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The former Daily Statesman is now The Dexter Statesman and currently does not have an operating website.

Hot and Blind

Posted Wednesday, July 18, 2007, at 11:37 PM

I only wish that I was referring to 'hot' in terms of today's connotation and have mistakenly interjected "blind" when I intended "blonde," but no such luck, girls.

No one ever told me that with 50-something comes loss of eyesight and intermittent waves of what can only be described as "a little taste of hell."

And who stole my language? I'm in mid-sentence and the words leave me, absolutely leave me. It doesn't matter though, because by the time I retrieve the stolen word, I have totally lost the subject matter at hand anyway.

My arms are no longer long enough to extend to the length that I can recognize a word in print before me. I never understood why "older" people had to look above and then through those half glasses. I know now. And one would think that given all the exercise I get by extending my arms in order to read, it might lesson the "wings" that I seem to have developed in that area. Given a little propeller assistance and an airstrip, I believe I could take off and land successfully. Is there a cure? Or an end?

Showing comments in chronological order
[Show most recent comments first]

You got it, Girl!

I like to think that I've always been a pretty fair story-teller, but now I get started on one, and suddenly I'm in outer space somewhere, and the story is gone, leaving my audience staring at me, obviously thinking, "Poor senile thing!"

Even in these blogs, where I have time to think out my comments, I'll lose a name or a word - and completely derail myself!

I've always been a bit scatter-brained, but this is ridiculous!

I feel like my mother, who was once trying to play Scattergories and couldn't think of "alligator." She said, "You know -- snap, snap!" and clicked her arms together.... Bless her heart, I know now how she felt!

I've even tried Ginko Biloba! Doesn't seem to help!

Anybody have a cure????

-- Posted by goat lady on Thu, Jul 19, 2007, at 7:10 AM

Is my mother writing this stuff? I swear it has to be. You have my deepest sympathy and I still love you, mom, even if you think being 50 something gives you an excuse to use that big bumper on the front of that big granny car!

-- Posted by greer958 on Thu, Jul 19, 2007, at 4:47 PM
Minne O'Pausal's response:

Be nice...I could be your mother.

Your cover's been blown, Minnie!! You never thought your own daughter would find you, lurking in the Statesman Blog World!

Or was greer958 talking about ME???

Uh-oh!! If she thinks we sound like her mother, just wait'll she gets a load of your CLONE -- the cake lady!! Heeheee

-- Posted by goat lady on Thu, Jul 19, 2007, at 5:56 PM

It's called growing old and senior moments....I think

-- Posted by LUFER on Thu, Jul 19, 2007, at 9:35 PM

All right! Someone new! Howdy, LUFER! Join in, if you think you can keep up!

We are bemoaning our declining mental and physical condition as we enter the "golden years".......

Minnie is our leader, but she's taking a nap right now, so you'll have to talk to her clone, Cake Lady. Trouble is -she's off somewhere baking a "special cake" for her fifth husband, who's been making snide comments about her weight.

That should almost bring you up to speed, for now.

Most of the guys fight over politics on Corey's blog -- but, right now, they're worn out from staying up all night last Saturday, saving the world from the threat of a liberal take-over.

Things should pick up anytime........

-- Posted by goat lady on Thu, Jul 19, 2007, at 9:54 PM
Minne O'Pausal's response:
Oh, mighty goatherder...

My nap is over! I'm feeling revived, so will post a new entry as we "speak." I was in the mood for "True Confessions," (Oh, remember that smut magazine of the 60's!!) Anyway, I was reading Lufer newcomer's comment on "senior moments" and was reminded of a few, although I had to call one of my children to remind me of just how they transpired. It's REALLY bad when you can't even recall your own senior moments, but once the memory was refreshed, I felt the need to "expound," so I attempted to relay a couple of encounters of late. One I never thought I'd go public with, but I'm throwing caution to the wind. It comes with the whole "age thing." Caution goes right along with the mind and body.

I remember "True Confessions"!! The only time I got to read it was at the beauty shop, while I was sitting in the chair under one of those big, ugly blowing machines that they don't use anymore. (Getting a $5 perm, no doubt)

Scandalous!! In fact, I believe that's where I got the little bit of sex education I ever got - other than from a girlfriend who told me all the steamy stuff in study hall, while we were supposed to working on math.....

