If they are in their right mind and wish to die, then let them figure out just how and when of their own method. People are sadly choosing to end their life every day. There are all kinds of reasons for this happening from medication to illnesses to depression, etc. You said that they are injecting themselves, so is this machine just a profit for the German to make a "killing" off of already terminal people? Suffering is part of everyone's life in some sort of way or another. I don't think there should be an offer to help them commit suicide. Why does it always have to be a religious decision? Does anyone have common sense/a sense of right from wrong?

I'm sorry for your loss too, mrsdolphin. I lost my own dear mother two years ago last month. It doesn't seem possible that it was so long ago. It's something you never get over, even when it's from more natural causes than suicide. You just learn to hang on.

On the subject of choosing suicide I have much more mixed emotions. I came home from work once long ago and found my roommate hanging on the back of her bedroom door. I never knew why and I felt like I had somehow let her down. No note. To this day I can't enter a darkened room if there is any resistance on the door. At that time I was of the opinion that suicide wasn't an acceptable option, but I didn't see it as cowardly. None of us know what is going on in a person's soul to drive them to such a drastic decision. Only God knows their hearts and I think He understands.

Since then I've had to watch various family members die from various cancers, COPD & heart disease, and other illnesses. Mom hung on for two years in unremitting pain. They all suffered long, drawn out, painful deaths. At the end, their deaths were like a blessing from God. We would go to jail if we made a DOG suffer like that, but we're forced to do it to our loved ones. Shame on our system.

When my time comes, as it will, I hope and pray that I have a compassionate doctor who will help me ease from this life into the next one (a better one to all accounts). To that end I have written a living will - an advanced directive - that says when all hope for quality of life is gone do nothing to prolong my life. It's not much, but it's all that's legal right now.

I hope things change. I hope I have the opportunity to pull my own plug when all that's left me is hopeless, enduring pain.

Swift...you've made me think. Thank you for that. I've been so angry, and upset, and apparently selfish, that I never even thought to think a/b just what my mom may have been going through. It's been very difficult dealing as it is...and I guess I felt I deserved to be selfish...but what you made me think a/b was the fact that maybe, when a person comes to that point, whether it be from pain, depression, what have you...maybe it drives you to insanity. Maybe that feeling right before taking your own life is insanity in it's truest form.

Which, my emotions are still fresh...I haven't quite sorted through them...but I think a discussion on here would probably help me get past it...and maybe even understand things a bit better. I'm still stuck on it being cowardly...but I think that's my anger and lack of understanding. Thanks for your understanding everyone...your condolences are very much appreciated...because it's greatest when you don't feel alone.

Grati Tude, you are so right. I'm a control freak. And if it came down to an instance that I couldn't control, I would still do everything in my power to try and control it!

I'm sure this is how a lot of people end up committing suicide...even if they've never believed in it before. That's one thing I've said about my mom frequently...I would hate to think of what state of mind she was in to do that to herself...and I would never want to feel that way myself. The only thing that angers me anymore is having the beliefs I have, and knowing that I won't see her on the other side, so to speak. Though what she did was selfish (or so I believe), I almost can't blame her, because I can't honestly say what I would do in her situation.

But I also agree with Grati Tude...someone in that state of mind (especially being that you can't write your will if you aren't of sound mind) shouldn't be able to make that decision because they may not make that same decision otherwise.

And Sacha, I wanted to thank you greatly for this blog. Without it, I wouldn't have been able to open up about a subject that I'll probably have problems dealing with for a long time to come.

Dittos, goat lady and Sacha! We'll certainly keep you in our prayers, Mrs. Dolphin

whitefawn, I send you my condolences. If you're from around here, you may remember a girl who died by suicide (thank you for the terminology I've been searching for) on March 3, (I believe) 2006. She was a good friend of mine, and is sorely missed.

I had always been taught that suicide was the ultimate sin, but after my mom passed, I didn't WANT to believe it anymore. I believe in Heaven, and I didn't want to believe that I wouldn't be greeted by my mom (among all the others I've lost) when I got there. And, thinking of what you said, I'm not sure I will. I'm not for certain she was ever baptised or saved. I know she believed in Him, but that's about it. She wasn't openly religious, is my point.

It hasn't even been a year since she passed...it's still REALLY hard. I'll talk to her at night before I go to sleep, praying one day she'll answer. And now my sister's dad (we have different dad's) won't let me have anything to do with my sister just because he doesn't like me. Which adds insult to injury. I don't feel as if there's anything I can do about it either.

Thank you again whitefawn. You have helped me to understand things a little better...though I completely agree that all we can do is cope with it. Most of my thoughts on suicide thus far have been laced with anger due to my emotions of being left behind. You have given me a perspective that is positive...which is what I've needed for 9 months now.

