It's off to the shores I go

Posted Saturday, August 4, 2007, at 10:09 PM

Although it pains me more than you all (or ya'll) may know, I am compelled at this juncture to depart from the halls of blogging for a few sunsets. There is a sandy beach calling my name..."Minnie, Minnie, come on down and do your beached whale imitation." Can you slap a voice calling one's name? mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I shall return from my much deserved furlough in just half a fortnight with a fresh view (or vue) for you (or yew). In my absence, I hereby entrust this establishment to my dedicated, beanied and boleroed friends, Goat Lady and Cake, in whom I am well pleased.

Adios, Aloha, LOL, DVD, IRS, DWB, etc., etc., etc.

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Oh, Minnie, dear fearless leader, we shall miss you sorely - but we are big enough to say goodbye temporarily and wish you a bon voyage to the beach of your choice!

Okay, cake lady, it's you and me, girl! Gotta keep things going while Minnie is gone!

I, too, have to climb into a swim suit this week, and, I'll tell you - It's not a pretty sight! That little task weighs heavily on my mind.

Any suggestions, girls?

-- Posted by goat lady on Sat, Aug 4, 2007, at 10:27 PM
I am temporarily too sad to comment. We will miss you Minnie. Remember your ointments!

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Sun, Aug 5, 2007, at 9:30 AM
The fallback to cover up the curse of the Little Debbie's is of course a coverup with tight shorts or a caftan like in the old movies.Of course,if you truly want to create amnesia in those around you and your cellulite does not delight-wear a really outrageous brightly colored shirt with a shocking saying or vulgar picture. If anyone dares to comment on your "vulgarity",act really naive and say,"I don't understand dear,it's a pretty color,whatever does this word mean? Is it some young crooner?"

Most people won't want to explain,and now that they are flustered they forgot any figure flaws,they only remember that poor old lady didn't know how nasty her t-shirt was!Yes the laughter will be for something different.

This applies unless you are getting in the water with Richard Simmons or a crew from Dateline.Then,nothing can hide you,just say snidely, "I had my swimsuit custom made at Essex Tent and Awning-want to see how cute my thong is?"

-- Posted by Yellow Rose of Essex on Sun, Aug 5, 2007, at 3:37 PM
Hmmmmm...Minnie is off to a sandy beach...goat lady is packing her bathing suit...Ducky is probably already there...perhaps my invitation is in the mail. That's it - it will come tomorrow. Then again...perhaps this little blog will be in MY hands!!!

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Sun, Aug 5, 2007, at 3:48 PM
Girls, girls, you never disappoint!!

Cake lady, don't get too uppity, girl -- I'm only going on a day trip, so if I come back and you've switched this blog into some Golf Advice for the Athletically challenged Senior Citizen, I'll just have to get my lime green go go boots and do some fancy stompin' on your latest layer cake! (Just kiddin', girl, you know I trust you implicitly!)

Yellow Rose, girlfriend, you are turning into just the most essential advisor that an aging old lady ever had!! I can hardly wait to take your advice about the brightly-colored, yet horribly obscene cover up!!!

I am making a trip to Cape tomorrow to search out all those little weird shops that smell of incense...

If I can't look like Rachel Welch (yes, I know that dates me), then I'll just stage an outlandish distraction!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Aug 5, 2007, at 5:15 PM
P.S....Does anybody know what a "fortnight" is?

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Aug 5, 2007, at 5:15 PM
Alas, as Ducky wasn't born rich instead of so darned good lookin', I don't get to go frolicking in the sand and sun. It's just as well. I don't thing even the Essex Tent and Awning company could handle my order.

Have fun Minnie. I'm sure that the goat and cake ladies will take superb care of your blog in your absence. I.B. LeTruth will probably try valiantly to keep them in line.

-- Posted by Ducky on Sun, Aug 5, 2007, at 7:31 PM
Do not tarry Minnie or all may be lost. I fear mischevious deeds are in the making.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Sun, Aug 5, 2007, at 9:26 PM
...subliminal message: sweets, sweets, sweets, cake, cake, cake, cake. Before the fortnight a new blog will be born. In the meantime, I must bake a little something for my friend, LeTruth.