Come to think of it, Miss Laddie Mae should have known we weren't studying math....

Back in those primitive days, our moms never talked to us about such things, so we had to pick it up somewhere....

-- Posted by goat lady on Fri, Jul 20, 2007, at 8:40 AM

Oh my deal clone Minnie - I do sympathize! Seems I do something, then just a few minutes later I start to do the same thing again!

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Fri, Jul 20, 2007, at 4:53 PM
Minne O'Pausal's response:
I know the feeling.

Oh my dear clone Minnie - I do sympathize! Seems I do something, then just a few minutes later I start to do the same thing again!

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Fri, Jul 20, 2007, at 4:55 PM
Minne O'Pausal's response:
I know the feeling.

Oh dear...I must have written something earlier...another senior moment, I guess. I find I do that so often lately. Well, I must go and give my husband his medicine. I'm SURE I haven't done that already...

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Fri, Jul 20, 2007, at 5:21 PM
Minne O'Pausal's response:
And if you HAVE already done that already, more is better, right? (Especially if there is an insurance policy involved).

Wow, these duplicate postings remind me of "Ground Hog Day," which really irritated me at first, until Tom Hanks got the hang of it...

-- Posted by goat lady on Fri, Jul 20, 2007, at 11:12 PM

Ground Hog day...Tom Hanks???? wasn't that Bill Murray? (If we are talking about the same Groundhog day) One of my favorite movies along with John T and Michael


-- Posted by LUFER on Sun, Jul 22, 2007, at 1:31 AM

OH, NO!!!! ANOTHER SENIOR MOMENT!!!!! Girls, I did it again!!!

Of course it was Bill Murray!!!

See what I mean??? I'm losin' it! The ole mind is GONE!!! How do I expect to carry on a rational (or even irrational) conversation if I keep forgetting those really important details!! Next thing you know, I'll be forgetting Robert Redford's name.......

Thanks, bent nail! You must have at least a shred of your mind left.....

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Jul 22, 2007, at 8:33 AM
Minne O'Pausal's response:

We must have a few years on Lufer. I was going right along with Tom Hanks being in Ground Hog Day. But, forget who Robert Redford is? Never! Does anyone recall the old movie, "The Sting?" An old favorite, but not as good as Camelot or Funny Girl. My goal in life in '68 was to grow fingernails like Barbra Streisand. Then I saw Camelot and feared I'd have to go into the convent like Gweneviere...and I don't think they let nuns have fingernails that long. SO, I just grew old with short nails and no habit. (Well, I've got some habits, but not the long black and white ones that are worn with a helmet).

Yeah, Lufer sounds like a mere child in diapers, doesn't he? Give him a few years and he won't be able to tell Hanks from Murray.... I sure didn't think I'd ever forget!

But as for the Sundance Kid, I have to admit that my favorite Redford was as Jay Gatsby in "The Great Gatsby." Mia Farrow (alias Daisy) did not deserve that man! No way, no how!

Put him in that white suit with the pink shirt and surround him with a classic yellow Rolls Royce....I think I'm gonna have a stroke, girls!!

Even the cake lady, with her propensity for 3-carat stones, would go for a man like that! (As if they really existed...)

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Jul 22, 2007, at 6:14 PM
Minne O'Pausal's response:
I believe Lufer to be a "she," but I may be surprised.

Minnie herself would go for the man in a pink shirt backdropped by a yellow Rolls...don't much care if he's 4 foot, 5"...suddenly against that backdrop, he looks about 6' 4".

Now, pink pants are another story altogether. Recently saw a man in them at a golf tournament who thought he could pull it off...he didn't. And why he bothered even trying is beyond me. I've heard it said, "It takes a real man to wear a pink shirt." And haven't seen one in a pink shirt yet that I thought didn't earn the right, but the pants are another realm entirely. Men need not try...no matter the number of Rolls in the backdrop, just don't go there, guys...it makes you look (for lack of a better word), ridiculous.

And I second gt's sentiments..."as if they really existed."

When we were in high school, the color pink suddenly became all the rage. I remember one of my (future) husband's good friends wearing a bunch of pink. I'm trying to remember (and there's nobody I can ask!!)....Did he wear a white shirt and pink pants? Or was it pink pants and a white shirt??

