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The former Daily Statesman is now The Dexter Statesman and currently does not have an operating website.

Off hiatus

Posted Tuesday, June 9, 2009, at 5:32 PM

I looked it up, and Webster defines "hiatus" as "a break or interruption in the continuity of a work, series or action," or "a missing part; gap of lucana."

Hmmmmmmmmmm....now I'm going to have to look up "lucana." Forget it. I'll just go along with the missing part bit. That would define why I've been on hiatus. I'm obviously missing a part. While other body parts appear in ample (too ample) supply, part or parts of the brain seem to have taken permanent leave. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it like Elmer's.

So, let's take a look at what has transpired since Minnie's last "post"al visit. We had New Years, during which time I made the usual resolutions to do better in a number of areas. I would have done that if I could just recall what areas they were.

We had Lent and then Easter. I truly labored over what to give up for Lent. Being the devout Catholic that I am, I chose something that is near and dear to my heart (and my thighs). I gave up dieting. It worked well for me.

So, Easter was next on the agenda. Always a wonderful and inspiring season, I believe. And now, so does a four-year-old who is also near and dear. The little dearie I call my granddaughter (when she's "being haved"...that would be the child's version of behaving...long "a"), now attends a Christian daycare, where she seems to have thrived and learned galore. Never ceases to amaze me how totally innocent some little ones can appear to be for total strangers.

Well, at Easter time the lessons within the confines of the daycare turned to the true story of Easter, including the crucifixion, a difficult concept for a four-year-old, one might think. My little one, though, soaked it in like a sponge, becoming somewhat obsessed with the whole concept of driving nails through the hands and feet of someone for whom she has developed a great fondness. Then, at some magical moment, it appears she realized that this was a good thing that happened, in spite of the brutality of it all. And so, she systematically began crucifying anything in sight that would not or could not get away. Thank God the Golden Retriever and her brother are faster than she is.

The ruthless preschooler even went through the motions of nailing Mermaid Barbie to the shower stall. If the water wasn't going to drown the mermaid, it appeared she was going to bleed to death from the wounds.

The ultimate crucifixion transpired the evening of Good Friday, when the child flung herself against the dining room wall as her mother busied herself in the kitchen. With a dramatic display and in a voice that reflected a weakened state of peril, she called out, "I'm dying....I'm dying" and then she slumped into a heap on the floor. With an attention span of about three seconds, however, she "arose," announcing to her invisible audience, "But I'm OK, I have JESUS powers!" and off she went to find another victim and some nails. Life is good.

Moving on to spring... I planted 120 red salvia and found out the next day that I had no business doing that. The years pass and so does any muscle tone I may have ever had. I did try the gym one more time, perhaps just for old times' sake. Like bad cheese, I just needed to toss that idea right out the window. And so, it seems, I have. Let the folds fall where they may....and they have.

It's on to summer! Minnie loves summer. A time to sweat and mow and pull weeds and burn one's skin to a crisp in the sun, scratch mosquito bites, crunch June bugs under bare toes, stick to your car seat, and of course with the approach of summer comes a reminder to go for my annual visit....wait a minute, maybe I don't like summer, but that's a story for another time.

Signing off, but not for another hiatus....

Minnie O'

Showing most recent comments first
[Show in chronological order instead]

Welcome back, fearless leader. You have been sorely missed. As always, loved your blog

-- Posted by Ducky on Wed, Jul 1, 2009, at 12:18 PM

As of this moment none of my grandchildren have crucified anything, but the day is young...lol. They have all done some very interesting things in their young lives though. What a treat to watch their antics and explorations. Welcome back Minnie!!!

-- Posted by SKDellinger on Sat, Jun 27, 2009, at 7:45 AM

Minnie! You're back in spades! Hooray! I too have grandchildren stories to share later. They are a treasure!

120 salvia?! Whatever possessed you to do such a thing????

-- Posted by goat lady on Tue, Jun 16, 2009, at 6:48 AM

Re the salvia: 120??? What were you thinking? Do you at least have a good flowerbed with no grass in it? Way too much of my time is spent fighting the encroaching grass in the flowers I so optimistically planted. It gets hard to find time to smell the roses, literally. (Yes, I do mulch.) Keep enjoying those grandchildren!

-- Posted by gardengirl on Wed, Jun 10, 2009, at 10:44 AM

It's so very good to hear from you again Minnie! We all thought you'd been kidnapped...OR WORSE!

Wonderful, and funny, story as always. Your granddaughter, in particular, gave me a good laugh. Oh the wonders of childhood.

Hope you're not gone so long this time!

-- Posted by mrsdolphin on Wed, Jun 10, 2009, at 8:26 AM

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