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Mon, Aug 6, 2007, at 8:03 AM
Hahaha!! Don't make the cake TOO strong, Cake -- We just want to weaken him, not kill him! His masculine point of view just serves to make our own femalism more powerful!!

And, don't forget - Ducky and I have absolute confidence in your ability and good taste. We know that you have what it takes to babysit Minnie's blog with impeccable style and class!

You are, after all, clones to the bone!

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Aug 6, 2007, at 8:49 AM
Please, Cake, we don't need to be reminded of the delights of sweets!

-- Posted by gardengirl on Mon, Aug 6, 2007, at 10:09 AM
Hmmmm...clones to the bone...that has a nice ring to it. I wonder if a hostile takeover will be necessary. Perhaps not, if everyone uses the subliminal cake, cake, cake, cake...

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Mon, Aug 6, 2007, at 11:21 AM
Oh boy! Just to be on the safe side, I.B., you'd better not eat any cake until Minnie gets back unless it is prepared under your direct personal supervision. Ha.

-- Posted by Ducky on Mon, Aug 6, 2007, at 11:53 AM
I think it has a nice ring to it, too!

Clones to the bone!!!

Clones to the bone!!

Yes, I do believe that a hostile takeover will not be necessary! I shall help you, dear Minnie Clone! And I feel sure that Ducky will support us wholeheartedly.

As for Yellow Rose, that sweet, creative young thing, I think she will follow our direction in her own wildly eccentric fashion...

Now, there's just I.B. LeTruth to kill off....er...to shut down...er...to squelch...er...to invite to our happy birthday party with special cake!!!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Aug 6, 2007, at 6:04 PM
I appreciate the invitation and am sincerely disapointed that I will not be able to attend what I am sure will be a grand affair. I am sorry to say that I will be pre-occupied at a previously accepted engagement to sniff out the hotnes of the attendees at a chili supper.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Mon, Aug 6, 2007, at 7:45 PM
It's too hot for chili suppers! Could that be a feeble excuse to avoid the perils of Cake lady's famous confection?

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Aug 6, 2007, at 9:57 PM
Never, I am so sorry to miss a birthday party and I am sure that the cake will be delicious. I just know it is to die for.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Mon, Aug 6, 2007, at 10:56 PM
Oh, Truthy, we would be happy to reschedule for you...please forward your schedule and we will be more than happy to accomodate.

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Tue, Aug 7, 2007, at 9:31 AM
Yes! Yes! We will reschedule!! Happy to do it! Least we can do for one of our most loyal bloggers, right, Cake?

You can make Mr. Truthy a nice, COOL, refrigerator cake....with lovely frothy icing... Yum, yum, doesn't that sound good for a hot summer day??? Much more enticing than that 'ole hot chili!!

Chocolate is twice as nice!

Just keep repeating...."Cool cake, cool cake, coooool caaaaaaake...."

-- Posted by goat lady on Tue, Aug 7, 2007, at 5:14 PM
You got it Goat Lady, my friend...I'm sure Mr. Truthy will come around. I have just the right delicacy in mind. Remember the subliminal...coooooool, caaaaaaaaake...yummmmmmmm...

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Tue, Aug 7, 2007, at 5:58 PM
Sounds like it's an angel food cake recipe for me. One that would have me floating in the clouds. Not yet prepared to enjoy such delights.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Tue, Aug 7, 2007, at 11:02 PM
Hahahaha! Well, cake lady, our tempting ruse hasn't been successful. Mr. Truthy still lingers on the outskirts of the clearing, leary of crossing into the open.

It would seem that he isn't as open to new experiences as your five husbands have been... God rest their souls...

-- Posted by goat lady on Wed, Aug 8, 2007, at 7:32 AM
Looks like we'll have to allow Mr. Truthy to linger a while...but he may find, due to the power of our subliminal femalism thinking, that he's feeling a bit of a craving.

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Wed, Aug 8, 2007, at 6:33 PM
Devil's food cake with creamy chocolate icing....cool, cool, cake....

...You are getting sleeeeeepy....veerry sleeeeepy....

-- Posted by goat lady on Wed, Aug 8, 2007, at 8:21 PM
Minnie where are you? Treacherous deeds are being cooked up in your absence. I fear for the future of "man" kind.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Wed, Aug 8, 2007, at 10:15 PM
Oh, come now, Le Truth, a plot against "man"kind?? Who would believe such an outlandish idea? Not even our dear glorious leader Minnie could support such a blatant piece of paranoia!

