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To tell or not to tell....the truth

Posted Tuesday, September 18, 2007, at 11:14 PM

To tell, or not to tell….the truth

It seems the time has come to explain to some of our maleism patrons just how the feminine mind works. Well, now that's a tall order indeed, and no simple task. First, it works just fine, thank you ever so much. The fact that the male mind doesn't work quite as well is not our fault. It just doesn't.

To explain "how" the female mind works would require more space than is allowed here in cyberland, so no need to try. I shall herein, instead, attempt to illustrate an example of how it might work differently than the male's, once again using the weight issue.

I.B. has pointed out that if he asked his wife if he looked fat, he would expect an honest answer and he could deal with it. There lies the first major difference between I.B.'s line of thinking and ours.

If we ask a significant other,"Do you think I'm fat?" and they answer, "Yep, sure do," you can count on a major meltdown from us. You can also NOT count on dinner, conversation, or sex till the next lunar eclipse. It's not ok to be honest about that, even if it's true. This is one of those truisms that men just don't seem to grasp. It always seems to come as a surprise to them that when they answer a question like that honestly (assuming there's a bit of extra poundage lying about), they suffer for it. Will they ever learn? And yet, if they ask us for an honest answer to the same type of question, we can be brutally honest and we expect only thanks for being so. That's because WE understand the male mind enough to know that YOU expect an honest answer. Let us be clear, however, that is not to imply that we wish to hear a "dishonest" response. We just want to hear what we NEED to hear. Even if we know the truthful answer to the question at hand, you see, the fact that yes, we may need to shed a few pounds, has no bearing whatsoever on the question. Understand? Naw… didn't think so. And if the male element DID understand this concept, it would take half the fun out of life as we know it, now wouldn't it?

The above is only one example, but the basic concept may be applied to any number of situations…just remember the difference between "need" and "want." Very important.

A point to remember is this…if we truly "want" the truth, we'll ask a girlfriend. There are no repercussions there when the truth is told. It's just a female thing, not for you to understand.

M o'


Comments
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Aha! The truth comes out about the Queen of Essex! She's not the pristine sibling she would lead us to believe!!

Defend yourself, Queenie! You must uphold the honor of we older sisters!

-- Posted by goat lady on Fri, Sep 28, 2007, at 9:23 PM

Yes, dear GT...just testing! No, I don't believe Jimmy S. ever beat his offspring with wire hangers. How many of us recall his poetry, as he read satirical verses on Johnny Carson? He was just so down-home appealing..a master at every spoken art. Who today can compare with Jimmy Stewart??

YRT...I can just see her Majesty ruling the roost with her plastic hangers...by the way...they used to be a dozen for a buck at General Dollar, but with inflation, I noticed last week that there are only ten now to a pack!

-- Posted by bringwine on Fri, Sep 28, 2007, at 8:26 PM

Hey Bringwine,I always thought he was the guy from the Christmas movie. What a great actor-I remember the scene where he has cold cream on his face,a silk robe with monster shoulder pads,and he's screaming at this terrified child,"I buy you beautiful clothes and you treat them like rags. I said no more wire hangers",then he goes monkeypoop crazy and beats the kid with the wire hangers. A classic,how many times did I see my older sister,her Majesty,perform this scene for my mom when she was asked to clean her room or do laundry.It was a long time before we knew it was a movie,we just thought the queen lost her mind.

Now that's great acting!

-- Posted by Yellow Rose of Essex on Fri, Sep 28, 2007, at 7:50 AM

You were just testing us, weren't you??

-- Posted by goat lady on Thu, Sep 27, 2007, at 5:49 PM

No, no, bringwine! That was Joan Crawford, not Jimmy Stewart!!!

Hahaha! You knew that!

-- Posted by goat lady on Thu, Sep 27, 2007, at 5:48 PM

I believe I recall hearing Jimmy tell his first born...."NO WIRE HANGERS!!!!"

...but then it was a long time ago and I could be mistaken.

-- Posted by bringwine on Tue, Sep 25, 2007, at 8:31 PM

Ah, bringwine, you are a hopeless romantic!

Even Jimmy Stewart was probably not Jimmy Stewart-like all the time. I haven't read any "Mommy Dearest" type exposés, written by a bitter offspring, but I suppose there could be one out there.

How 'bout it? Does anybody know?

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Sep 23, 2007, at 7:46 AM

Why not???

-- Posted by bringwine on Fri, Sep 21, 2007, at 7:46 PM

Well, we can't hold all the other men to the standard set by Jimmy Stewart!

-- Posted by goat lady on Thu, Sep 20, 2007, at 8:53 PM

I once heard an interview with Jimmy Stewart (my favorite movie star of all time) on the Johnny Carson Show (my favorite interviewer of all time). Johnny asked Jimmy if he'd ever fallen in love with any of his leading ladies. Jimmy said "sure." Then Johnny asked him "which ones?" Jimmy, the consumate gentleman, paused, cleared his throat and said "well, all of them."

Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!

-- Posted by Ducky on Wed, Sep 19, 2007, at 1:17 PM

Very good explanation, Minnie O. You told them all they need to know.

I have a cute example that happened awhile back. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law and I were going out to eat at a local restaurant. On our way to the food bar, I talked in low tones with her about my trepidation in having to wear a swimsuit in public. He was curious about our conversation, so (against my better judgment) I shared a few details, expecting his usual bantering comments.

Not so - He was so sweet! He said, "Well, here's the key. Will there be any cleavage?" I answered in the affirmative. "Then nothing else matters," he said. "I'm sure your gentleman friend will be as insecure about the way he looks as you are."

When his wife (who has had a masectomy) said, "Oh, so cleavage is important, huh?? What about me??" (major argument time)

He paused only slightly, as he looked at his plate. "You have other attractive qualities," he said.

Moment of confrontation over! Both of his lady companions were suitably pacified!

-- Posted by goat lady on Wed, Sep 19, 2007, at 6:53 AM


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