Dexter Daily Statesman

Is losing a daughter enough?

Posted Monday, August 27, 2007, at 10:36 AM
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Tragically, a seven-month-old baby died last week in St. Louis after being left in a vehicle by both of her parents.

Outside temperatures were around 95 degrees, but officials say the temperature inside the vehicle topped 140 degrees.

A passerby spotted the child inside the locked vehicle and smashed out a window in an effort to try to save the child.

Now, for me, here's the kicker: the mother is a pediatrician and the father is a researcher, both work for Washington University. Somehow, the mother asked the father to drop the child off at daycare and he was under the impression he was just to park the vehicle for her. She was late to a meeting and was in a rush, and during the short time span the two were in the vehicle together, the mother made no mention of the baby, who was in her rear-facing car seat.

Officials are unsure at this point whether any charges will be filed against the couple. They also have a five-year-old son.

I do not want to bash these people. They have suffered a great loss and my heart goes out to them. However, should something this negligent go unpunished?

I can see forgetting the ice cream in the back seat or forgetting to drop off an extra change of clothing to the babysitter or cleaners. But can it really be that easy to forget your child in the back seat? Wouldn't you see the baby as you got out of the vehicle and walked away?

Especially for a pediatrician, who I'm sure tells her clients on a daily basis how hazardous it is to leave children in a car unattended, even for just a few minutes. These people obviously aren't uneducated people.

I definately do not believe that either parent had the intent to harm their child or committed this act on purpose. Absolutely not. But, should they be allowed to walk away without facing at least a misdemeanor child endangerment charge?

I'm not sure. I think they have already paid a great price by losing their daughter. What are your thoughts on the issue?

Comments
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Wow, that's an interesting point!

-- Posted by goat lady on Mon, Sep 10, 2007, at 7:58 PM

I guess all new vehicles have an alarm system on them. Motion sensors are really very cheap. You could shut them off if you didn't want to use them. I don't see why it couldn't be done.

I guess they are worried more about someone stealing the car than the children.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Sun, Sep 9, 2007, at 9:16 AM

I agree with Mr.LeTruth.What an excellent concept-a useful gadget,right up there with back-up sounds and cameras.This would sell.I also wonder why you couldn't put some sort of wireless video system,to keep checking on your vehicle with a handheld monitor,but that might encourage some idiots to keep their pets and kids in the car while they run in "just for a minute" to a store!

I think something else that would help any carowner,is a solar powered fan that could keep the temperature reasonable in a car. I saw them test one on Ch.12,but like so many TV products,it was junk.

It's all heartbreaking, I hate it for all concerned!

-- Posted by Queen of Essex on Sat, Sep 8, 2007, at 11:54 AM

It is heartbreaking isn't it.

Let's have the auto industry help us out a little. How about putting some type of alarm on the inside of cars. After five minutes if something moves inside an alarm goes off. If these are truly accidents, this would help.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Sat, Sep 8, 2007, at 9:15 AM

In the news another child dies when left in the car by her Assistant Prinicpal Mother.

See interview and security camera footage on yahoo.com. What's your thoughts?

-- Posted by grits_hominey on Sat, Sep 8, 2007, at 8:30 AM

I could argue my opinion till I was blue in the face just like the rest of you could. I agree some what with just about everyone who has posted. Every situation is different. I just believe this one could of been prevented. Maybe we will all remember this little girl & slow down a bit. Everyone have a GREAT Labor Day weekend.

-- Posted by PapaOf4 on Fri, Aug 31, 2007, at 8:30 AM

Sacha, I am sorry to have to disagree with part of your statement, "If we as a society are so "busy" that we begin killing off our own children", and also your calling her the "forgotten child". Was that the parents intent to "kill off" their child? Was she forgotten? I don't think so. Like you, I am not trying to argue; but to only go by the facts of what the news stations and the paper have stated. To my understanding, correct me if I am wrong, was't it said that the father misunderstood the mother? How is that negligent or murder? It was a simple miscommunication not a lack of communication. It seems as if there are "law do gooders" out here who would love to see them hang. To answer PapaOf4's question, I would not seek justice of this kind if they had "Accidentally" done this to either of my children. I am sure the torment they would have to live through would be enough conviction. I am a single mother of 2, both born with birth defects and each are my pride and joy's. Had it been done in calloused cold blooded murder then, well... the police or courts wouldn't have to worry about trying to convict anyone BUT me for snuffing their live's out. I just think that people sometimes over look the obvious just to make a case in court. This child was not "killed off" or "forgotten", nor will she ever be forgotten now. I honestly feel sorry for the parents having to deal with all the people out there wanting them to go down for murder. It just doesn't make any sense and I again will ask, "Where is the humanity"?

-- Posted by sweet on Thu, Aug 30, 2007, at 9:45 AM

Sacha Champion's response:

All I can say to that, Sweet, is to each his own. Everyone will have their own opinion on this and it's great to hear yours.

Accidents happened even when we were in the basics as you call it. In my parents, my grand parents, my great grandparents and in my great great grandparents generation. I am sure they said the same thing. I feel that my parents did act with a little more compassion and understanding than we have today though.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Thu, Aug 30, 2007, at 12:40 AM

I suppose the question is not about the poor child who died -- it's about the child they still have. Sure, mom and dad will feel guiltly, rightly so, but I'd hazard a guess that little guy is going to feel guilty, too, because he didn't die.