Cake lady and I are just wanting to invite our very best blogger to a little appreciation party, given to cheer ourselves up until our fearless leader returns....

How can you suspect our innocent motives??

-- Posted by goat lady on Thu, Aug 9, 2007, at 7:10 AM
I have suspicions that Minnies rest and relaxation may be more of the deep and restful sleep nature from consumption of sweet sweet cake.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Thu, Aug 9, 2007, at 7:25 AM
Just how long did Minnie say she was going to be gone? I just looked. Half a fortnight. Jeeze. How long is a fortnight?

Hurry back Minnie. I.B. may be in danger of going into sugar shock from all these subliminal cake messages. Hang in there Truthy!

-- Posted by Ducky on Thu, Aug 9, 2007, at 12:14 PM
I've been sleepy all day.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Thu, Aug 9, 2007, at 4:49 PM
ACK!! I just looked it up! A fortnight is TWO WEEKS!!! "Half a fortnight" is a WEEK!!

Ohh, what do I mean, "ACK"?? I meant to say, "AHHHH!!! How nice!!!" Now the cake lady and I have much more time in which to implement our culinary program!

And, Ducky, dear wayward fowl, I thought you were on OUR SIDE?? What do you mean by trying to protect that I.B. Truthy rapscallion??

Mmm....maybe we should make a Happy Birthday Ducky Cake???

-- Posted by goat lady on Thu, Aug 9, 2007, at 6:11 PM
Goat Lady, we may have a problem. Do you have any recipes for duck food?

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Thu, Aug 9, 2007, at 9:57 PM
Ducky, I fear you have ruffled the goat fur and increased the potion of the cake mix. Calling me things that I don't know what they are is unfair. Poor Minnie, only a wayward fowl and an unknown surely moral animal of some sort called a rapscallion to patiently and longingly await her return while performing as sentinels for her blog.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Thu, Aug 9, 2007, at 10:52 PM
Never fear, my dear Cake! We used to have a family of ducks out here in the hills, and I found them much like pigs, in that they would eat ANYTHING! I particularly remember that they liked bread crumbs and ice cream cones.

I'm sure they would even eat a rapscalllion, if they could catch it.

-- Posted by goat lady on Fri, Aug 10, 2007, at 7:12 AM
Must run to the Minnie Mart for some bread crumbs and ice cream cones.

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Fri, Aug 10, 2007, at 10:25 AM
Sorry I've been away and left you even more defenseless in my absence Truthy. This heat has been too much for a poor little duck. I had to repair to my fainting couch with cold compresses and smelling salts. The cowardly and vicious attack on my duckness by a silly goat didn't help the stress situation.

Never fear. I'm back with a new airconditioner in my computer room and I'm loaded for goat.

-- Posted by Ducky on Sat, Aug 11, 2007, at 9:48 PM
Do I detect a crack in our femalism defenses?? Minnie, dear, you must return to this blog and reunite our forces behind your gloriousness! How Mr. Truthy must be gloating over our disunity!

I'm being stalked by a gun-toting duck!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sat, Aug 11, 2007, at 9:55 PM
Welcome back Ducky and Minnie. Now the skallywags will surely subsist with their subliminal attempts to attain my pre-mature demise. Ducks rule. Goats drule.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Sat, Aug 11, 2007, at 11:21 PM
Cake lady, we must mount the defenses!! The enemy is threatening to broach the castle walls!

That rapscallion I.B. LeTruth has joined forces with the most dastardly duck in the realm! I have marshalled all the goats at my disposal to stand watch on the ramparts, but I fear an aerial assault!

No one impunes my goats! THIS IS WAR!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Aug 12, 2007, at 8:47 AM
Did someone declare WAR while I was asleep???? Zounds!!!

Ok. Sir Truthy, noble knight of the realm, you are in charge of the ground assault. You shall roll out the trebuchet and chunk punkins o're the parapets. I shall mount the aerial assault and strafe them with cantaloupes, honeydews and other sundry melons.

We shall pummel them into submission with overripe fruit.

-- Posted by Ducky on Sun, Aug 12, 2007, at 9:03 AM
Goat Lady! Ducky is talking about trebuchets and parapets!! I fear we are in deep trouble. I will disregard the heat and start baking. You know our motto - kill them with kindness!!!

