We've come a long way, baby!

An actual 1955 Good Housekeeping article.

The Good Wife's Guide

Housekeeping Monthly - May 13, 1955

· ·Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on timefor his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.· ·Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people.

· ·Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

· ·Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just

before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc and then run a

dust cloth over the tables.· ·Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will

give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

· ·Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces

(if they are small), comb their hair and , if necessary, change their clothes. They are little

treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time

of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children

to be quiet.

· ·Be happy to see him.

· ·Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

· ·Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment

of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are

more important than yours.

· ·Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner

or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of

strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

· ·Your goal: To try and make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and

tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

· ·Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

· ·Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count

his as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

· ·Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie

down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

· ·Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and

pleasant voice.

Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with· ·Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity.

fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

· ·A good wife always knows her place.

OK, girls…

This is for real, as far as I can tell. It's a popular email being circulated and professes to be an actual article out of a 1955 Good Housekeeping magazine. The article is accompanied by a sketch of a woman with about a 16 inch waist, donned in crisp dress, apron, and heels, greeting her dearly beloved at the door with perfectly groomed children at her side and a smile with dinner at the ready!

Who knew how far we'd come in the relatively short span of just over half a century. How archaic the overall theme contained herein seems here in 2007, thank goodness!!

Well now, what do you see coming?…a current day approach to the same subject perhaps? Why, of course!

An Actual 2007 Minnie O'Pausal article.

The Perfectly Fine Wife's Guide

Saturday, October 13, 2007

.."Dinner. Plan ahead." Be sure you call your spouse early enough to allow him time to stop on the way home at your favorite fast food establishment. If you require extra condiments, i.e. ketchup, mustard, spicy mustard, etc., be sure you make this request clear, as men are known to forget between Point A and Point B. And he will likely need directions. Keep them simple.

.."Be a little more gay and a little more interesting for him."…Yeah, I believe if you met him at the door and sprung it on him that you were gay, it would definitely make things more interesting for him!

"Clear away the clutter." Right, I almost forgot. Pitch the Skinny Cow wrappers.

"Prepare the Children" OK, we'll interpret that to mean that the grandchildren. So, alter that dinner plan and add two or three Happy Meals, two with cheeseburgers, one with McNuggets. Make that with sweet and sour sauce. And oh, more ketchup.

"Eliminate all noise, such as vacuum, washer or dryer" Hmmmmm. This is a difficult one, but I'd interpret it as a directive to refrain from using any of the above altogether… no problem for me.

"Be happy to see him" OK, but only if it's payday.

..Listen to him. OK, this is the biggie. The 1955 version tells us to "let him talk first since his topics of conversation are more important than yours." Who do I kill first, the author or the messenger?

.."Make the evening his." This directive tells us to "try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax." Yeah, right. Let's go with, "Try to understand how he can possibly think that his day has been any more stressful than your own, and tell HIM of your very REAL need for a massage and a night out with the girls.

.."Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit."…OH, PAH-LEEEEEZE!!! Can you believe we women of the world were ever reduced to this position? I'd like a little body renewal myself! And as far as the spirit, I'll meet him on the sofa with a half empty bottle of vino!

"Don't greet him with complaints and problems." Yeah…save 'em for the courtroom.

"Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night." OK, as long as he doesn't gripe about passing me on the highway at 3 a.m.while he's out and about.

"Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him." Hmmmm…where's Cake Lady when you need her?

"Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice." OK, I'll speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice as I place the pillow (with great pressure and pleasure) over his face.And I'll whisper, "Are you still breathing, dear?"

"Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will.Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity,fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him" OK, I'm about to throw up.

And Finally,

"A good wife always knows her place." Yeah, right in the plaintiff's seat.