots to clean up the veggie group. Have I forgotten a group...is there a sugar group? Unless I'm mistaken, pizza also covers all recommended food groups, perhaps even exceeding their 100% allowance recommendations, and isn't that a good thing?

Well, I believe that bra story just about tops off that topic, Ducky, dear! I don't believe any of us are gonna be able to trump your Himalaya episode!

So, girls, just how many of you are veganites? ..... Okay....now, how many are vegetarianites? .....And, carnivores???

Oh, come, now....You can tell us...We're all anonymous here....

With names like ducky, goat lady, garden girl (Where is she, anyway?), Minnie O'Pausal, and letseatcake, surely we have some interestingly deviant eating habits.....

-- Posted by goat lady on Tue, Jul 24, 2007, at 6:07 PM

Yes, not to brag, but if I had burned my bra it WOULD have been a conflagration. A regular 5 alarm fire. Hahahaha. Not really, that would have been the bra of my friend who could hold soooooo many pencils. She and I were outside the dorm in our swimsuits sunning one day when some guys walked by and said "oh my gosh, it looks like the Himalayas." or words to that effect. Now I would flaunt it, but back then it embarassed me so much we went back into the dorm.

Poor little baby duck.

-- Posted by Ducky on Mon, Jul 23, 2007, at 8:26 PM

So, Ducky, is it fair to say that the ensuing bra fire could be called a CONFLAGRATION??

Too bad - You'd have made a really big hit in those demonstrations. They could have saved a bunch of bras by using yours and mine to set New York on fire!

(Provided I would ever get caught dead in New York....No offense to our new blogger participant....Oh, well, he's a guy, so he probably got bored with this conversation a long time ago...)

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Jul 23, 2007, at 8:19 PM

No, I never burned my bra - remember, I didn't pass the pencil test. I never streaked, either. Talk about two black eyes, gl.

-- Posted by Ducky on Mon, Jul 23, 2007, at 8:13 PM

I know the feeling, qglenellyn! Minnie and the cake lady move too fast for me, too!! That's what happens when we try to keep up with clones!!

They're a tag team!

However, Minnie may slow down a bit, now that she's spackled the cracks in her face and painted it over with enamel... What cost we pay for beauty, girls!

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Jul 23, 2007, at 7:30 PM

Wow! I go away for a while and look what I miss! bra burning, tamper-proof undies, goat cloning, Listerine coffee and the pencil test!!! I better stick around!

-- Posted by qglenellyn on Sun, Jul 22, 2007, at 8:47 PM

Minne O'Pausal's response:

You better! And while you're at it, brush up on your veganite skills.

AHA!!! Another blog that's dead in the water! That's what happens when we get so far off the original topic, girls!!!

One minute we're talking fun fashion, and the next - we're off in left field somewhere!

Back to the real issues, girlfriends!

So, Minnie, you never did answer my searing question - Did you ever burn your bra in public when you were young???

Answer me that, oh ye honest-to-a-fault child of the 60's!!!

How about you, Ducky?????

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Jul 22, 2007, at 8:46 AM

Minne O'Pausal's response:

GT..

No bra burning for me..are you kidding?... that would have meant my mother would have had to buy me another one and used her jumbo or cracked or worse, the pullet stamp again. Didn't want to chance it! I think I did actually burn a few old ones in the burning barrell back by the apple orchard, but it was only because there were not others to hand them down to and I (finally) outgrew them...does that constitute the making of a rebel of the 60's? I don't think anyone was watching, and as I recall, they went up in smoke with a few empty Old Gold packs and a Herman's Hermits record...oh, my, I think I WAS a rebel!

I can see why you'd like to claim her - She's a jewel! A jewel in the rough! She thinks what I think before I think it!

-- Posted by goat lady on Thu, Jul 19, 2007, at 8:45 PM

We can't be twins (much as I would love to claim so) - my mother never stamped an undie.

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Thu, Jul 19, 2007, at 8:49 AM

Minne O'Pausal's response:

Some mothers just didn't have the organizational skills and resources that mine did, I'm afraid. Another odd thing has come to mind that she did, but in actuality, I believe that it was quite innovative for the times. She used to make coffee in something called a Filtron. She would put the grounds in some sort of system (non electric) that slowly dripped the coffee extract into a big jar, like a gallon container. After several hours of this, she would then pour this coffee extract or concentrate,into used Listerine bottles (she used several, so all of us must have had really good breath). She'd refrigerate the Listerine bottles and use one shot glass full (OK, maybe she was using the shot glass for something else the night she egg stamped the bras)of the concentrate per cup of hot water for a cup of coffee. Everyone always raved about how good her coffee was. I searched the net recently and you can still order this device. Odd, but true, as are many things regarding my childhood, as I'm discovering. Why, I thought everyone had "cracked" or "jumbo" or "pullet" stamped into their undies. Learn something new each day.