It just makes me wonder. What if that mom and dad were working at the Wal-Mart and this happened? Their fannies would be smack behind bars, that's what and the boy would be in a foster home.

Just another example of the golden rule -- he who has the gold makes the rules.

Folks, we're just too danged busy! For the good of the kids (who are way over-scheduled anyway) we somehow need to slow down and smell the proverbial roses.

This dour Scot is getting of the soapbox now. Just my take on it.

-- Posted by scotswoman on Tue, Aug 28, 2007, at 10:14 PM

Sacha Champion's response:

That's they way I feel about it, too, I think Scotswoman. If we as a society are so "busy" that we begin killing off our own children, that should be a major sign that we all need to slow down and "get back to basics" in a sense!

I guess I just don't respect THE LAW as much as some of you do. I've heard talk of "the spirit of the law," and "the letter of the law," and I guess I'm more of a "spirit" than a "letter" person. And sometimes I'm just a plain old anti-law person...if there is such a thing..

Ultimately, there's just one judge those parents have to face.

-- Posted by goat lady on Tue, Aug 28, 2007, at 9:02 PM

Sacha Champion's response:

So true, Goat Lady, so very, very true!

I SO agree with I.B. Truth above. To have to face a lifetime of guilt ought to be punishment enough for this couple. Yes, they were negligent, but not with intent, which is the heart of the matter. I'm sure they have suffered enough for two lifetimes over the past few days. If I thought that a sentence for either of them might prevent pain for others or a reoccurance, I might be inclined to say to proceed with charges, but I don't believe charges would serve any purpose. A felony conviction would result in pulling the mother's medical license to practice and what purpose would that serve, really?

-- Posted by bringwine on Tue, Aug 28, 2007, at 5:11 PM

I knew a lady when I lived in another state who accidentally ran her car into a group of children while they were waiting for a bus. It was raining, her shoes were wet, her foot slipped off the break and onto the gas pedal, the road was slick, etc.. No kids were killed, but several were hurt badly. They never charged her with anything and the families never sued because she lost her mind and was never right again. The guilt literally drove her crazy.

-- Posted by Ducky on Tue, Aug 28, 2007, at 3:14 PM

Several years ago, I knew a wonderful, close-knit family, which included the grandmother and grandfather, who lived in the big farm home with the others. One of the great tragedies of their lives is that during a construction project, the grandfather accidently backed a truck over his 3-year-old granddaughter, while she was playing in a construction sandpile.

It happened almost 50 years ago, but the family still suffered. I so admired them for the way they were able to put their suffering into some sort of order, so that they could continue to be a loving family.

Punishment won't bring back those children. The families just have to find some way to continue living.

-- Posted by goat lady on Tue, Aug 28, 2007, at 7:52 AM

Sacha Champion's response:

You are so right Goat Lady! Punishing them won't bring their daughter back and that is something they are going to have to live with forever. But here's another point, if someone is driving a car and accidentally hits and kills a pedestrian, most people would expect them to be charged with a crime. Even though it wasn't something they did on purpose and they have to live with the fact that they killed someone the rest of their life. I'm not sure that this situation is any different. A life was lost due to gross negligence on the part of the two adults. I'm not arguing because I believe you have a very good, valid point � but I also think that someone should stand up for the little girl who was "forgotten" because her parents have such "busy lives."

As the father of 4 adorable children I can't imagine losing one, especially do to my neglect. There is nothing any judge can do to them to make them fell any worse then they already do. But with that said they should still be held accountable for their actions. If they were watching your child & made that mistake I bet you would want them to face punishment. I know I would.

-- Posted by PapaOf4 on Tue, Aug 28, 2007, at 12:23 AM

Sacha Champion's response:

Good point! I do feel badly for the family and can't imagine the pain you would feel at losing a child. If I lost my Hailey, I don't know what I would do. But I still think that this was a completely avoidable situation. It could easily have been a friend of their 5 year old that they forgot in the car.

How in the world could you punish them any more than what I am sure the rest of their life will be like. Living will probably be a punishment.

I have seen cases where people have driven off with the child in the car seat on top of the car.

-- Posted by I.B. Le Truth on Mon, Aug 27, 2007, at 9:44 PM

Broke the law??? It was an accident wasn't it? Did you not say the mother asked the father to drop the child off at daycare and mistakenly dropped the car off instead? I am sorry for this incident BUT please tell me what law was broken?? A misunderstanding law??? Yes, this family has enough to deal with regarding this tragedy, without being ridiculed by the public and or facing any charges. Where has the humanity in this world gone too?

-- Posted by sweet on Mon, Aug 27, 2007, at 1:04 PM

Sacha Champion's response:

Technically, the law would be child endangerment or even child neglect. Things like this are a big part of why those laws were created. But that's not said to argue with your viewpoint, just to answer your question. I'm still not sure where I stand on this issue myself, but I do think both parents were horribly negligent in the care of their young daughter and to me that translates to more than just a "misunderstanding."

They broke the law. They deserve punishment just the same as anyone else.

-- Posted by luckyone on Mon, Aug 27, 2007, at 12:12 PM