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How to beat the heat, according to MinniePosted Saturday, August 11, 2007, at 10:18 AM
With the mercury rising into the triple digit range these days and with no relief in sight, I thought we could all use a few sensible tips to get through this little taste of hell. Here goes...
Pretend the 102 temperature is a hot flash that just won't subside. It won't cool you off, but it will give you hope that the situation will improve any minute.
Frequent the frozen food aisle of Wal-Mart and pick up a few bags of frozen peas. The cheap variety will do. Place the bags on top of your head and secure them with a nice purple babushka. Chiffon is always attractive. When totally thawed, serve with dinner. Better yet, have someone else serve them to you for dinner. So you see, the Birds Eyes or PicSweets have served a two-fold purpose. (Minnie's always thinking).
Prepare yourself a nice mint julep (heavy on the julep).
Rid your household of anything that draws a breath and might possibly require an effort on your part that may result in the production of sweat, i.e. spouse, children, grandchildren, pets, etc. Lock the door and hide the key.
Turn the AC down to 60. When the electric bill arrives, the spouse/significant other may be allowed back in. They should appreciate the indoor temperature by that time and gladly pay the bill.
A big scoop of Rocky Road on chocolate cake serves as a pleasant reliever also, and if worse comes to worse, invite Cake Lady over to spruce up the cake a tad…it might not lower the temperature outside, but you won't be in a position to care.
Avoid dirty dishes, laundry, dusting, etc…(again, the sweat factor)
Position yourself in a comfy recliner (preferably not leather; we all know what happens when we recline on leather in the heat). In close proximity, place the mint julep pitcher (heavy on the..you know), the remote, a phone, a James Patterson novel, and an electric fan…oh, and don't forget the bag of peas and babushka. Although, for indoors you may wish to switch to an ace bandage and save the good chiffon for Sunday church.
Any other worthwhile tips are welcome!
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