It seems I diverted from the original question of this topic. Should a dying person be allowed the means with which to end their lives? I have mixed emotions, as well, about the machine to inject themselves with, but not from a religious point of view.

We can already leave instructions for "pulling the Plug" in a legal instrument called a "Living Will and Health Care Directive". It lets the health care providers know that if you are in a terminal state that you do or do not want life support. You can elect to have only medication to keep you comfortable and you can also direct that you do not want life support measures administered.

But should we allow them injections to end their lives? I am wrestling with this one as I lost my father to prostate cancer 5 1/2 years ago. I watched him go from a 6 ft 185 pound man to a bed ridden 140 lb. man who was nothing more than a skeleton covered with skin. His last three weeks of life was filled with pain, the last three days in a coma and I found myself praying the prayer for God to take him home.

I don't know IF he would have opted for the injection and I don't know how I would have reacted to it if he had wanted it. I hope that I would have looked at it unselfishly and would have supported whatever he wanted. Part of me says he had the right to choose, it's his life. Part of me cries "no way" as I wanted to spend as much time with my Dad as I could. He faced the options of surgery or chemo, but we knew it wouldn't matter as the disease was too far gone. I discussed his options with him and told him that whatever he wanted I would see to it that it was done. I sat with him the evening he died and it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I think that if he were given the option and wanted it and I refused him, living with that would be far harder. Just food for thought.

mrsdolphin, I don't care what ministers say - the fact that your mom wasn't baptised and wasn't overtly religious does not mean she won't be in Heaven. That's a judgement made by man, not God. God knew her heart. He knew her pain. He understood more than anyone could what caused her to choose to die. He knew that she had more than she could bear and He welcomed her home. Many years from now when the time comes for Him to call you home, you will find your mom waiting for you. She'll be smiling.

It is a terrible shock to lose someone to suicide. We're wracked by guilt and doubt - could I have done something else? - could I have done something better? The answer is no. Usually, we couldn't have made any difference and we must stop beating ourselves up. A heart can only bear so much regret.

Time and prayer are the only things that help. My roommate departed this earth more than 30 years ago. I still miss her and pray for her but I'm mostly healed. My mom died over two years ago and I still occassionally reel over the loss, but I'm getting better.

The loss of a child is so much more profound. It's so against how you expect your life to go. You don't expect to outlive your kids. It's probably the hardest thing a person will ever endure.

The loss of a mother is probably next. You feel so adrift. You feel like an orphan no matter how old you are when it happens.

I get so tired of people saying you'll "get over it" whenever someone loses a loved one. I don't think you ever do. But you can endure. You can keep breathing in and out. You're right, eventually the memory of the loss can be replaced with warm loving memories of the person.

Hang in their whitefawn and mrsdolphin. You're in my prayers.

Ducky,

Thank you for your comments and your prayers. Prayers are definately what help to keep us going. I get tired of hearing "you'll get over it", too. You never get over it, you learn how to cope with it.

Goat Lady, you said it well. Many people don't know what to say and feel very awkward in those situations. I don't know what it feels like to lose a husband as you have and I am very sorry for your loss. I've watched my mom since Dad died and can see what she goes through and know it has to be tough. Perhaps rather than saying nothing at all, I think the best thing anyone can say is: "I'm sorry for your loss" and leave it at that and, like you said, be there to give a big hug. The old addage is true: actions speak louder than words. God bless you both.

Ducky, Whitefawn, and GL, thank you all so much for your condolences. I, too, agree that you can only cope and endure...never "get over." It hasn't even been a year...I still cry, I still wonder, I still beat myself up. I've gotten a little better, but I know I still have a long road to travel before I can even say that I'm mostly ok.

GL, I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband. I, too, have built my entire life around my husband and my boys, and I can't honestly say I could imagine what to do without any of them...but I'm sure I'll also endure, because that's just what we do. You're also right that funerals are important. It was difficult for me, because I hadn't seen my mom in almost 6 years...and to reunite with her in that way was awful. But I wouldn't have missed it for the world. I also hadn't spoken to that side of the family in that many years, and was reunited with them. They took me into their arms, and welcomed me back, and helped me make it through that day. Thank God for family.

To you Ducky, thank you for your words of encouragement. I only pray that she is there waiting for me when my time comes. I pray for her still. I just wish I would have prayed more for her before.

I hope that we can all cope with all the losses we endure in life. My mother's passing even hurt my father whom she had left 19 years before. He wouldn't show it, but I could hear it in his voice. I will keep you all in my prayers.