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An "Earie" episode

Posted Wednesday, February 27, 2008, at 9:05 PM

My apologies to bloggers across Blogland. I have indeed been remiss in my duties as a bloggist…is that what I have been reduced to…a bloggist? Hmmmmmm, a blogographer might be a more impressive title. No matter, Miss Minnie is back, and in the nick of time, as I see there are messages from two of my favorite supporters, GT and Cake. Sorry, dearies….a social life calls.

It couldn't have been a more appropriate day for the makings of a blog. Let me begin.

Having awakened with a bit of a scratchy throat Monday, and having a fun weekend planned to begin Friday morning, and having had these symptoms some time ago and knowing that I was headed for nothing less than bronchial pneumonia, I made an appointment with, you guessed it, my favorite physician…yes, the one to whom, as explained a few blogs ago, I announced that the day was still young when he inquired as to whether or not I was "active."

And so today, I sat patiently, though he was over half an hour late in appearing at the door (I always wonder…is there another professional for whom folks would sit for "patient"ly after being kept waiting for that length of time? A carpenter?…nope, I'd hire another one. A plumber?….nah, I'd call someone in the Yellow Pages. Even a lawyer doesn't keep clients waiting for that long without offering an excuse. Of course, the doctor doesn't charge you $200 an hour while he sees you either…close, but no cigar. But I digress…

SO, finally the good doctor arrives and I tell him of my symptoms and that I wish for nothing more than an antibiotic. I even go into detail as to what my doctor of thirty years ago used to prescribe for me….like that prescription still even exists. I just wanted to make it clear that I wanted an antibiotic and nothing more or less. I know my body and right now, it's screaming, "ANTIBIOTICS, NOW!!"

So, the good doc, still sheepish, I suppose from the memory of my last visit, proceeds with the exam to determine if my self-diagnosis is correct. He takes a look in my throat with his light and has me voice the usual "Ahhhhhh." And then he proceeds to the ears. The left one first….He looks for longer than what I think is appropriate. What's going on here? Just give me an antibiotic and I'll be on my merry, overweight way, with slightly elevated blood pressure, due no doubt to having to wait for 35 minutes past my appointment time when I have very important things to do….like most blogographers.

"SO," he says, "when did you lose the back to your earring?"

I'm thinking, "Is that a question that is addressed to me…WHAT?" And that's what I said, "What?" And he repeats his question….and then he says, "You have an earring back down in your ear canal…When did you lose it?"

Well, if I knew the answer to that question, I guess I'd know that I lost one, which I obviously did not. SO, I responded most appropriately, "I don't know…maybe a few weeks ago." I recalled waking one morning…I believe it was still in 2008, and realizing at some point in preparing for the workday ahead, that I lacked an earring back. I looked on the sheets, as I recall, but it wasn't like I suspected that the thing was anywhere that it shouldn't be…it was just gone…maybe in the carpet or in the bedding somewhere. At the time, I recall that it really wasn't a concern. I got another one and secured the earring and never gave it another thought…..until today, when the good doctor found it not only in my ear, but imbedded in the ear drum, more appropriately referred to as the "tympanic membrane," I do believe.

And so, an endeavor ensued to remove the foreign material from the membrane. It reminded me of the old scavenger hunts…remember? "Find a chicken feather near and a pine needle." Only this time it was…Find an earring back in an ear canal.

The quest was on. He first attempted to remove it with a pair of tweezers…very long tweezers. No luck. It was at that point that he told me he feared it might be imbedded in the eardrum. A nurse was summoned, who was instructed to hold the light while he used both hands to try to remove the little culprit. I was told (very kindly, mind you), to sit very still while he tried to pry the little thing off the membrane, which by all indications had taken up residence there and had burrowed itself into the newfound home. Still, no luck. There was discussion of going to get a special tool that would be "just right" to retrieve the back thingy, but the office in which it was housed was already closed…the thought crossed my mind that if he hadn't been 35 minutes late in arriving, that office would still be open.

Another tool was attempted and a statement was made that it was really down in there… "Well, no wonder," I said, "I use a Q-tip every night, so I'm sure I've managed to jam it down there good and tight."

