Dexter Daily Statesman

What were we fighting over?

Posted Friday, July 27, 2007, at 10:40 AM
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I'm a little tired today, and still trying to recover from a recent outbreak of shingles (yes, you heard me right) so I'm going to keep the mood a little lighter today.

Mostly I'm tired from staying up half the night (literally) arguing with my husband. He wasn't feeling good and was spoiling for a fight anyway, so being the good wife I am … I obliged him.

The sad part is that I don't think either one of us remembers exactly what we were arguing about.

Ever had that happen to you with a spouse or significant other? You end up in an hours-long verbal sparring match and at the end you can't even remember what started it?

I think sometimes that a well-orchestrated argument is healthy for a relationship, as long as they don't occur on a daily basis. I think that is the problem of a lot of young people getting married today, they think that marriage is all happy and wonderful, something like the ending of Cinderella. They really don't realize that marriage is something you have to work at and some days you just really don't like your spouse -- love them, yes … like them, no. Being married is wonderful, but those of you who have been married for a decade or more know what I'm talking about.

So, share your memories of spectacularly stupid fights or your thoughts on why so many marriages end today in divorce. I'd like to have some other opinions out there!

Comments
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This was such a really great blog topic - I'm sorry we couldn't keep it going longer!

-- Posted by goat lady on Thu, Aug 16, 2007, at 8:49 PM

Shingles, huh? You know what they say...what comes around, goes around.

-- Posted by happyhappyday on Thu, Aug 16, 2007, at 5:35 PM

Sense of adventure I have, it's using my sense of smell in such a manner that concerns me.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Tue, Aug 7, 2007, at 11:08 PM

Aw, c'mon, I.B.! Tons of psychological research can't be wrong!!

What a party pooper! Have you no sense of adventure?

-- Posted by goat lady on Tue, Aug 7, 2007, at 5:25 PM

Ok, I got it. We are going to determine HOT by smell, like my old dog does. Not a good visual gl. I'll pass.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Mon, Aug 6, 2007, at 6:55 PM

Not that I've ever smelled Sean Connery...

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Aug 5, 2007, at 10:13 PM

Nahhhh......HOT doesn't really have much to do with looks. It's an attitude.

And what about pheromones? I've heard that men and women are attracted to each other by smell!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Sun, Aug 5, 2007, at 10:11 PM

You all know whats hot. I seen or read the comments about Sean Connery, Paul Newman and the other guys in the other blog. Quit joshin me. You know there is a difference. Maybe my wife thinks I am hot, but I sure wouldn't want her to go on tour alone with Elvis. Would you want to let your husband spend time alone with Katherine Zeta Jones or Jennifer Lopez. I bet you my wife wouldn't want me to do that even though I would like to think that I could control myself. I and she knows they are HOT!!! My wife might think I am hot, but I know hot comes in degrees. A camp fire is hot, but a whole different level than the sun.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Fri, Aug 3, 2007, at 11:27 PM

I would suggest that beauty (HOT) is in the eye of the beholder?? Mr. Truth?, maybe your wife thinks you are HOT???? Is that possible? I know that my spouse is "hot" in my eyes but might not be in someone elses.

-- Posted by D.W.B. on Fri, Aug 3, 2007, at 1:19 PM

Oooooohhhhh! Passion without sex! How sweet!!! I want a double order, please!!

-- Posted by goat lady on Thu, Aug 2, 2007, at 9:07 PM

I don't know D.W.B., passion and HOT to me are two different things. HOT, I'm not and never have been in appearance and I think that is the H-O-T that Yellow Rose was talking about. What I am saying is that it is about more than the H-O-T. The H-O-T will definetly go away. If it is about the H-O-T then my wife has been fooling herself and me for many years. If the passion is there without the H-O-T then it is something else. At least in my case and a whole lot of guys like me and we don't care how H-O-T you ladies think a guy is, not gettin the phone number.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Mon, Jul 30, 2007, at 7:56 PM

dwb,

So well said. Some of the greatest passion I've known did not involve sex and some of the greatest sex I've known did not involve passion. A "meeting in the middle" might be nice!

-- Posted by bringwine on Mon, Jul 30, 2007, at 6:39 PM

I.B. I would submit that Love without passion ("the hot") in a partnership where the one who does not give passion, has found someone or something else to give their passion too, other than the current partner. Remember that passion does not always equal sex

-- Posted by D.W.B. on Mon, Jul 30, 2007, at 12:18 PM

You are welcome.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Sat, Jul 28, 2007, at 9:20 PM

Trust me I am! Thanks I.B- that was very poignant.I think I will bother to store that in the old noggin'.

-- Posted by Yellow Rose of Essex on Sat, Jul 28, 2007, at 4:05 PM

So true, I.B. The first stuff is infatuation. But didn't it feel good while it lasted??

So just enjoy it, Yellow Rose....

-- Posted by goat lady on Fri, Jul 27, 2007, at 10:47 PM

Neither, love comes after the hot burns out and turns to ash.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Fri, Jul 27, 2007, at 9:43 PM

Sacha Champion's response:

That was so well said, I. B.!!! Couldn't have said it better myself!!

My boyfriend is H-O-T. I mean smokin',even straight guys give him their phone number hot. We've dated for two years,and I wonder, does crazy in love ever get replaced with just crazy?

I don't use his cell phone like lojack,keeping up with his every move all day as I have seen some girls.We don't treat each other like we are parole officers, but I wonder if maybe crazy comes before love, or can crazy come after love grows cold?

-- Posted by Yellow Rose of Essex on Fri, Jul 27, 2007, at 4:27 PM

I remember one particular disagreement. With my husband, I could never call it a "fight," because he just didn't co-operate. I was clanging pots and pans in the kitchen (not my favorite place, anyway), and he was sitting in his recliner, pretending to watch television, silent as usual.

Finally, I came to the doorway and said, "Am I not going to be able to pick a fight with you??!"

I think he said something like, "Well, you're sure trying hard enough!"

I look back on that now and think how much I wish he were still in that chair, not fighting with me......

We don't appreciate what we have, until it's gone.....

-- Posted by goat lady on Fri, Jul 27, 2007, at 2:51 PM