We will not be pummelled!

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Sun, Aug 12, 2007, at 11:08 AM
Ducky, I was in fear that you had been placed under the deep and restful subliminal sleep of the blog vandals. I am happy to report that the rightful owner has valiantly returned from a much deserved rest and all is well. You may light in the pond and rest your wings but keep an ever watchful eye on the reeds for the slithering serpents who harbor evil intent. The pumpkin chunker shall remain at the ready for the assault if the need should arise. Conceal the melons for the goats may consume your arsenal. Stay awake and eat no cake. Should they persist we will shock and awe.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Sun, Aug 12, 2007, at 4:28 PM
i'm huuuuuuunnnnnnnnngggggggrrrrrrryyyyy....i'm hhhhhuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnggggggggrrrrrryyyyyyyyy....

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Sun, Aug 12, 2007, at 6:28 PM
Yes, cake lady!!!! Use the subliminal!!

Caaaaaakkkkkkee! SWEEEEEEEEEEET cake!!!

Watch out for the pumpkin and sundry melon assault from the sky!!!

My goats are on the ready! They shall devour each melon before it hits the ground!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Aug 12, 2007, at 8:21 PM
HA! Your cakes shall not tempt me, nor shall your goats triumph! Ducky will fly an ever-watchful vigil over Minnie's blog and Truthy will keep the trebuchet oiled and ready to ensure that our beloved leader will stay firmly in charge. Oh, and that "man" kind will always be allowed on her blog.

-- Posted by Ducky on Sun, Aug 12, 2007, at 8:32 PM
Ducky, you fowl, traitorous turncoat! Since when have you been in the vanguard of the "man" kind movement??

I.B. has won you over with his sad, anti-cake stories and tales of manly persecution!

Shock and awe, indeed!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Aug 12, 2007, at 9:24 PM

Minne O'Pausal's response:
Truce... (double-posted to insure that all bloggers, bloggees, bloggettes are witness)...

Oh, it was a wonderfully adventurous face-off today in the hills of Tillman. There was Goat Lady with her pseudo-ferocious bearded friends, and the temptress, Cake, in all her subliminalocity (yep, another Minnie coined wordage) and with her contemptuous baked items about, and Ducky, with ice cream cone crumbs in her ruffled feathers, and finally Yellow Rose with all her "armpit" wisdom. And there was I.B. (is that for Intimidating Bravado?)�with his defenses up, but his dobber down.

Together they faced off in a war of words absent of trebuchets and with no "punkins" chunked, except those kicked up by the heals of hungry goats as they scavenged the remains.

No gloating, only goating�no melons of malice.

They agreed to disagree as to who rules, maleism or femalism, with the understanding that our solo maleism specimen be allowed to contribute his male-ified theories in spite of being outnumbered from the start (a maleism trait to be commended in itself). It was agreed to hold our melons, our cake recipes and our tongues, in the name of peace. (not "piece," as in cake).

And about the time all agreed to peacefully disburse, came a disturbance from atop the hillside within sight of the "bout." It was none other than Minnie herself, showing evidence of her initial layer of skin molting as a result of her recent Gulf excursion and donned in her best chiffon babushka. All were witness to her (my) rushing trek downhill, all the while fending off the mysterious Tillman UFA (unidentified foreign animal�see Madeline's blog). At the inference of my fate being in danger (or endangered), the aforementioned joined forces and came to Minnie's (my) rescue, much to the dismay of the spectating goats at hand, at which time said goats dropped in a dead faint, hence living up to their given name, and thereby feigning off the mysterious Tillman hyena-like creature.

My thanks are extended to all attendees, blogees and bloggers and the blogless.

Sometimes, in the name of peace (or a piece of cake), we just have to agree to disagree!

P.S. All the stress of the day has forced me to indulge in the consumption of ample amounts of chocolate, which has the ill affect of making all of my clothes shrink by morning. Can't figure out the connection.
Truce!! Our glorious leader has called a truce!!!

Cake lady, gather up the remnants of your poisoned blog cakes, so that my innocent goatlings do not become accidental victims of our enmity....

I shall retrieve all the goats and pen them in a secure holding area.