The third tool worked. While I focused on the "February" name on the calendar across the room, trying to see how many words I could make out of the letters…bury, ferry, rube (I've met a few of them)…the good doc managed to pry the little silver thing off my eardrum and presented it to me with a smile. I thanked him profusely for saving me the expense of having to purchase another one.

The ear did not bother me in the least until he removed what should have been making it hurt. Now it hurts. Maybe I should have left it in place…like a little interior decorating.

I thanked the good man and got my prescription (yes, for an antibiotic and some Musinex) and went on my merry way, but not without second thoughts. WHY didn't I ask him to take another look in my throat and tell him I'd recently lost a diamond pendant. Or better yet….suggest another pap smear…might have unearthed an emerald or a ruby. And there's no telling what a colonoscopy would have produced. Think I'll go back tomorrow. If I'm lyin'….I'm dyin'.

Showing comments in chronological order
[Show most recent comments first]

SO, if you blog excessively, are you to be considered a "blogomist" who may be found guilty of "blogomy" or "bah-log-a-mee?" Just wondering. In the meantime, a word to the wise. Let's all get jewelry armoirs to avoid a similar fate.

-- Posted by bringwine on Wed, Feb 27, 2008, at 9:44 PM

Oh Minnie - I'm so relieved that you are back - and in your best blogomist form too. I was beginning to worry. Your blogisms always brighten my day!

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Thu, Feb 28, 2008, at 8:12 AM

You're blogs are certainly entertaining. That's my first sincere smile all day. That made me laugh (sorry). You're such a "JEWEL" of a person! :)

-- Posted by Amanda on Thu, Feb 28, 2008, at 1:08 PM

YES!! MINNIE IS BACK!!! Now we can return to our lives as we know them, secure in the knowledge that all is right with the world! No more checking the blogs each day, only to find that same final comment, moldering sadly on Minnie's "The Things We Save" blog.

I once lost a diamond stud earring at the beauty shop, and it turned up a month later in the toilet! Turns out that the back came off, and the earring fell on the chenille tank cover, where it stayed a month, until my beautician was cleaning and obviously knocked it down into the (clean) water, where she saw it sparkling. True story!!

Tricky little things, aren't they?

Glad to have you back, dear Minnie! Now we need to pick on some of the other bloggers!

-- Posted by goat lady on Thu, Feb 28, 2008, at 7:01 PM

Oh Minnie,what would he have done if you said,"I don't have pierced ears,but my special friend Sean does" or,"I haven't worn pierced earrings since I was a teenager,why do you ask?"

Someday Minnie, the good Dr.Doogie Howser will have a breakdown after you leave,sobbing in the fetal position.

I think he probably has a little crush on our Dear Minnie,and he makes her wait,so he can make himself pretty for her visit.

-- Posted by Yellow Rose of Essex on Fri, Feb 29, 2008, at 9:49 AM

We all bow to the great Blogmeister! So, so good to see you back Minnie.

I like the idea of your leaving Dr. Doogie Houser in a fetal position, sobbing his little teenage heart out. Good image.

He's probably wondering what on earth you'll come up with next. Oh No! He may think the reverse Yellow Rose - he may be thinking that our beloved Minnie has a crush on HIM. Therefore, she does things like tell him the day is still young when he asks about sexual activity and putting earring backs into her ear canal just to get to see him.

-- Posted by Ducky on Fri, Feb 29, 2008, at 3:38 PM

Girls, girls! What is it about Minnie's blogs that makes your imaginations run away with you?? A doctor curled up in a fetal position - frightening thought! I can only imagine that Mr. Doogie runs for cover when he sees Ms. Minnie coming up the sidewalk to his door!(Ah, there I go - off on a wild mental excursion at the thought!)

Minnie, dear Blogzinni Extraordinaire, you must take your earrings out of your ears before you go to bed at night, no matter how tired you are from the wild excursions of the day! As your fans, we cannot bear the thought of our favorite blogmeister in the hospital, undergoing an earringectomy!