Twins, I swear, cake lady! You and Minnie are twins!! Tamper-proof undies!!

Hey, notice if you pronounce that wrong, it's "un-dies"?? Morbid! No wonder English is so hard to learn!

-- Posted by goat lady on Wed, Jul 18, 2007, at 10:43 PM

Your mother does sound like a hoot, Minnie, but look on the bright side. If she had been in the pharmaceutical business you might have been wearing undies that said tamper-proof!!!

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Wed, Jul 18, 2007, at 8:33 PM

You've got the right blog, except for the clone part. That's on one of Sasha's blogs. However, we've been bringing the clone theme into pretty much every other blog, I notice...

Thus, the confusion. Still, I like it! I like it a lot!! Hehehehehehe!!

I think I'm having too much fun.....

-- Posted by goat lady on Wed, Jul 18, 2007, at 7:13 PM

Perhaps your sisters were clones and bra stamping was the only way for your mother to tell you apart. Or am I getting my blogs confused? Just a thought...

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Wed, Jul 18, 2007, at 1:15 PM

Had my grandsons over for a couple of hours yesterday. When my daughter arrived to pick them up, #1 child threw a fit and screemed and yelled as she put him in the car. Daughter turned to me while wrestling him into his seat and said "Don't even say it! I know just what you're thinking". Ah, sweet revenge.

-- Posted by qglenellyn on Tue, Jul 17, 2007, at 11:11 AM

Minne O'Pausal's response:

I just take all the screaming and ranting upon departure from Grandam's as a compliment. Just means I've done a good job of pleasing them, and isn't that what it's all about!

Oh, I love the pencil story!! I just tested it and ran out of pencils at ten!!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Tue, Jul 17, 2007, at 7:33 AM

Minnie, I loved the pullet story. Your mother must have been a hoot.

Going braless was just "in" while I was in college. The news was all about women burning their bras. In the dorm we read in a magazine that you could tell if you could go braless by seeing if you could hold a pencil under your breast. If not, you could go braless. Nothing would do but to get out the pencils. Several of the girls met the criteria and could spend the rest of the summer in relative comfort. That darned pencil stayed firmly under my breast so I was doomed. The last girl held 7 (SEVEN) pencils. No, her name wasn't Pamela Anderson. I heard from her many years later - after the breast reduction surgery to save her back. ouch.

I remember that my paternal grandmother never left the house without her hat and gloves. My mom and elder sister wore hats and gloves, but only to church. For the longest time you just couldn't find hats in the stores any more. Now they're back and they're just beautiful. Wouldn't you know it - when I put one on I still feel like a little kid playing dress-up. Darn it.

I caught myself getting on to the kids a while back by saying "no rough-housing in the house. It always leads to bloodshed." Total shock. I opened my mouth and my mom popped out. There's probably no greater compliment to our moms.

Just be glad that your mom didn't curse YOU by saying "I hope you have a kid someday that's JUST LIKE YOU."

-- Posted by Ducky on Mon, Jul 16, 2007, at 11:03 PM

Goat lady...you could clone your goats, then stamp them jumbo, extra large, large, medium and pullet to tell them apart! Goodness, I think I just posted this same message on another blog...fogive me, my husband's been ill.

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Mon, Jul 16, 2007, at 10:52 PM

Oh, my gosh! Minnie, you and I posted at exactly the same time!! And I have to admit that your "pullet story" trumps my pretzel feet story!!

Hahahahahahaha!

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Jul 16, 2007, at 8:51 PM

Okay, girls - new variation on the remember-how-we-dressed-back-then theme: How many of you totally ruined your feet (or any other part of your anatomy) wearing something fashionable -- like those stilhetto (oh, darn, I can't even spell it, much less wear it!!) heels???

Well, I have a theory. The condition of my feet at my present age (never mind what that is) is directly proportional to the attempts I made as a young lady to look good for the opposite sex!

Am I right? Why do women bother to wear those high heels that absolutely wreck their feet and back, I ask you?

MEN! That's why! Therefore, it's all their fault that our feet look like pretzels and our backs go out more than we do!

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Jul 16, 2007, at 8:48 PM

Hey Minnie - your mom sounds like one wild and crazy woman!!! Must be where you get your writing talent. So tell us - do you chase fire engines and collect eggs - or whatever an "egglady" does?

-- Posted by qglenellyn on Mon, Jul 16, 2007, at 7:37 PM

Minne O'Pausal's response:

I've been known to chase a fire engine or two in my lifetime, but have never been so unfortunate as to chase one for miles, only to find that its destination was my own driveway, as my dearly departed mother once did. And, I cannot believe one wouldn't know from whence the term, "Egglady" derives. Picture it...a third grader in uniform from a Catholic school, being picked up after school by her mother, alias, "The Egglady," in a little red Isetta, no doubt "borrowed" from a sibling, packed to the brim in what little rear it had, with dozens and dozens of eggs, ready to go door to door (with my help) and deliver to destinations unknown. They came in all sizes, including small, medium, large, extra large, jumbo and then not a size exactly, but rather a determining factor, "cracked," each depicted by a stamp stating so. There was even a "Pullet' stamp for eggs that were barely eggs. Therein lies the tale of the "Egglady." AND NOW, the rest of the story....

