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The former Daily Statesman is now The Dexter Statesman and currently does not have an operating website.

True Confessions

Posted Thursday, July 19, 2007, at 10:40 PM

In response to Lufer, you must be mistaken. I couldn't be growing older. I notice all the time that everyone else is, but it surely hasn't happened to ME! Kind of reminds me of the theory that when you run out of checks, there's nothing left in the bank. Only, instead of checks, it's my mind and my body. I'm not quite overdrawn yet, however. I bought into that "overdrawn protection plan," so I've got some steam left yet and plan to use it.

As far as those senior "moments," they sometimes transcend right into senior "days."

A special "moment" comes to mind, however. While there are many, this one stands out because I'm reminded of it often. I was at work and needed to make a phone call from my cell, not the business phone. So, while multi-tasking, (which I was quite adept at before this "senior" thing took over my being,) I reached into my purse, grabbed my cell and proceeded to press the appropriate numbers. But there was something not quite right about the number pad...just didn't feel right. Well, it could have been because I was dialing on my TV remote. If there'd been a TV handy, we could have watched channel 624.

And that prompts another "cell" moment and one that I cannot believe I'm going public with, but I actually claim responsibility for this (only because I'm incognito).

My son has a cell phone exactly like mine, and he left it at my home some time ago after a visit (isn't it nice that they only "visit" now)? When I realized it a few hours later, I used my landline phone to call and tell him. Now, it would be bad enough to admit that, of course, the cell phone that was left on my dining room table (which as I said, looked just like my own) began to ring. I was, of course, calling it to report that it was left. A senior moment in itself, but I wasn't done yet. I answered it. I did. Picked it up and answered it,"Hello?" and all the while I was holding my landline phone to my other ear listening to myself greet myself and wondering why no one was answering. As I recall, it took about three "Hellos" for it to sink in. When it finally did, I was embarrassed to know myself. Truly. With the mind went all power of association. I would welcome anyone else's "moments."

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Oh, my, ladies! I see you have, as usual, been busily penning your own unique combination of humor, cooking, and senior health advice! I look forward each day to your practical, homemade solutions to the everyday problems of growing old in the Heartland!

And, good work, Minnie-dear-wise-leader: You have once again lured another voice to our daily chit chat! I felt sure that the cell phone story would ring a few bells.....Welcome, D.W.B.

I'm so glad that I sold my daughter's trampoline, cake lady, as your advice has no doubt saved many a life in we folk of the elderly persuasion... Or, if not a life, at least two black eyes...

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Jul 23, 2007, at 7:17 PM

I tried a trampoline not too many years ago at the behest of one of my nieces. Took my chiropractor 30 days of adjustments just to get me so I could walk - and I'm 2 inches shorter!!!!

-- Posted by Ducky on Mon, Jul 23, 2007, at 7:14 PM

"Depends" on your definition of fun!

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Mon, Jul 23, 2007, at 7:08 PM

Gee, haven't tried either in quite a while. Might be fun!

-- Posted by qglenellyn on Mon, Jul 23, 2007, at 7:05 PM

Minnie-clone...put trampoline on the list of things you shouldn't attempt. Trust me.

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Mon, Jul 23, 2007, at 6:53 PM

I have been reading for a while now, but your Cell Phone story has brought me out of the woodwork, now that I have quit laughing, changed, and dried my eyes. JUST TOO FUNNY for words.

-- Posted by D.W.B. on Mon, Jul 23, 2007, at 8:36 AM
Minne O'Pausal's response:
D.W.B...(if that is, indeed, your real name also)..

Welcome! And once again we have an honest heart in our midst. Anyone who can admit to having to go and "change" after laughter is ok in my book. Glad we could accommodate. And a word to the wise (or anyone who has to change after breaking the barriers of laughter)...don't jump rope, even if the grandchildren beg you to do so, especially in a public place. Don't do it! Again, experience speaks.

Yeah, Ducky, I agree! The Heartland is closest to MY heart, too!

It is SO GREAT to have people from all over the country posting on this little SE Missouri blog!! Makes you feel connected to the rest of the world!

Bent nail...It isn't often we hear that someone from New York has moved to the area.....Most curious! I heard a New York accent in my part of the hills not long ago and had to stop and ask her what in the blue blazes she was doing here! I think she just wanted some peace and quiet.....