Our lives would simply be too dull and mundane without you!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sat, Mar 1, 2008, at 4:06 AM

It occurs to me that I have an app't with my gyno Wednesday (for the first time since 05, I think), so I shall use the knowledge gained in Minnie's informative blogs to guide me through the mental maze of physician questions he levels at me. The "Are you active?" inquiry shall hold no trauma for me. This time, I will be ready and will not try to strangle him with his stethoscope!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Mar 2, 2008, at 6:38 AM

Don't forget, GL, the question he will probably throw out there at you first...why has it been so long since you've graced us with your presence? I haven't been in 2 years, and I'm sure my ob-gyn will be very unhappy with me for it. But if he wants to foot the bill, I'll come everytime he wants me there! Good luck GL on the questions.

-- Posted by mrsdolphin on Sun, Mar 2, 2008, at 11:02 AM

Do they do pap smears or testing like that at the Stoddard County Health Center? I know we got our immunizations there when we were younger,and my grandparents got their flu shots there. Is there anyplace in Stoddard County that does sliding fee scale for people underinsured or uninsured?

Many of my friends lose their parent's health insurance when they graduate from college,and have to choose between car and health insurance,so the car wins. Believe me,when you are making student loan payments,car (not even new) payments,auto insurance,rent,food & utilities on an entry level salary,if an employer doesn't offer benefits,you really can't buy it.

I had to scrape to put new tires on my car,it took forever to save less than $200! Boo hoo,it does suck being a grownup sometimes.

As for GL,hopefully the Q & A portion of your exam will be limited,but if you're questioned about your activities,remember the replies you can give. I think Minnie's "Nope,but the day is young" is a classic.

-- Posted by Yellow Rose of Essex on Mon, Mar 3, 2008, at 9:27 AM

I know here in Dexter, many clinics (or at least the MSH clinic) and the ER at Missouri Southern Healthcare have went to sliding scales. I don't know if my ob-gyn has done so, and I would really prefer to go to him...since he's "seen" me before.

I'm sure most of the ladies understand what I mean about being "seen" by your ob-gyn. I get nervous if I ever have to substitute doctors, especially that kind. In 2003, I had to have my cervix frozen, and staying with the same ob-gyn after situations like that is almost critical.

We had to use our income taxes for new tires YR. I've never gotten a college education, so I'm below entry-level almost everywhere I work. The pay is definetely something to sneeze at.

-- Posted by mrsdolphin on Mon, Mar 3, 2008, at 11:28 AM

I see my doctor toward the end of March and I know we'll have the same fight we have every year. Good to have more verbal amunition at the ready. Yes, paying for it is getting harder and harder. Just paying for the gas to make the trip is getting harder. Ouch.

-- Posted by Ducky on Mon, Mar 3, 2008, at 12:21 PM

Oh, my, why would the doctor have to freeze your cervix?

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Mar 3, 2008, at 8:02 PM

I can't imagine that they'd do pap smears at the Stoddard County Health Center.

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Mar 3, 2008, at 8:03 PM


Actually, they do perform Paps at the County Health Center. Call first(568-4593) to make sure the needed personnel are on hand. If there is a charge, it's minimal. They actually have many useful services for all ages and most are not income-based...it's our tax dollars at work, remember.

-- Posted by bringwine on Mon, Mar 3, 2008, at 10:30 PM

GL, I had to have my cervix frozen to have abnormal (cancerous) cells removed from my cervix. It's become a very common procedure, but I can tell you that it's quite painful...kind of like contractions. Thanks you wine for the info...think I'll have to look into that whether I wanna change docs or not.

-- Posted by mrsdolphin on Mon, Mar 3, 2008, at 11:04 PM

Thanks so much for the info Wine. I haven't been to the Health Center since I was 16 and needed a copy of my birth certificate!

I know a lot of people who have no insurance and they really need to get their exams done.

-- Posted by Yellow Rose of Essex on Tue, Mar 4, 2008, at 10:18 AM

I had to have my cervix frozen too. It really hurt, and you're right...was kind of like contractions. After that I kept having those abnormal cells coming back again and again and then had to have the bottom portion of my cervix cut off (cold-cone). The nasty rascals STILL came back and finally my OB-BYN said let's get it out of there. Way too aggressive...it was quite scary!

-- Posted by Amanda on Thu, Mar 6, 2008, at 2:55 PM

Wow, if you get your cervix taken out, do they have to do an entire hysterectomy, I assume?

