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The former Daily Statesman is now The Dexter Statesman and currently does not have an operating website.

Sex and Politics; better than the Farmer's Almanac

Posted Tuesday, November 15, 2011, at 1:12 PM

The higher you are in the polls, the more likely that something from your past is going to surface that will throw some doubt as to one's character. The intensity of the attacks on candidates seems to be in direct correlation to the number of months left until Election Day. Insinuations regarding corruption may work when the election is still 8 months to a year off but when the vote is merely a few weeks away the real character assignations begin, and what better way to throw doubt about a candidates character than a good sex scandal!

So how do you manufacture a good old-fashioned scandalous affair? Well, nothing spreads better than good old-fashioned gossip, so if you can't find information you create it! Online dating sites are becoming so mainstream that profiles on http://match.com or even the ultra selective http://sugardaddie.com dating websites won't raise an eyebrow any more so you must dig deeper, and perhaps be lucky enough to come up with the holy grail of scandals, the affair with the illegal immigrant nanny and her love child.

The Farmer's Almanac has been making long-range weather predictions since its initial publication in the early 1800's and assists farmers in planting and harvesting their crops. This is eerily coincidental in that the run up to the Presidential Election may begin up to two years prior to the actual vote. The Farmer's Almanac may also give predictions that far in advance with a harvest usually taking place in mid to late fall. The Presidential Election culminates in late fall, a coincidence? Perhaps, but just as the almanac suggests planting seeds, so can political pundits begin planting the seeds of doubt in the character and abilities of a candidate. The time of year can be possibly determined by the intensity of the attacks upon a candidate or political party. As summer turns to autumn so do minor indiscretions turn into full-fledged conspiracies and torrid affairs.

In today's world of high technology a person can get their news in any number of ways such as Cable TV or the Internet, and since so many of the parent corporations of these media outlets have their own agendas, there is never a shortage of good gossip, innuendo and manufactured or skewed views on a topic or person. We as citizens must utilize all the information available, just as Farmer's may use the Almanac's predictions for picking the best crops to plant and when to harvest, so must we use the information offered to us to pick the next Commander in Chief. So if you find yourself without a calendar but notice the leaves falling off the trees in an election year, and the vitriol of the political pundits building to a crescendo, you know its either time to harvest the crops or vote for president!

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I see you're using the correct Farmer's Almanac too! It's the most accurate. So, being the most accurate, we should use its information to choose the next pres! Yessir!

-- Posted by swift on Wed, Nov 16, 2011, at 2:55 PM

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Derek Stanton writes and daydreams for the pure joy of transposing his thoughts to the written word. Mr. Stanton holds an MBA degree and enjoys spending time near his home in South Florida when not with his family in the heartland of Missouri. A bottle of The Glenlivet Scotch, a good cigar and his loyal hound “Skippy” have been the muse that allows Derek to write about the world from a slightly different perspective.
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