It's just a good thing that we don't have 65 degree weather like this every July - or we couldn't afford to live here!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Jul 22, 2007, at 8:28 AM

Ducky dear, is also displaced - but from the other direction. Dixie, where old times there are not forgotten, look away, look away, look away, Dixie Land. But I digress. Sometimes I do look back, but notice I haven't moved back. That's because I haven't forgotten the old times there. The good old days weren't always so darned good. The heartland is the place for me.

Now if I win the lottery, all bets are off. Nah, I'd probably just more to Cape. Hahahahaha.

-- Posted by Ducky on Sun, Jul 22, 2007, at 7:37 AM
Minne O'Pausal's response:

So, make yourself at home here in the Heartland. It's a good place to be. You must be familiar with the Ya Ya Sisterhood books by Connie Brown...a good read for any Southern girl, especially the chapter on "The Promise." Has anyone ever read it?

Central NY, how far north Minnie

-- Posted by LUFER on Sun, Jul 22, 2007, at 12:45 AM

Let me sort these comments out - They're coming in thick and fast!

A thousand miles for our new blog buddy LUFER... Canada?

And, girls, we all know that diamonds are a girl's best friend! Though the Lady of Cake may prefer the Rock of Gibralter...

-- Posted by goat lady on Sat, Jul 21, 2007, at 4:11 PM

1000 miles, but never looked back..I love it here in the heartland..

-- Posted by LUFER on Sat, Jul 21, 2007, at 1:40 PM
Minne O'Pausal's response:
Minnie is displaced from the Northland herself, but like you, have never looked back...well once, by necessity, but never again. The Heartland is my home and so glad that it is. There's no place like home, this being it!

Now, now gl and min-clone...my husband is doing just fine - just a little groggy at times. But I did happen to notice a beautiful memorial stone the other day (my theory is one must always be prepared). Thought maybe I should put a hold on it "just in case". You'd love it - it was about 3 carats.

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Sat, Jul 21, 2007, at 12:52 PM
Minne O'Pausal's response:
Preparednes is indeed the key. And this 3 ct. job sounds like just the thing. It's the Boy Scout motto, you know, "Always be prepared," or something within that realm. And so, how could you go wrong? Priorities, my dearie, priorities...carats and insurance. They go hand-in-hand. (along with pensions)

Hey, girls, so good to have you back again on a brand new blog!! Darn, if only it weren't 10:45 p.m.! I cannot stay up late again tonight!!! Do you realize that these blogs have absolutely ruined my traditional bedtime?? I cannot function after nine p.m....

You girls are definitely clones.....You even sing the same songs.....

And is the cake lady already up to husband #17?? Gee, I missed 5-13....

She must have found a sale on cake mix..

Gotta go to bed......Remember, in Scarlet's words....Tomorrow is another day!

-- Posted by goat lady on Fri, Jul 20, 2007, at 10:56 PM

I think we are all growing older at the same rate therefore we don't notice it, and you have to be careful those senior moments don't become senior hours, day, weeks and months. I am just relating my experences of growing older, I love these blogs, all of them but this is the first one I can relate to....everyone have a great day from a displaced Yankee

-- Posted by LUFER on Fri, Jul 20, 2007, at 10:53 PM
Minne O'Pausal's response:
Stay tuned, Lufer...you'll relate to more as the time comes. And just how displaced are you?

I was sure I had a thoughtful comment to add to this discussion, but my mind keeps repeating "girls have picked them every one"...why IS that?

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Fri, Jul 20, 2007, at 6:41 PM
Minne O'Pausal's response:
Funny, oh clone of mine..my feeble mind keeps repeating, "Gone for husbands, every one," and more importantly, "When will they ever learn?" Apparently not any time soon.

Hahahahahaha! Minnie, you've done it again!! The cell phone story is priceless! I can only imagine the number of times you have to listen to your kids tell and retell that story at family gatherings!!

The neat thing is -- You can't resist telling it on yourself, because it's such a good story!

My mom was like that. If she put her pants on backwards in the morning and only discovered it when she got to work, she'd tell it! She couldn't resist a good laugh, even if she was the one who got laughed at!

I have to admit, my mom's "blabber-mouth" quirk is another thing I've inherited from her. No one is funnier for me to laugh at than myself!

-- Posted by goat lady on Fri, Jul 20, 2007, at 8:26 AM
Minne O'Pausal's response:

You're so right. If one cannot find humor in the mirror, no need to look any further. I think there probably ought to be another Beatitude added to the list..."Blessed are those who can take delight in their own shortcomings, for they shall inherit...mmmm, let's see, what might they inherit??? How about laughter...the best medicine...and speaking of medicine, wonder how cake lady's 17th husband is feeling after dessert this evening?

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