This morning is a little depressing for me - CBS is doing a bunch of coverage on Pancreatic cancer, since they learned that Patrick Sweazy (spelling???) has it. That's the cancer that killed my husband. I keep thinking we should have been more insistant that the doctors check out the "new" back pain that he described. The results may have been the same, since that disease is incurable, but at least we could have tried harder...

-- Posted by goat lady on Fri, Mar 7, 2008, at 10:13 AM

Oh my goodness. I forgot and left a pair of earrings in Saturday night. When I woke up Sunday morning the back of the left one was gone!!!!! I didn't find it in my bed, but so far it hasn't shown up in my ear canal. How soon afterwards did you feel it in your ear, Minnie?

Sorry about the pancreatic cancer coverage GL. It must be hard. I know you and your husband did everything you could and everything you thought best at the time. Some times it does absolutely no good to insist to the doctors. They've got their minds made up and they won't be swayed by mere mortals like us patients. You can't beat yourself up over the past. No one deserves to hurt like that more than once.

-- Posted by Ducky on Mon, Mar 10, 2008, at 12:39 PM

Well, Amanda, I haven't been back to my ob-gyn since my last 3 month check-up, so I'm not sure if they came back again or not. I know my "system" has been 10 kinds of messed up as of late...so I really do need to go.

Sorry GL for your sadness. I got somewhat the same notions whenever Heath Ledger killed himself, because my mom did the same last year. It's unreal what will bring up the pain all over again, no matter how long ago it happened.

-- Posted by mrsdolphin on Mon, Mar 10, 2008, at 1:35 PM

I go to the DAEOC there in the Libery Center. My paps are done for $12, and I also get the birth control shot every 3 months, which is also $12.

-- Posted by lilmamma on Wed, Mar 12, 2008, at 4:19 PM

They have a birth control shot now??

-- Posted by goat lady on Wed, Mar 12, 2008, at 8:13 PM

Yep,GL,but the problem is making sure you get it every three months. Like everything, except abstinence and 99% of correct condom use,it is for birth control,not STD prevention.

Some people like the shot better,a lot of older people prefer the new IUD,and of course they brought back "the sponge",made famous by Elaine on Seinfeld.

I think that's why teen pregnancy is down,there are a LOT of choices,but the ignorance is up,so that's why there are more STD's. You really have to wonder any more how "accidental" some pregnancies are,with all the choices and easy access. Boys are just as culpable,you would think with the thought of child support for 18 plus years loomimg over,they would also take advantage of the access to BC.

Have we learned nothing from Maury Povich's every Thursday show,"Which one of Y'all is my Baby Daddy?"

-- Posted by Yellow Rose of Essex on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, at 11:50 AM

Well, well...I am certainly out of the loop. No doubt about that! I guess I should watch Maury more, but one episode makes me wanta shoot myself...so I guess that isn't a good avenue for my sex education... (as if I needed any...)

I had to reschedule my gyno app't, so I can still look forward to the BIG QUESTION: (Are you active???)

-- Posted by goat lady on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, at 6:48 PM


I'm thinking when the big question comes, just tell the doc, "Not yet, but my name and number are on the wall down at the pool hall and I'm expecting my cell phone to vibrate any moment now, so ask me tomorrow."

Oughta teach 'em.

-- Posted by bringwine on Thu, Mar 13, 2008, at 10:27 PM

Good one, bringwine! Now we have two snappy comments from which to choose.

-- Posted by Ducky on Fri, Mar 14, 2008, at 1:30 PM

Yes they have a shot now for BC, but, I don't use it for BC, I've got my tubes tied. I have had surgery for endometriosis and was recommended to get this shot because it stops you from having your "aunt" come to visit every month.

-- Posted by lilmamma on Fri, Mar 14, 2008, at 3:43 PM

Wow!! A bunch of my family members suffer from endometriosis: I had no idea there was help! My sister had to have a hysterectomy because of endometriosis.

Thanks for the good advice for my dr visit, bringwine! That oughta shut him up! Maybe he won't ask next year!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Fri, Mar 14, 2008, at 7:10 PM

The main drawback to getting the shot is the amount of weight you can gain. It makes you wanna eat like a cow. Oh, and if you stop getting it, your "aunt" can come and visit for weeks and weeks if you're not careful.

