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Monday, Aug. 29, 2016
Never thought I'd own one of those...Posted Tuesday, July 22, 2008, at 11:49 PM
I recall the younger days when I'd see the "elders," (kind of makes me sound like a Mennonite)…using items that I deemed fit only for the truly aged; those who were (I thought) near calling the cemetery 'home.'
Those "oldsters" were probably all of 55'ish at the time. And, I swore that never, no NEVER, would I succumb to the likes of things like bifocals and ankle socks.
Then I blinked and I was one of them. And as a result, I find myself purchasing those very items with which I identified only the aged. I'm not doing it just for fun, mind you, since the purchase or use of such things goes against everything I believe in. I do it out of absolute necessity and desperation, and for a sole reason. I am OLD. I look in my closet and I find shoes that I have purchased not for style, but for comfort, and I am reminded that yes, I am old.
I wear bifocals…now, that's OLD.
I listen to what some kindly call, "soft" music. It's just OLD music and I like it. Sometimes it's old singers re-singing the OLD songs, and that often makes it even better, but not always. Some of those old singers need to realize that they no longer cut the mustard…like Tony Orlando…you can only tie that yellow ribbon so many times and it becomes an old yellowed knot.
I take naps…sometimes not intentionally, but then those are the best ones and that's OLD.
I take vitamins…always counted on the sunshine and enough OJ to grant me my needed supply, but I'm told I now need Flax Seed and Fish Oil, and try as I might, I don't think rubbing that big crappie that almost got away all over my body is going to do the trick. And so, very much like OLD folks do, I take vitamins.
I don't like to drive at night…people just don't see me coming as well as they used to, it seems. The drivers of those approaching cars must be OLD.
I don't like loud music or loud cars. Definitely OLD.
I DO like loud speakers…they don't seem to be as loud as they used to be. Someone must have turned the volume down.
I am in need of one of those chains to wear around my neck to hold onto my glasses…OLDER!
I wear a visor to mow the yard…OLD.
I forget my age…often….but I know I'm OLD.
I also forget where my keys, my vehicle and my grandchildren are, but that's another story. I DO remember the important stuff. My debit card is in my wallet, the box of wine is in the fridge and the Skinny Cows are in the freezer, which reminds me, the supply is getting low…gotta run to that God-forsaken place where the blue gooey mouthed children abound…might get lucky and find a parking spot in the front row!
Anything make you feel OLD?
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