As for me, I believe I shall retire to my castle tower for an exhausted sleep before I document this tale into a children's book...

Good to have you back, great leader!

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Aug 13, 2007, at 7:29 AM
Pelase don't be stingy with the royalties oh great and wonderous goat lady. I am sure Ducky would love to line her nest with green paper as would I.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Mon, Aug 13, 2007, at 5:54 PM
As soon as we procure an illustrator for our fanciful Medieval tale of feathered bombadeers and cloven-footed ramparteers, I shall enter into negotiations with the publisher!

I'm sure there will be green paper enough for all participants of the Great Blog Battle of the Century!

Be thinking of a title...

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Aug 13, 2007, at 6:25 PM
"The Melons of Malice"...???

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Aug 13, 2007, at 6:28 PM
Do not be swayed by sweet-talking Truthy, Goat Lady - the turncoat's about face seems a bit sudden to me...do you detect a distinct change of attitude following your discussion of royalties? Be wary.

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Mon, Aug 13, 2007, at 6:52 PM
A truce is a wonderful idea. Goat lady is so much more clever than I am, I was running out of things to say. Sorry, Truthy. You did a great job with the trebuchet.

Does anyone know any good recepies for left-over, unlaunched melons? Maybe letseatcake can devise a melon flavored cake????

-- Posted by Ducky on Mon, Aug 13, 2007, at 9:24 PM
Yes, money is the root of all friendship. Visions of richness and friends a million overwhelm me. Book royalties and maybe a restaurant filled with special punkin pies. Air delivered cake via winged speedy duck or trebuchet thrown fruit pie. Fermented melon juice potion delivered via goat cart. With the cake ladies recipe we will have pastries to die for.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Mon, Aug 13, 2007, at 11:01 PM
Mmmmm....I think I like it. What do you think, Cake Lady?

-- Posted by goat lady on Tue, Aug 14, 2007, at 7:41 AM
It appears the ruffled goat fur has been softened and a truce seems to be forthcoming. I for one am willing to accept the olive branch, provided it has not been marinated in fermented melon juice. Our happy family appears to be intact. Our esteemed leader Minnie must be proud!

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Tue, Aug 14, 2007, at 8:42 AM

Minne O'Pausal's response:
Proud as punch!!
Alright, on with the book and bakery or restaurant. Who is cooking? Not me, we will sell nothing. I can drive the goat wagon as long as the fermented melon juice lasts.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Tue, Aug 14, 2007, at 5:14 PM
It's obvious that Cake Lady should cook, but she must not visit the pharmacy beforehand....

I think we're all imminently qualified to write the book, I notice.. Such lovely prose I have never seen before in my life!

(eminently...? emminently?..eminnently..? Why the heck can I not spell anymore??? The English language is beginning to look like Greek!!)

Anyway, we all write darn good!

-- Posted by goat lady on Tue, Aug 14, 2007, at 9:35 PM
I understand most of it. I think I at least get the general gist of the conversation and its hilarious and we all need laughs. Can we be charged as accesories if cake lady slips a little potion into the sweet chocolate cakes.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Tue, Aug 14, 2007, at 11:06 PM

Minne O'Pausal's response:
I.Beeeee..

I believe you can be charged as an accessory by association, kind of like wearing white pumps after Labor Day...oh, wait, different accessory. Anyway, yes, you are elibible for charges, but that's the price you may have to pay for being allowed to "associate" with the best...trust me..we're worth it (kind of like Loreal, but moreso).

m o'
I think you are right, it is worth it. In cake ladies case it might be better to be an accessory than to be the accesorized.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Wed, Aug 15, 2007, at 10:12 PM
Gracious! What a stir has been created about my culinary capabilities! Such rumors are, of course, totally unfounded. Why, even our beloved Minnie knows how my husbands all loved my desserts. My visits to the pharmacy were purely for medicinal purposes.

-- Posted by letseatcake633 on Wed, Aug 15, 2007, at 10:15 PM
Indeed, Cake Lady! Your husbands obviously benefited enormously from your kind, caring attention!

I think it's a very fitting conclusion for all those men who are out there looking for a cute little thing who can COOK!! Oh, my, gotta cook!! And clean house!

Who needs 'em??

-- Posted by goat lady on Thu, Aug 16, 2007, at 6:16 PM

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