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Tuesday, July 7, 2015
To lift or not to lift...Posted Sunday, July 29, 2007, at 10:22 PM
If I had the money, and more importantly the time, I would definitely lift…and I don't mean weights. We're talking facelift here, plain and simple, with all the tucking and trimming and stitching. Wouldn't hesitate. Not for a minute. I'd tell the doc to just get out the ole' scalpel and start trimmin', unlike 10 or so years ago when I thought such activity was only for the very vain. But then the wrinkles appeared and refused to listen to the reason of the highest end of anti-aging, anti-wrinkle, rejuvenating, line-block complex, even the Regeneration Gold (they just put a G in front of OLD). No, rather, with a vengeance, they said, "Yeah, and you thought we were only for the Very Mature." "And just for thinking in those terms, we're gonna give you a few wrinkles, right around the mouth, in which you can plant row crops."
I recall a theory years ago of a comedian (Phyllis perhaps??) who thought it would be wise to just start at the toes and push the excess flesh upward, until such time as you reached the top of the head. You would then tie a knot and proceed to cut the excess off above such knot. Works for me.
Anyway, I'm all for using the skills of a surgeon to get rid of what Mother Nature did to us. Afterall, God gave those surgeons the know-how to nip and tuck successfully, right? Who knew in the 50's and 60's that baking on the beach would result in road maps all over our faces??!!! And I don't recall anyone telling me that smearing all that baby oil and iodine and strategically placing aluminum foil could have any negative affects later in life.
Well, it's later in life and I'm ready to repair all that damage all that sun did. But, is it really worth thousands of bucks to gain a few good years back? Really? DoI hear a resounding YEP!!!
AH, the Yeps have it.. Oh, to arise and not have to fish among all the "anti" crèmes to find the Erase stick. I realize that it's just a temporary fix, but I still think it would be worth every penny, if I had that many pennies.
Now, I have seen a few local "repair jobs" gone wrong. One woman I know went in to rid her face of her frown lines and came out with a perpetual grin. Funerals, weddings, you name it…there she is with her face drawn back so tightly that she grins eternally. Can't say that was an improvement. It now takes a concerted effort on her part to look mournful. She has to grab onto the sides of her mouth with her teeth and hold them to convince folks she's not delighted at the death of a loved one, old friend, etc. And she paid about $10,000 for that perpetual smile.
Money is not the only obstacle, however. The time for recovery would seriously cut into the time needed to spend at work to pay for this transformation. Somehow, I'm just not willing enough, or perhaps wrinkled enough, to face an office of co-hearts while my entire face is scabbed over awaiting for the new and improved version to be unveiled. But then, I could do a "revealing" like they do on Super Makeover," or whatever they call the reality show during which they repair every aspect of someone's unsuspecting body and then invite all of the friends and neighbors to gawk at how they look, while all the while they're thinking, "I guess they CAN make silk out of a sow's ear." And yet, the makeover just twirls around thanking them all for their thoughts and prayers! Reality TV gone Unreal.
Anyway, just wondering how many of you would be willing to undergo the knife, (if you haven't already)if money and time permitted.
Must go…my Neru jacket is in need of a good pressing.
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