Seeing as how there were five (count 'em FIVE) teenaged girls in the house at one time and seeing as how they all were endowed enough (though not amply) to each require the wearing of a brassiere, and having determined that each required an identification of some degree to distinguish one's bra from another's,(so as not to incite a brawl should a certain bra end up in the not-so-rightful owner's drawer), this resourceful mother of mine proceeded one day to label each, so as not to "mix them up." And what better way than to "stamp" them with the already produced egg carton labeling stamps. From extra large to small, we each received a distinguishing stamp. I am grateful to this day that I wasn't labeled, "Pullet." True story. Could I possibly make this up?

Ah, you go, gardengirl!!

My gloves were always white. I'd have killed for color co-ordinated gloves and shoes!! I don't remember seeing any in Dexter during those years; in fact, I don't remember where we bought our gloves....

But, I'll tell you, Minnie: You're a sight younger than I am, if you ever went braless!! Scandalous!! I'll bet you were in my younger sister's generation, when they BURNED their bras!! Heavens to Betsy! That's a pure waste of money, honey!

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Jul 16, 2007, at 5:36 PM

This is all too funny; I wanted to talk about those gloves and hats, and somebody beat me to it! I remember pastel gloves and matching color shoes for church. And yes, I recognize my mother in myself more and more.

-- Posted by gardengirl on Mon, Jul 16, 2007, at 11:23 AM

I would never lie about goats!!!

But four husbands....??? C'mon, cake lady, that seems too good (or too bad??) to be true!

On second thought, if she stuffed them with cake, maybe it IS believable!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Jul 15, 2007, at 3:11 PM

Minne O'Pausal's response:

One can only hope that letseatcake had ample insurance policies on all four (or is it five?) late spouses, and that each had a hearty pension plan. Go Cake Lady!

Oh these blogs are SO funny! Kinda makes you wonder though...does the goat lady REALLY have goats? Is the cake lady fat? Will a fifth (or sixth!) husband appear? Does Le Truth ever lie? Will Minnie find her markers? And - milk on cake?? Gosh! This is better than As the World Turns!

-- Posted by qglenellyn on Sun, Jul 15, 2007, at 2:05 PM

Hahahahaha!! No, I never drew seams on the back of my legs, but I remember how hard the real ones were to get straight. Remember those old movies, where Betty Grable drove all the men mad by looking back over her shoulder to check her seams? Sexy stuff!

I loved wearing a hat and white gloves to church when I was a teen! Mom and I always looked so sharp! You should see what they're wearing to our church nowadays!!! I would be mortified to be seen in some of those get-ups, even if I weighed 115 again!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Jul 15, 2007, at 7:08 AM

Oh Minnie, I can totally relate...why we could be long-lost sisters! And goat lady, I have a full slip in my drawer too! I do miss wearling my hats and white gloves...and do either of you remember "drawing" seams on the back of your legs when you didn't have nylons? (In my case they were probably "borrowed" by my siblings). Oh the good old days.

-- Posted by qglenellyn on Sat, Jul 14, 2007, at 10:15 PM

Minne O'Pausal's response:

I believe we have long lost sisters to be found around every corner, but unless you also had a mother who only let you pour milk on cake when it was someone's birthday, (and dead presidents didn't count), chased fire trucks on a regular basis, and worked as "The Egglady" on the side, chances are slim that we're blood related!

I don't recall having to draw lines for seams, but that was probably only because MY siblings "borrowed" all my markers! So, I was the bare legged one with the garter belt elastic straps dangling with nothing attached!! And we call them "good old days!"

Aha! Minnie, you do date yourself, Girl! However, I remember teaching in those girdles, with nylons held up with clips -- and high-heeled, pointy-toed shoes! (Yes, I did wear clothes over them, you weirdos who have another picture entirely..)

No wonder I can only wear S.A.S support shoes now!

The crazy thing is --- none of the schools were air-conditioned. How did we stay on our feet all day in that torture chamber called "fashion" without keeling over from heat stroke??

Hey, I still have some "full slips" in my dresser drawer - and I only recently found out that they're not in style anymore! Where was I when that happened?

In fact, my daughter and her age group inform me that slips are no longer "done." What?

And forget panty hose for that age group --- they just cover everything with a TAN!

Since when was a TAN considered a piece of wearing apparel??

-- Posted by goat lady on Sat, Jul 14, 2007, at 3:36 PM

A moment with Minnie

Minnie O'Pausal

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