Jevvernotice?
Did you ever notice (hence, jevvernotice)…
that when you eat a six-pack of Skinny Cows consistently each night for a week, the clothes in your closet shrink at least two sizes? Never fails, believe me…I've tried out this theory many times.
that you're the only one at the stoplight who knows to gun it when the light turns green?
that grey hairs multiply at a remarkably quicker pace than blonde ones?
that the older we get, the more attractive exercise sounds until you try to exercise? I believe that's called "in theory."
that most items labeled, "low-carb" closely resemble the consistency and taste of cardboard?
that although skirts may be as short as we wore them in the 60's, they appear A LOT shorter when you're ….well, older.
that when you join friends for lunch these days, the conversation centers around funerals, cholesterol counts and flashes?
that your children behaved much better than your grandchildren do? Could that be because we applied pressure as needed? I recall an ex who regularly paddled our two eldest BEFORE entering a restaurant when they were around two and four. His theory was that he knew they were going to misbehave before the meal's end anyway, so he might as well get it over with, thereby not spoiling his dinner. Mmmmmmmmm…absurd as it was, it seemed to have worked, as I recall.
that a new outfit makes a new you, if even for a day or an evening? (and worth every penny)!
That a bouquet of flowers is much more appealing in your 50's than in your 20's? I think that's because we're beyond worrying about the expense and we know how to appreciate the gesture, or just the scent!
That wrinkles DON'T serve as laugh lines afterall? Who knew?
That sleeping through the night, without interruption, is a thing to be cherished?
That in the big city papers, people die in alphabetical order? Odd, but true.
Jevvernotice…
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I'd settle for that as well, but I'd check for that thick billfold and that persistent bad cough before committing. Remember, every once in awhile in a bale of hay, you'll find a black snake that's been caught in the processing!