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To lift or not to lift...

Posted Sunday, July 29, 2007, at 10:22 PM

If I had the money, and more importantly the time, I would definitely lift…and I don't mean weights. We're talking facelift here, plain and simple, with all the tucking and trimming and stitching. Wouldn't hesitate. Not for a minute. I'd tell the doc to just get out the ole' scalpel and start trimmin', unlike 10 or so years ago when I thought such activity was only for the very vain. But then the wrinkles appeared and refused to listen to the reason of the highest end of anti-aging, anti-wrinkle, rejuvenating, line-block complex, even the Regeneration Gold (they just put a G in front of OLD). No, rather, with a vengeance, they said, "Yeah, and you thought we were only for the Very Mature." "And just for thinking in those terms, we're gonna give you a few wrinkles, right around the mouth, in which you can plant row crops."

I recall a theory years ago of a comedian (Phyllis perhaps??) who thought it would be wise to just start at the toes and push the excess flesh upward, until such time as you reached the top of the head. You would then tie a knot and proceed to cut the excess off above such knot. Works for me.

Anyway, I'm all for using the skills of a surgeon to get rid of what Mother Nature did to us. Afterall, God gave those surgeons the know-how to nip and tuck successfully, right? Who knew in the 50's and 60's that baking on the beach would result in road maps all over our faces??!!! And I don't recall anyone telling me that smearing all that baby oil and iodine and strategically placing aluminum foil could have any negative affects later in life.

Well, it's later in life and I'm ready to repair all that damage all that sun did. But, is it really worth thousands of bucks to gain a few good years back? Really? DoI hear a resounding YEP!!!

AH, the Yeps have it.. Oh, to arise and not have to fish among all the "anti" crèmes to find the Erase stick. I realize that it's just a temporary fix, but I still think it would be worth every penny, if I had that many pennies.

Now, I have seen a few local "repair jobs" gone wrong. One woman I know went in to rid her face of her frown lines and came out with a perpetual grin. Funerals, weddings, you name it…there she is with her face drawn back so tightly that she grins eternally. Can't say that was an improvement. It now takes a concerted effort on her part to look mournful. She has to grab onto the sides of her mouth with her teeth and hold them to convince folks she's not delighted at the death of a loved one, old friend, etc. And she paid about $10,000 for that perpetual smile.

Money is not the only obstacle, however. The time for recovery would seriously cut into the time needed to spend at work to pay for this transformation. Somehow, I'm just not willing enough, or perhaps wrinkled enough, to face an office of co-hearts while my entire face is scabbed over awaiting for the new and improved version to be unveiled. But then, I could do a "revealing" like they do on Super Makeover," or whatever they call the reality show during which they repair every aspect of someone's unsuspecting body and then invite all of the friends and neighbors to gawk at how they look, while all the while they're thinking, "I guess they CAN make silk out of a sow's ear." And yet, the makeover just twirls around thanking them all for their thoughts and prayers! Reality TV gone Unreal.

Anyway, just wondering how many of you would be willing to undergo the knife, (if you haven't already)if money and time permitted.

Must go…my Neru jacket is in need of a good pressing.

Minnie o'

Showing comments in chronological order
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no comment

-- Posted by LUFER on Sun, Jul 29, 2007, at 10:51 PM

Dear Aloofer....

You can't "not comment." By posting a comment, you have already fallen into the "posted" category, thereby exposing your vulnerability to counter-commenting, such as it it. You may wish to rethink your un-comment.

-- Posted by bringwine on Sun, Jul 29, 2007, at 11:04 PM

You know Minnie, I have grey thinning hair, big ole canyon wrinkles and busted veins on my legs that look like road maps and I am learning to live with all of it. If I had the money and could fix it all, maybe I would. If the wrinkles are bothering you and it would make you personally happy to remove them then you go for it. I guess they don't bother guys that bad because we have never experience being beautiful anyway.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Sun, Jul 29, 2007, at 11:32 PM

Just when I think we've exhausted every topic on these blogs, Minnie, you start down a hilarious new road! That story about the woman with the perpetual smile had me laughing my head off, sitting here at the computer all by myself.

What a great way to start the day!!

Bringwine, go get 'em!! I love the new word...."uncomment"!!

Love it, love it, love it!!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Jul 30, 2007, at 7:24 AM

thank you Minnie 'o. Thoroughly enjoyed To lift or not to lift. i think most boomers are asking themselves this question. i have always looked younger than my chronological age [turned 49 this year] as has everyone in my fam [i jokingly refer to this as the family curse], but i can tell where things that didn't used to droop, wrinkle, etc now are. i have eliminated a few things from my diet now that i no longer have the metabolism of a 19yr old, and while i don't exercise as much as my conscience and body tell me i should, i do make some effort [shrug]. i used to think that coloring my hair would be my only concession to vanity and raging against aging, but i'm with you sis---had i the time and $, most assuredly lifting would occur :-)


-- Posted by sookietex on Mon, Jul 30, 2007, at 11:29 AM

Not me. I've had more than my quota of surgical pain and subsequent infection this year (unscheduled and unplanned). Talk to me again next year when the memory of this year is gone.

Come to think of it, given my memory it won't take a year.

Loved the "uncomment."

-- Posted by Ducky on Mon, Jul 30, 2007, at 12:19 PM

Min-clone...do you suppose they'd do a two for one? You can count me in! Any surgical procedure that is good enough for our illustious leader is good enough for me. Must admit I have had a "touch" of surgery in the past...I always thought of it as "insurance" against old age. And there were a few insurance policies that allowed me to have a little work done...

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Mon, Jul 30, 2007, at 4:32 PM

Plastic surgeons now have payment plans,gift certificates and lay-a-way the deposit plans.

Something as trivial as poverty cannot be used as an excuse to stave off Father Time!

I know people who can't pay bills,but can always find money to get tanning time-these plans will help them in the future.

Rays today,raisins tomorrow (motto of my wise granny!)

-- Posted by Yellow Rose of Essex on Mon, Jul 30, 2007, at 6:31 PM

Never know whether you're serious or not, Yellow Rose! Tanning for the future -- novel idea!!

Though I would certainly be willing to eliminate a few lines.....I'm afraid of the knife, the needle, and the liposuction tube!! That pretty well eliminates everything except Mary Kay...

I'd be afraid that I'd end up like the Joker in the first Batman movie -- with one of those permanent smiles...like the gal in Minnie's story...

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Jul 30, 2007, at 6:38 PM

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