-- Posted by mrsdolphin on Sat, Mar 15, 2008, at 12:16 AM

Oooh, I always HATED visits from my "aunt..."

Mrsdolphin, how can someone so young have so much information? You and Yellow Rose should start a "Practical Advice" column. Oh, wait, maybe that's what these blogs are!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Mar 16, 2008, at 9:53 PM

Top of the mornin' to Minnie and all my fellow bloggers...I'll be up to my eyeballs in baking soda today whipping up my Irish Soda Bread.

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Mon, Mar 17, 2008, at 8:24 AM

Blimey, Cake Lady, who knew you were Irish?!!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Mar 17, 2008, at 4:28 PM

GL isn't everyone Irish today? And as my dear father used to say "pass the ciste milis please and pour me a spot o' tae".

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Mon, Mar 17, 2008, at 7:48 PM


It's been awhile! I had a wonderful Irish grandmother myself who never asked for just a cup of tea....'twas always "a nice cuppa tea." I recall that at 94, she couldn't figure out from watching TV commercials why anyone would name product using the word, "rotten." Seems she was seeing Kraft packaged "Potatoes AuGratin." With her Irish brogue, she thought they were selling something potatoes that were rotten. Guess it was that rolling "r" thing! Happy St. Patty's to all!

-- Posted by bringwine on Mon, Mar 17, 2008, at 10:31 PM

GL, turns out I'm a glutton for information! The more I can round up and make sense of, the happier I am!

I've always loved reading books, magazines, watching the news, etc. And I try to stay up-to-date on medical product information so I better-know my choices when speaking with doctors about my, my husband's, or my children's treatment options. I've still got lots of info to go!

-- Posted by mrsdolphin on Tue, Mar 18, 2008, at 7:53 AM

I understand "nice cuppa tea," but I don't know what "ciste milis" is!

-- Posted by goat lady on Tue, Mar 18, 2008, at 10:29 PM

Yes, mrsdolphin, you do have a good start on practical medical information. I can only imagine what you'll be like at 80!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Tue, Mar 18, 2008, at 10:32 PM

GL...ciste milis is Gaelic for sweet bread...at least that's what they always told me!

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Wed, Mar 19, 2008, at 8:27 PM

Cake, cake! How did your Irish Soda Bread turn out? It sounds positively vile!! And, did you make any ciste milis?

We must all get together one day at Cake's house for cake and coffee - or tea and ciste milis. But you must promise not to use your "special recipe" on us, dear Cake!

Speaking of which, how is your dear husband...??

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Mar 23, 2008, at 7:13 AM

A wonderful idea, GL, I must extend an invitation to all for refreshments. I have some lovely pastries already prepared. Perhaps we could lure Minnie out for a bite. She seems quite preoccupied lately though...something about her social life calling. What was his name? Sean? It does seem that something (or someone) is taking up a lot of our dear Minnie's time. Perhaps it is time for her loyal followers to stage an intervention - lest she forget us totally.

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Sun, Mar 23, 2008, at 9:38 PM

Dear Cake, you are so, so right!

Perhaps you should whip up a delicate little concoction for that crafty Scotsman, Sean. I fear he has stolen our Minnie away from us, and we all feel the loss most excruciatingly...

(Shhhh...don't let Minnie hear our secret conversations!!! No need to unsettle her sensibilities...Mum's the word!)

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Mar 24, 2008, at 8:23 PM

Hmm. GL posted on Mar 24, but nothing since then. Has anyone seen dear Sean lately? Should I say the late, dearly departed, dear Sean? I notice Minnie has a new blog. Are the two issues related? Inquiring minds want to know.

Hey??? I just noticed when I previewed my comments that it said I posted this on December 31, 1969. Is the internal (infernal) clock having a meno moment?

-- Posted by Ducky on Tue, May 13, 2008, at 12:38 PM

Ahhhhh. Now that the comment is posted the day and time are correct. Maybe its my computer who's having a meno moment.

-- Posted by Ducky on Tue, May 13, 2008, at 12:39 PM

Ducky, it says that everytime I post a comment...and I believe it shows them being posted at 6 a.m. or p.m. Oh well...so long as it's right when it gets here!

-- Posted by mrsdolphin on Tue, May 13, 2008, at 4:12 PM

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