I think he also wore those white shoes that Pat Boone made all the rage.... It was about the time that the song "A White Sport Coat and a Pink Carnation" was popular....

About the same time, the older guys were bleaching their hair in all sorts of wild designs. I sat in study hall and chuckled at a kid named "Archie," who had a big bleached "A" on top of his flat top.... When he bent his head down to read, it was so funny that I could hardly concentrate on what I was doing!

I think I was a freshman at the time, and I thought high school was absolutely magic!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Jul 23, 2007, at 7:32 AM

Didn't the King himself wear pink shirts there for awhile? And to go back to the magazine thing, I remember my grandma hiding True Story in the house. She wanted us to think all she read was the Bible!

-- Posted by gardengirl on Mon, Jul 23, 2007, at 12:54 PM
Minne O'Pausal's response:

The King (who I believe is still alive and walking the aisles of the local Dollar General) did indeed wear pink shirts, but I don't recall him in pink pants. That's where we draw the line.

Now, you have really started some trips down the old Memory Lane with the mention of "True Story." I remember it well. Smut of the 60's and never to be left on a coffee table for the bridge club to view, for sure. Remember the pictures on the cover of the housewife dressed to the hilt in high heels, much like June Cleaver, perhaps with a letter from an illicit lover clutched to her cleavage (sorry, June) while a suspecting spouse, with eyebrows furrowed, is approaching from behind? Oh, the drama!

And not one off color word in the entire text of the magazine, as I recall (not that I ever actually read the stories, mind you). Actually, I was so innocent that if there had been any off color words, I wouldn't have recognized them. (and there are a few I probably still wouldn't...I think that's probably a good thing).

Yeah, and Ozzie and Harriet slept in separate beds. How stupid to they think we were? They got Ricky Nelson somehow - and it wasn't from under a cabbage leaf. Oh yeah, Ricky Nelson. Sigh!

Do you girls know what the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and a reliable man have in common? They're all fictional characters.

Excuse me while I go change.

-- Posted by Ducky on Mon, Jul 23, 2007, at 7:22 PM

Oh, yes, Minnie we were (and still are, I might add), such sheltered violets.... "True Confessions" was our only source of information of life on the OUTSIDE.

I guess that's why it was so exciting when the KING himself came along, with his highly illicit hip gyrations...(Oh, my, I don't believe I've ever used that word before! It looks so......suggestive! I'm sure I've spelled it wrong!)

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Jul 23, 2007, at 7:25 PM

Oh Goat Lady...we may have to waive the Medic Alert necklace over you!! What do you think, Ducky?

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Mon, Jul 23, 2007, at 7:33 PM

The Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and a Reliable Man!!! That is FUNNY!! You must have been posting it at the same time that I was posting my post about Elvis and his swiveling hips! Oh, yeah! Get out the Medic Alert necklace!! I'm a gonner!!!

Remember those little white pop beads that June Cleaver wore with her high heels when she fixed dinner each night?? Get a grip!! No wonder women had such a hard time of it! We could never live up to a guy's ideal women, if Junie Baby was the model!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Jul 23, 2007, at 8:10 PM

They were pop beads???? And all this time I thought she had been doing housework in pearls. Another myth of childhood busted. Why would a guy have June Clever as an ideal wife - the woman slept in a separate twin bed. Just little chaste kisses on the cheek for old Ward.

-- Posted by Ducky on Mon, Jul 23, 2007, at 8:20 PM

No wonder we all grew up so sexually repressed!!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Jul 23, 2007, at 8:23 PM

gl, I'm wondering about that repressed part. At least where E is concerned anyway.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Mon, Jul 23, 2007, at 11:15 PM

Wow......I think I'm in "Ground Hog Day" again with Tom Hanks and Bill Murray.... I could swear that I posted an answer to Mr. Truthy absolute HOURS ago!

Is someone erasing my comments?????

Surely not! They're so pithy and wise!

Well, maybe not so pithy....but infinitely wise.

I think I'm being repressed again........Elvis, where are you???

-- Posted by goat lady on Tue, Jul 24, 2007, at 10:07 PM

This was a good blog, but I believe it's dead.

-- Posted by goat lady on Sat, Jul 28, 2007, at 9:56 PM

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